Dreams of cheating...

  • RogerW19

    Posts: 37

    May 15, 2009 8:40 AM GMT
    I've been dating this guy for four months now and I really care about him a lot. This summer I am not able to see him cause he is doing some theatre shows in North Carolina. Well ever since I got home (away from him) I have been having dreams about him/me cheating. I wake up every night mad, until I realize it was just a dream. Has anyone ever experienced that? If so, what did you do to get over it?
  • Aznraven84

    Posts: 21

    May 15, 2009 1:53 PM GMT
    It's been four months that you guys have been together so it's pretty fresh. Although, within those four months, he could have found someone else, but chose you. Since this maybe your first time apart, and you find him oh so attractive, you maybe thinking that someone else would find him in the same light as you and maybe he might go for them.
    Don't sweat it...

    If you weren't good for him by now, he probably would have left you already. for someone else. Which means he still has a strong spark for you and only you.

    If your worried that these dreams are getting you mad, either call him to see how he is every night before you sleep, or read a book to get your head in the clear.

    It's just a separation anxiety that might be getting to you.

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    May 15, 2009 3:34 PM GMT
    Try and chill. You won't be able to though. icon_wink.gif
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    May 15, 2009 3:40 PM GMT



    Consider your dreams this way. Ever dreamed you won a giant lottery? That you had super powers? That you were killed? When you woke up were any of them true?

    Probably not. Dreams have a way for many of being the inverse of real life.


    Bill has dreams occasionally where he's smoking. Those ones wake him up in a panic because he quit years ago and it was very difficult for him.

    -Doug
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    May 15, 2009 5:00 PM GMT
    What you describe is love within the boundries of untested commitment between two lovers.

    Sounds like you need some measure of his commitment to the relationship without it feeling sufficating on both ends.

    The anxiety is gonna eat you up. ulcer!
  • tas_515

    Posts: 133

    May 15, 2009 5:39 PM GMT
    Idea: Tell him about your dreams and how they made you feel. It might spark a conversation about fidelity that clears the air a bit for both of you.

    Tim
  • RogerW19

    Posts: 37

    May 15, 2009 6:30 PM GMT
    Thanks guys for the comments...I really don't want to talk to him about it though i don't want him to think I don't trust him. I am for sure he won't cheat but I know anything can happen. I have always been the cheater (my relationships were only two weeks long) So i'm worried about karma its a bitch!! I think I'll try the book before I go to bed and If that doesn't work I'll suck it up and talk to him. Thanks again!
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    May 15, 2009 10:45 PM GMT
    yeah, don't tell him.. this concept that you tell your other half everything is stupid, you don't!

    your dreams could mean many things.. I've had an odd one before, when I was coupled, I'd dreamed my partner was having a shower with a women and doing da nasty with her, he'd previously only been with women before me and although I'd never admitted to anyone and barely even to my self there was always a concern that he'd end up back with a women..

    I woke up in a very bad mood that morning hahaha poor thing had no idea what was going on.

    I'd just put it behind you, if you have them try not to let them bother you..
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    May 15, 2009 10:52 PM GMT
    RogerW19 saidThanks guys for the comments...I really don't want to talk to him about it though i don't want him to think I don't trust him. I am for sure he won't cheat but I know anything can happen. I have always been the cheater (my relationships were only two weeks long) So i'm worried about karma its a bitch!! I think I'll try the book before I go to bed and If that doesn't work I'll suck it up and talk to him. Thanks again!


    Bang! you hit it on the head; your measure is based on your personal morals and previous actions. ouch! Will he do what you have done before in previous horn-dog relationships?
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    May 15, 2009 10:56 PM GMT
    I just really don't see what the big deal about monogamy is, we are afterall, men. No matter how attracted I am to the guys I'm with, and no matter how much we have in common, we're bound to explore other men. That's fine.

    As long as it doesn't undermine the quality of a relationship, and both partners are honest and upfront about their actions/feelings, I don't see any problems with playing around on the side.
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    May 15, 2009 11:15 PM GMT
    Hookem86 saidI just really don't see what the big deal about monogamy is, we are afterall, men. No matter how attracted I am to the guys I'm with, and no matter how much we have in common, we're bound to explore other men. That's fine.

