A Mothers Tolerance?

  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    May 12, 2009 9:27 PM GMT
    10-20-07_1015.jpgAnnoyedMax.jpg


    Ok, here's another wonder adventure in my life for you guys..haha.

    So I'm in Iraq and have been communicating with my mother via facebook. Today she sent me a message stating that she and my father are selling the house, but they would give it to me if I were to marry a woman. She also stated that god created adam and even, not adam and steve. This is after me telling her I was gay over 4yrs ago.

    So I said, "How dare you obligate me to such details, especially for a material possession. You do not tell me who to love. You will learn that in the end the only thing that really matters is love. Your tolerance is no longer good enough for me. Tolerance is not love. And for me to be your son, i must have love."

    Also for Mother's day, I sent my mother and my sister (she is a mother, my nephews obviously) some roses. Both with cards.

    My sisters card said, "Remember to love your sons unconditionally. Happy mother's day, sister."

    My mothers card said, "Learn what the phrase unconditional love means. Happy mothers day, Debbie."





    So any thoughts today..........
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    May 12, 2009 10:36 PM GMT
    WOW! First: I've got a crazy head, (mother) like that also. Putting conditions on getting things from here. I'm not talking normal, if your a good boy I'll give you a cookie. Your card for mom's day may have been the instigating factor maybe. Second: find a cool lesbian and see if you can work something out???
    :-)
  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    May 12, 2009 10:56 PM GMT
    I sent the flowers and card afterwards....it was sort of a vindictive reaction about the cards tho....
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    May 13, 2009 12:23 AM GMT
    Mercury, good for you for saying that. I always disliked the whole "tolerance" junk....we're not an itch, we're humans, and deserve acceptance.

    any response from them?
  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    May 13, 2009 12:57 AM GMT
    Here's an Update everyone:



    she responded with:


    you will always be my son.Its your idea of your own image that bothers me.How do you really think I would accept your being gay.I sorry you are offended ,but you offend me with being gay.I am not happy about it at all.I am not going to pretend to be happy with something I am not.that would be a lie.being gay is just lust of another mans body.just like lust over someone else's wife or husband.You can say good bye all you want.but one day you will be back.I will always be here







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    May 13, 2009 1:04 AM GMT
    well to bring in another view point here..

    WHy does she have to accept you? because your her son, is that the only reason? Why don't you accept her? because shes suppose to be better then that?

    This idea that simply because she brought you into this world that shes all accepting and loving and shit is totally wrong, your mother is just another person, with her own ideas and values..

    You've no right to demand she abandon her believes, so you can be happy in hers.
  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    May 13, 2009 1:14 AM GMT


    I've always believed that a family should love each other unconditionally. That's why.
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    May 13, 2009 1:17 AM GMT
    but are you loving her unconditionally?
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    May 13, 2009 1:19 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidwell to bring in another view point here..

    WHy does she have to accept you? because your her son, is that the only reason? Why don't you accept her? because shes suppose to be better then that?

    This idea that simply because she brought you into this world that shes all accepting and loving and shit is totally wrong, your mother is just another person, with her own ideas and values..

    You've no right to demand she abandon her believes, so you can be happy in hers.


    I find it interesting that coming from you, considering you are not accepting of other peoples views that are different to yours! yet you expect to be accepted.

    Yes she did created this lad, and her body did determine his sexuality. So she should be 100% accepting of his sexuality! She made him, and determined his sexuality!

    I find it very cruel of Debbie to of told him they were selling the house, but if he had a wife, they would give it to them. This was done to hurt.

    I divorced the creature who gave birth to me.
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    May 13, 2009 1:25 AM GMT
    Sounds similar to my mother....

    Only not regarding the gay issue, but over the power and money issue...

    She hasnt' gotten a mothers day card in two years...and I cant remember the last time she called me...or vice versa.

    Out of sight, out of mind. "Adopt" a new mother who accepts you for who you are. So much better.

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    May 13, 2009 1:42 AM GMT
    pattison said

    ....


    I find it interesting that coming from you, considering you are not accepting of other peoples views that are different to yours! yet you expect to be accepted.

    Yes she did created this lad, and her body did determine his sexuality. So she should be 100% accepting of his sexuality! She made him, and determined his sexuality!

    I find it very cruel of Debbie to of told him they were selling the house, but if he had a wife, they would give it to them. This was done to hurt.


    Wow. I think this is the first time I have agreed with Pattison.
  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    May 13, 2009 1:43 AM GMT
    I do love her unconditionally. I still love her. But i think its funny that she's the one who raised me and can't accept the way I turned out. She should only be blaming herself. Anyway, I'm vindictive....so i took her off my friendlist.
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    May 13, 2009 1:47 AM GMT



    MercuryMax said, "I do love her unconditionally. I still love her. "


    ....that's why it hurts so much and that's why you've started this topic, we think.

    Hang in there!


    -Doug and Bill of meninlove
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    May 13, 2009 1:52 AM GMT
    Lostboy said
    pattison said

    ....


    I find it interesting that coming from you, considering you are not accepting of other peoples views that are different to yours! yet you expect to be accepted.

    Yes she did created this lad, and her body did determine his sexuality. So she should be 100% accepting of his sexuality! She made him, and determined his sexuality!

    I find it very cruel of Debbie to of told him they were selling the house, but if he had a wife, they would give it to them. This was done to hurt.


    Wow. I think this is the first time I have agreed with Pattison.

    Well, since I"ve been subjected to his views I should probably respond..

