Do you tell a guy he's a bad kisser?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2009 5:25 AM GMT
    So, I've been out with this guy a couple of time. And he's a very nice guy, and very sweet. Get along great. But he's a HORRIBLE kisser. No lips, jst tongue darting in and out. And bad in bed. The kind of "bad in bed" where you just want the sex to be over with.

    Would you tell a guy you didn't want to date him because he's a bad kisser, and bad in bed? Or do you just tell him there wasn't any "sexual chemistry". I mean, I guess I'd want to know if I was bad, other than hear a nice white lie.
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    May 12, 2009 5:35 AM GMT
    oh they don't need to, I know i"m a bad kisser *nods* thank gawd I make up for it in bed
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    May 12, 2009 6:10 AM GMT
    You may think you'd be doing him a favor by telling him but, he'd just think you were a jerk.
    If you think he's worth keeping, you're going to have to do some very careful coaching to get him trained to do what you want him to do. And, that might end up being impossible.
    Otherwise, cut him loose...
    Maybe he feels the same way about you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2009 6:52 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidoh they don't need to, I know i"m a bad kisser *nods* thank gawd I make up for it in bed


    Well, at least you have 1 out of 2. icon_wink.gif He had zero.
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    May 12, 2009 7:10 AM GMT
    Tell him how you like it. Not as if you're criticizing him, but as if you're asking him to indulge you.

    That is, if you want to salvage him.
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    May 12, 2009 7:42 AM GMT
    NakedDevil saidSo, I've been out with this guy a couple of time. And he's a very nice guy, and very sweet. Get along great. But he's a HORRIBLE kisser. No lips, jst tongue darting in and out. And bad in bed. The kind of "bad in bed" where you just want the sex to be over with.

    Would you tell a guy you didn't want to date him because he's a bad kisser, and bad in bed? Or do you just tell him there wasn't any "sexual chemistry". I mean, I guess I'd want to know if I was bad, other than hear a nice white lie.



    Aw nakeddevil do i know him, maybe i should tell him for you. I will ya know lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2009 8:18 AM GMT
    I've been in this situation before and I had the conversation. I was honest and asked if he would try and he became one of the best kissers I have ever kissed. And of course, in any relationship, you must talk about what you like and don't like in bed. Gay men may be charmed, but we are still not mind readers.
  • nv7_

    Posts: 1453

    May 12, 2009 8:58 AM GMT
    No you don't. I know it sounds crazy, but trust me on this. Someone may like how this guy kisses, just not you. I've been there. icon_cool.gif
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    May 12, 2009 10:38 AM GMT
    There's nothing wrong with telling him, but be prepared for a negative reaction. Some guy's egos can't take that type of criticism. If you've just started going out, it's probably best to reconsider your options. You might want to move on if he sucks in the sack, and he's a bad kisser.

    However, if there's some chemistry there that goes well beyond the physical, why not discuss this with him? What have you got to lose? Teaching an old dog new tricks can be a lot of fun, if you know what I mean.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2009 11:55 AM GMT
    I've said it before, "Hey! What are you doing? Nobody kisses like that."
    That's the best ice-breaker.
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    May 12, 2009 12:06 PM GMT
    I had a guy that used to stab me with his tongue. I would just try to slow up his process and have him follow my lead. It seemed to work until he wanted to get more aggressive. Then he would continue stabbing me. I just dealt with it. Plus he was AWESOME in bed. I sucked it up and dealt with it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2009 12:14 PM GMT
    gene.jpg


    I think you two need to sit down and have the all important "tongue is not the only device for oral consummation" chat...

    If his ego can't take it, I say, "Good day!"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2009 12:23 PM GMT
    First, you grab him by the face and kiss him the way you want to be kissed. Lead by example.

    Second, if the first fails, have a frank, gentle discussion. Approach it not in a personal way, but in a 'kissing styles' discussion.
  • hoo4u

    Posts: 119

    May 12, 2009 12:29 PM GMT
    I smell a new REALITY SHOW people. Bravo has openings do they not.

    May have to go with, "Can This Kisser be Saved!?" Cuz I think my first choice, "Can This Fucker Be Saved!?" is already taken.

    But to answer your question. Tell him if he's worth saving. If you can't communicate honestly with something this basic, then what are you gonna do when things get complicated. If he wants to improve then he stays, if not, he's gone and no great loss. It's obviously important to you to date a decent lip locker and sexual partner.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 12, 2009 12:36 PM GMT
    I dated a guy who was like a human Pez Dispenser. It was like he was trying to eat my whole face. There's nothing sexy about wiping saliva off your forehead.
  • Sayrnas

    Posts: 847

    May 12, 2009 12:52 PM GMT
    I think you (yourself) make the bad kisser. Take the call and drive your dude on where to go. If he's lickin' your face, take control of his tongue. If he's not doin' shit...Work something else and get him to work it back! icon_twisted.gif

    May be that's just me. I haven't practiced in a while...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2009 12:57 PM GMT
    i dated a guy whos mouth was always cold. it was gross to make out with him and i hated it when he gave me head
  • SFNavigator

    Posts: 62

    May 12, 2009 1:13 PM GMT
    Oh hell, he's bad in bed? a terrible kisser? Too much to change here. Kick his ass to the curb and move on.
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    May 12, 2009 1:35 PM GMT
    No don't do it. I dated this guy years ago that no matter what kind of kiss it was he felt that he needed to shove his tongue down my throat. Finally I just had enough of it and broke up with him. He was alright in bed though. Not the best but alright.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2009 2:22 PM GMT
    Nope- I just wouldn't kiss him anymore icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2009 2:26 PM GMT
    Abosolutely how do you think they are going to get better? I would want someone to tell me. Yes I would have to pick my ego up off the floor. I would follow by saying....then teach me! I have never had that problem. LOL!
    Only if he's a bad kisser...the latter pretty much a wash with me. Done there done that, it's was just terrible so much so I just said stop! I waited a month for this ew!
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 12, 2009 2:40 PM GMT
    Few, if any, are great kissers or great in bed right off the bat. It's not like these are actions we can practice on our own. We're just thrust into the situation with only what we have seen as our guide. So practice is the key. I find learning my example to be very useful.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2009 2:47 PM GMT
    If he's bad due to inexperience - that can be a pleasure to fix icon_biggrin.gif
    If he's just bad... move on!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2009 6:39 PM GMT
    There is no future with a guy who is a bad kisser, with me at least. Kissing tells me almost everything I need to know about a guy in terms of chemistry. I recently dated a guy who was a bad kisser, but since there were so many aspects about him that were good, I made an exception.

    Explained to him that kissing for me is very important.....brought the subject out into the open, and tried various ways for us to find our kissing groove.

    Big mistake. I should have listened to my instincts in the first place.
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    May 12, 2009 6:43 PM GMT
    hmm...suddenly I want to date a bad kisser, and then turn his technique back on him. Let him see how it feels! lol