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Internet Etiquette?

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Nov 07, 2007 6:30 PM GMT

Many people claim there is an unspoken social order that has formed with the new social structure called the Internet, but some times I wonder if it really exists. On a daily basis I get emails from men wwho, for what ever reason am not attracted to (i.e. not very close in age, not a problem if their not soliciting sex, sex solicitors in general, just not mentally/ physically attracted,high on the creepy/ flake scale, ect.), usually i find the common decency within to reply to each email with atleast a "no thanks".In most cases I try to tactfully state why Im not interested. So does anyone find it annoying when people will not even pay you the common respect of replying. yes, i know ive messed up a time or two and not done it myself, but does anyone else find this amazingly annoying.

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Nov 07, 2007 7:38 PM GMT

yeah I agree that it is rude and annoying. If you send someone a message, and it's not overtly offensive or something, then you should have the decency to respond. Even if just to say that you arent intrested. Although if someone doesnt respond to me then I automaticly paint them as an asshole and forget about them.

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Laurence

Posts: 942

Nov 07, 2007 7:45 PM GMT

Hi guys

We've had this discussion before on RJ and the consensus seemed to be that what some guys think is rudeness, others don't. Some guys get a lot of unsolicited emails and don't think they need to reply, even with a 'thanks, but no thanks' sort of reply.

My take is - don't take it personally if they don't reply, maybe they're busy, or it's been a rough couple of weeks etc. Keep up your good work of replying to everyone, as that is polite and shows you in a good light.

Remember it is the internet and often rules from other walks of life don't apply.

Lozx

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Squarejaw

Posts: 1035

Nov 07, 2007 8:03 PM GMT

I think it's nice to respond to everyone's initial message if it's polite. (And I know I personally haven't always been consistent.) Sometimes when the exchange continues but doesn't get beyond "Hey" and "sup," I'll just let it lapse.

If someone simply unlocks their pics without sending a message, I won't necessarily respond (any more than I would strike up a conversation with a flasher on the street).

And when I get a message like "Can I be your friend?" or "Email me!" from a total stranger, I'll often ignore it because I have no idea what to say. ("No." "Why?" "Who the fuck are you?" -- none of these feel right.)

I can see why someone in a small town with few gay outlets (I grew up in one) might want to invest a lot of energy into pen pals, but not everyone is in that situation, so different people on this site may have different expectations.

BTW, the other day I sent a polite note to a guy in my own city whom I've always found attractive. He didn't acknowledge it in any way. I thought, "Can't you even be civil?" but my reaction was due more to my wounded ego than my sense of proper etiquette.

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Nov 07, 2007 8:09 PM GMT

i knew that we had, had this convo before but couldnt find it. thanks guys for the input. I understand a good many guys get a large amount of mail from people, been there and done that. I also am doing my best to not let it personally effect me. Sometimes you just need to vent alittle.

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Nov 07, 2007 8:12 PM GMT

I've seen it all on The Internet. It's a place where the head-fucked congregate and get away with it.

1. Rude
2. Pictureless
3. Faggy torso shot
4. Dick shot only
5. Really ugly and thinking that for some reason I'd want to cam with them.
6. Fetishes (you name it...feet, piss, poop, clothes, domination, etc.)
7. Profileless.

Many folks don't like themselves nor have self-esteem. They get on The Internet, and they become VGL (Very Gay and Looking), Superman, and the like.

Mental illness abounds.

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Nov 07, 2007 8:39 PM GMT

Internet Etiquette?

I wonder why people are worried about such a thing. Shouldn't we be worried about the Etiquette in general... you know the stuff used when you interact directly with humans? It's really a lost art.

I also wonder how someone (whose profile pic is of their ass) is wondering about etiquette when you yourself would rather greet the world with your ass versus... i don't know... you face?

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Nov 07, 2007 8:48 PM GMT

"I also wonder how someone (whose profile pic is of their ass) is wondering about etiquette when you yourself would rather greet the world with your ass versus... i don't know... you face?"

Too funny!!!

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Nov 07, 2007 9:25 PM GMT

I only reply to sexy men.

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MarkX

Posts: 101

Nov 07, 2007 9:25 PM GMT

I'm with mtnclimber81. Why focus on 'netiquette when "common" sense should intuit rules of "common" decency? Politeness and taste should spill over into one's internet life.

But for far too many, the relative anonymity of the 'net makes it too easy to lose all sense of decency. Why put forth the faintest effort if there appear to be no repercussions for rudeness?

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Nov 07, 2007 10:17 PM GMT

I agree with mtnclimber. I am on this site to make friends, not talk sex. and I post this clearly on my profile. Still I get ims and emails asking if I want to hook-up, how big my member is, etc etc. I however, do not feel the need to tell them I'm not interested. If they were interested in me then they would have read my profile and seen that I don't talk about the shit.

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Squarejaw

Posts: 1035

Nov 07, 2007 10:22 PM GMT

Common sense and etiquette have little to do with each other. Politeness often flies in the face of common sense. And what's perfectly polite in one social circle is taboo in another. We wouldn't have such variation if it all came down to common sense.