    I don't need others to accept me, the people who like me, like me, the people who don't, don't, I've no desire, no need to be accepted by everyone, least of all you.. not lost either..

    You have your views, thats nice, good for you, doesn't mean that I need to put up with them. Hence, I have you blocked.

    You might note, if by some chance your world aligns with reality for a moment, that I neither agreed nor disagreed with what his mother has said or done, I simple provided another view.. which, I recall many times Pattison, you have made your self as you so claim.. or will you forget that for a moment in an attempt to have a go at me?

    And at no point have I demanded another person abandon there view points and align them with mine, I wont demand it and it wouldn't be right. But It doesn't mean I need to stand by while anyone becomes belligerent towards another person or group which you your self have done on many many many occasions (again, reason for blocking you)
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    May 13, 2009 1:53 AM GMT
    I like the lesbian idea.
    Am I correct that a marriage can be annulled if it has not been consummated ?
    Have a lawyer write up an iron clad prenuptial agreement between you and the lesbian.
    Marry the lesbian.
    Take legal possession of the house.
    Have the marriage annulled.
    Say, "Thanks, mom !"
    The marriage ? It just didn't work out.
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    May 13, 2009 1:57 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidI like the lesbian idea.
    Am I correct that a marriage can be annulled if it has not been consummated ?
    Have a lawyer write up an iron clad prenuptial agreement between you and the lesbian.
    Marry the lesbian.
    Take legal possession of the house.
    Have the marriage annulled.
    Say, "Thanks, mom !"
    The marriage ? It just didn't work out.


    Better yet, marry a military lesbian.
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    May 13, 2009 1:59 AM GMT
    MercuryMax saidI do love her unconditionally. I still love her. But i think its funny that she's the one who raised me and can't accept the way I turned out. She should only be blaming herself. Anyway, I'm vindictive....so i took her off my friendlist.


    I get that its difficult, its never easy having someone you love behaving that way towards you.. hell, I haven't spoken to my mother since I was 18, but the best you can do is challenger he views, offer counter arguments and hope that she comes around..

    from my personal opinion your mother has a very old believe, but, its hers none the less, shes managed to raise a son who, from what I've been able to gather from your few posts is although somewhat lost a good guy in the whole.. so, shes not all bad..

    Accept that she loves you, but, your sexuality is as much a difficult thing for her to accept as it was for you...

    although, a few stern words to lay down a few things wouldn't go astray either.
  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    May 13, 2009 2:02 AM GMT
    No i can't do the marriage thing. I have morals.
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    May 13, 2009 3:48 AM GMT
    I get why you are angry, but why does she have to be a bitch? or is that just for dramatic affect?

    LilTanker is right. You only get one mother and you should do everything within your power to, not necessarily change her mind per se, but to get her to realize that you are the same little boy she was proud that has grown into a man who is making his way in life with what she and your dad gave you.

    And I still don't agree with Pattison. She doesn't have to accept his sexuality. What she should come to terms with and what the OP may very well have to do is agree that no common ground is going to be stood on by the two of them on this issue. I was much more fortunate. It took my mother all of 2 seconds to get past it after I told her.
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    May 13, 2009 3:57 AM GMT
    Mothers can be the worst and the best - we want (and need) their love and support. It's because they raised us to the folks we are today. It is difficult for many Moms to let go of their kids - let them be independent, let them be the guy they are - it is doubly difficult if the offspring does not fit Mom's world view or expectations. That is not to suggest that Debbie's cruel bargain is justified - it is not.

    On one level - can you agree to disagree on this, albeit fundamental, point and both move on with your lives? Every family has issues, some families allow them to tear them apart, other families sweep them under the rug, some families resolve them in ways that everyone can live with.

    I'm curious as to what your Dad's view on this whole situation is? Does your Mom speak for both of them? Has he ex-communicated you? ??

    And one final thought:
    What would Oedipus do? icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 13, 2009 4:00 AM GMT
    For mothers day I disowned her. Actually I disowned her a few days beforehand. I couldn't even say how many times I've done this but already my life has improved.
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    May 13, 2009 4:02 AM GMT
    I think you cannot argue with someone like that and expect them to change. However you can tell her that the latest scientific research shows that while gender is comes from the father, it is the mother that creates the sexual orientation icon_lol.gif

    Seriously though, you just have to be confident and stand on your own two feet. To do this means throughout your life people will disagree with you, shun you, or disrespect you. But being a man means you will do what you know is right even without your mother's approval. That is strength.
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    May 13, 2009 4:17 AM GMT
    For this I have Mom on the phone.

    Ooop...she says "Hi Tony!" (TheGuyNextDoor - she's spoken w/him on the phone)

    Mom says , "You can't tell your children who to marry, that's wrong. It's wrong to try to coerce them by promising them rewards. It's wrong to coerce your children to have to choose unhappiness so you can be happy."

    Now she's reading something.. " 'If I speak in the tongue of men and of angels but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging symbal. Love is patient, love is accepting, love is kind. It keeps no record of wrongs. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always preserves. ' This is the way that you should feel about your children. I saw it in a book and I was so impressed that I copied (wrote) it out to keep. "

    .....so now we've heard from a Mom. Mine.


    -Doug of meninlove


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 13, 2009 4:22 AM GMT
    we now know where Doug gets his mushy side from... icon_razz.gif
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    May 13, 2009 4:23 AM GMT
    it's fear they have, stick to what you want in life, you have the right to love and be loved.