Common courtesy or being rude?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 13, 2009 2:43 PM GMT
    Situation:

    Your long distance bf comes in to town to visit about once or twice a month for about 2 days at a time. While hes visiting you do you continue with your normal schedule working out and etc?

    My bf says he feels guilty when I change my life or schedule if he is here, ex. not working out. He is not a workout person. He has offered to go and sit in the jacuzzi but that defeats the purpose of him going with me to me.

    If he went I would want us to be together. He says he doesnt like me changing my plans if hes here. To me its common courtesy, I want to be with him. We do things together like bike ride and etc. but I dont work out so I can spend time with him.

    Am I being rude if I did leave him at home while I worked out? I felt like I was being loving and having "common courtesy" while he was here.

    I have a girlfriend that went all the way to California from Va. to visit a guy. She didnt want to work out but he was so dedicated he left her there alone and went and worked out anyway....and she said she admired his dedication......and it gave her time to go through his stuff....lmao!!!

    What do you think?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 13, 2009 4:28 PM GMT
    If someone is in town to see me for just a few days, I always change my schedule so I can spend as much time with them as possible. To me, that's the point of a visit; to spend time together.
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    May 13, 2009 4:28 PM GMT
    I would say continue your routine within reason and he has said that he would rather that you go to the gym so go. icon_biggrin.gif
  • metta

    Posts: 39155

    May 13, 2009 4:34 PM GMT
    Come to a mutual agreement. If you want to workout and he wants you to workout then go workout.

    It sounds like you both are willing to be flexible, so I don't think that there is a right or wrong answer here. Just play it by ear, depending on what the schedule/day looks like. I don't think that there needs to be a hard and fast rule here.
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    May 13, 2009 4:38 PM GMT
    My BF & I are in a LDR and I come in for 2 days or 2 weeks. He adapts his routine to me and I to him. I just live my life. Why worry?

    Your talking about 2 hours of your day, working out. He feels guilty because you do not go. Appreciate his concern and say I want to spend time with you, thank you for caring I have made the best decision for us.

    Moving forward.
  • nadaquever_rm

    Posts: 139

    May 13, 2009 4:48 PM GMT
    I would want to change my schedule while visiting, but your bf wants you to go to the gym, so you should keep going. If it really bothers you, just do less so you can get home faster.

    I bet he just wants to have sex with his sweaty, pumped-up, post-workout man.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 13, 2009 4:58 PM GMT
    If it's just for a few days. I would change my schedule to suit theirs. After all, isn't the main purpose of their visit to be together?
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    May 13, 2009 5:38 PM GMT
    It seems incredibly rigid to not be able to alter a schedule for 4 days out of thirty. If your bf insisted, that's different.

    It's not like your diabetic and going off insulin for two days.

    Personally, I would want to devote that time to my partner.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 13, 2009 5:47 PM GMT
    If it was a friend, MIGHT be rude. However I don't believe it's being rude! It's who you are, what you do and part of why he likes you. So, continue with your routine!
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 13, 2009 5:51 PM GMT
    Well my bf and I are long distance.. and he and I are much as you describe.. a couple of weekends a month, sometimes more. I would assume we probably have been doing it a little longer than you.

    I do change my routine so we can do things we enjoy together. There are two exceptions to that.... 1) Professional responsibilities (aka Board meetings, committee meetings).. and 2) My work out schedule.
    If possible, I try and do my workouts when he isn't seeing me, but when I'm due for a workout, I tell him in advance. Generally there are other things he can do while I'm working out.

    It works... he isn't into fitness, but he knows its very important to me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 13, 2009 6:47 PM GMT
    The first few times, I would just change the schedule. Afterwards, since the work out is only about an hour or so, maybe just going ahead to workout, say while he is sleeping or going out shopping, etc. I know you want to being with him every waking moment, but it really isn't necessary. Talk to him about your concerns so that it doesn't become an issue. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 13, 2009 8:22 PM GMT
    Two days at a time doesn't sound like much. I think I would reschedule my workouts to spend more time with him. Like others have said, I think it's nice that he's concerned about disrupting your schedule.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 13, 2009 11:23 PM GMT
    Do your workout with him: Have SEXicon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 13, 2009 11:31 PM GMT
    talk to him again. Tell him that in coming to visit you that HE is making a massive change to his routine, and that you feel you want to make the most of it by reciprocating. If he still wants you to work out (perhaps he´s like me and needs a bit of alone time even with the closest of friends) and you want to do it then do it. Just lock the naughty cupboard

    icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 14, 2009 12:04 AM GMT
    depends on how important something is.. a workout doesn't generally get skipped for anyone, however I will go in earlier to do it if need be.
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    May 14, 2009 12:09 AM GMT
    Hard to imagine a guy who can't come with you to the gym and at least find something he can do - for an hour to an hour and a half. Why can't your guy ride the bike, swim some laps or at the very least - catch some sun and use the jacuzzi? Its only an hour or so. Then - you can shower, dress and head out to do whatever else you want. I can't imagine - ever - being with anyone who refuses to take care of himself. What an imbalance that would be. We're talking an hour or two a day --- to do something good for the body.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2009 3:46 PM GMT
    Hey! I think you would need to establish what the intent of his visits are. If working out is a standard part of your day and can be done at a time when he, let's say, has other things that he does by himself during the day (e.g. reading, napping, etc) then try to coordinate your schedules so that they are conducive to spending as much time as possible together without interrupting your normal routine. My bf lives only 45 minutes away and we spend one day a week and most weekends together. He is an avid runner and I am a runner when I have time, but rather consistently. However, there have been times when I have had other things that I have had to get accomplished where I completed those tasks during the time that he went running. This compromise works for us and neither feels guilty about doing or not doing something when we are together. Let me know what you think about my advice when you get the chance. I would say that as long as you are spending quality time together, there is nothing wrong with your current set up of continuing your exercise program. However, I do know that you have one limitation that I don't and that is the fact that you only see your partner once or twice a month, whereas I see mine on a weekly basis. Good luck fella and stay in touch.

    Q
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2009 4:10 PM GMT
    Hell naw...leave his ass there 2-3 hrs, and get ur workout on broicon_exclaim.gif he may NOT workouticon_lol.gif get iticon_question.gif