Proper etiquette is a consensus that change with location, circumstance, and time. We still don't have that consensus for message boards, and that's the cause of so much misunderstanding.

In fact, it's misleading even to think there's one common sense standard across all internet sites. What's acceptable on manhunt could get you thrown off Salon's Table Talk boards.

That leads to another question: How would you characterize RealJock? Is it a trashy pick-up place or a high-falutin' snobbery barn? Obviously(to me), it's somewhere in between, but where?

The answer to that will influence proper deportment on this site.

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MarkX

Posts: 101

Nov 07, 2007 10:54 PM GMT

It can be many things to many people.

For many there is the chance to post their genitals digitally across the world.

For others, there's the wealth of fitness and health advice, which is why I originally signed up.

But I remain active for this forum. I was just mentioning in another thread that the posts here can be empowering, supportive and nurturing. Solicited advice is often lucid and well-researched. Debates are lively and sometimes passionate. Comments are introspective, insightful and frequently well-spelled.

And then there's McGay, who just cracks me up.

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NorthFl

Posts: 98

Nov 07, 2007 11:39 PM GMT

yeah unanswered e-mail are annoying but I get over it quickly plus it's a good filter for who I want to converse with.

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Nov 08, 2007 12:21 AM GMT

as usual very well said Squarejaw

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Nov 08, 2007 12:22 AM GMT

ohh and to those of you who question my choice in profile picture... You would clearly understood if you had read my profile.

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Nov 08, 2007 12:25 AM GMT

I always think that, if I was in realspace, would I allow a person to behave so poorly? E.g., no pics, no profile, dick pics, faggy torso shots, etc. As a general rule, if it won't fly in realspace, I won't allow it in my internet space. I've been called a myriad of names from bitter queen, to self-centered to hateful, but, that's the rule I apply: would I allow it in real space? If the answer is no I either block or ignore them. There's no excuse for some of the crap some folks do.

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Squarejaw

Posts: 1035

Nov 08, 2007 12:47 AM GMT

What's a "faggy torso shot"?

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Nov 08, 2007 12:57 AM GMT

This is my take on this topic. I think it is definitely only polite and decent to say thank you if someone compliments you in some way. It would be hard to find any excuse for not sending a simple thanks. Unfortunately, even when you just say thanks without giving any indication you want further correspondence, plenty of guys seem to think that means there's interest there when you were just being nice. They send another another email to find out more and it's likely it won't get responded to. I don't feel bad about this. If I didn't bother to find out anymore about you when I responded then why on Earth would I feel like answering your questions about me?

Now it's a different story when someone sends a "hey", "how's it going", "what's up", "how are you" type email. I do try to respond to most of those but honestly there are times it just doesn't register on the priority list. When I send a email like that I don't expect anything in return. Why should I? I chose to contact them. Why should expect someone I don't even know to go out of their way to acknowledge me if they have no desire to? Not getting a response to an email is disinterest. I don't need a separate email from someone to figure that one out. I don't need a reason for your disinterest either. I have never understood why anyone cares if they don't get a response from someone. It's not like its your mom and best friend ignoring you. When you're dealing with complete strangers, how is it justifiable for anyone to tell anyone else what is expected? It's certainly not something to be bothered over. I don't concern myself when the stranger I say "hey" to on the street just keeps on walking without acknowledging me. I don't see this as being any different. I'll save my concern for far more important things.

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Timbales

Posts: 13999

Nov 08, 2007 1:45 AM GMT

I try to talk on the net like I'm talking to someone in person.

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Nov 08, 2007 1:57 AM GMT

I agree with bwg77.

I also look at it as the amount of effort the person puts into the email. Simple one word emails are spam to me and get nothing in return. However, even if an email doesnt really click with me, but the person put out some effort, I respond.

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Nov 08, 2007 1:57 AM GMT

SquareJawWhat's a "faggy torso shot"?

LIKE THIS, CHUCKY?

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Nov 08, 2007 2:01 AM GMT

Ooops! I beg your pardon, Mister, that was rather rude of me.

Please, carry on.

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Nov 08, 2007 3:20 AM GMT

Baldrick05...always good to talk to you.

Back to your original post..."Many people claim there is an unspoken social order that has formed with the new social structure called the Internet"

You are correct. There is a social order, but it's not new.

Welcome to "Real Jock High School" where the Abercrombie & Fitches talk to other Abercrombie & Fitches and hot football players don't talk to geek band fags (my peeps). The prettiest cover boys seek out other pretty cover boys. Cliques exist on RJ as in life.

Ignore the inconsiderate jerks and continue to build relationships with the many great guys on this site. They obviously don't know what they are missing by not getting to know you; their loss.

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Nov 08, 2007 3:22 AM GMT

Torso, legs, trophy, and so on, along with face, smile, and so on.

A singular torso shot was what I was referring to. I should have stated it differently, in line with your comprehension level.

Jealousy is the most sincere compliment.

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Internet Etiquette?