    As long as it doesn't undermine the quality of a relationship, and both partners are honest and upfront about their actions/feelings, I don't see any problems with playing around on the side.


    Because some of us can actually maintain self control and also view Monogamy as something intimately exclusive, rare, and special. If both partners agree that their intimacy and love is only to be shared with each other...then yeah, it's big a deal.

    It's kind of like a rare stone that you've been searching for for years and feel it would be a waste just to pass around to strangers that might damage it.

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    May 16, 2009 1:07 AM GMT

    You can't help who you dream of having sex with. I had a hell of a one last night, let's just say next time my aunt comes over, I won't be able to look her in the eye. icon_redface.gif In your head, there is a green room with numerous actresses and actors inside waiting to be recruited for a scene. Your brain likes to use all of them which is why you can't just dream about one or why strange people get cast for the wrong roles.

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    May 16, 2009 1:15 AM GMT
    WolfRain saidBecause some of us can actually maintain self control and also view Monogamy as something intimately exclusive, rare, special. If both partners agree that their intimacy and love is only to be shared with each other...than yeah, it's big a deal.

    It's kind of like rare stone that you've been searching for for years and feel it would be a waste just to pass around to strangers that might damage it.

    Gawd your a sweetheart icon_biggrin.gif

    GuiltyGear said
    You can't help who you dream of having sex with. I had a hell of a one last night, let's just say next time my aunt comes over, I won't be able to look her in the eye. icon_redface.gif In your head, there is a green room with numerous actresses and actors inside waiting to be recruited for a scene. Your brain likes to use all of them which is why you can't just dream about one or why strange people get cast for the wrong roles.
    and your a dirty bugga icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 16, 2009 2:20 AM GMT
    hmm sorry...all your doing is trying to rationalize the idea for you to cheat by saying that you had this dream....... just go ahead and cheat if thats what you really want ----- as he might already beat you to it.....long distance relationships in the gay world is a no no.
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    Nov 11, 2013 6:53 AM GMT
    It bothers me that other gay guys do not appreciate the meaning of a life partner to love and stay by their side through the bad and good forever. One of my ex's told me he wanted to move on, but the things that pissed me off most, is not waiting to breakup with me first, and then go fucking around.

    I would tell my bf that I don't want to be with him because I know who I am and what I want, and I would not do that. This is just an example of how much in the gay world people forget to remember the original meanings of marriage and love and stability. That means a lot to me.
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    Nov 11, 2013 7:02 AM GMT
    Wolfrain said
    Hookem86 saidI just really don't see what the big deal about monogamy is, we are afterall, men. No matter how attracted I am to the guys I'm with, and no matter how much we have in common, we're bound to explore other men. That's fine.

    As long as it doesn't undermine the quality of a relationship, and both partners are honest and upfront about their actions/feelings, I don't see any problems with playing around on the side.


    Because some of us can actually maintain self control and also view Monogamy as something intimately exclusive, rare, and special. If both partners agree that their intimacy and love is only to be shared with each other...then yeah, it's big a deal.

    It's kind of like a rare stone that you've been searching for for years and feel it would be a waste just to pass around to strangers that might damage it.

    Amen!!
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    Nov 11, 2013 7:02 AM GMT
    First off, being gay isn't a green card to be reckless with your body, love life, and lives of the guys you have meaningful and meaning-less relationships with; cause you're still human. We're not robots programed to fuck, suck and dramatize life. Until we've become jaded from empty hookups; we're still able to experience and risk being hurt. Being hurt is what makes you wise; and how you handle that hurt is what makes you beautiful, or ugly if you allow it.
    I guess its a big step from just cheating, talking about the effects cheating and promiscuity can have on guys relationships. But when it comes to the dreams YOU'RE having, what matters in the interpretation is how you perceive the elements to be, and the meaning you assign them. After all, the dream came from the experiences of your life, and elements swimming the soup of your imagination as you slept.
    Don't just sweep these feeling under the rug. You're too young to die while you're still so vibrant and youthful. Examine your self, and be more like the man you want to find.
  • Oceans_of_Flo...

    Posts: 393

    Nov 11, 2013 7:12 AM GMT

    Let a little time pass and the nightmares just won't be scary anymore - oh, god. icon_sad.gificon_surprised.gif

    ..............................

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    Nov 11, 2013 7:23 AM GMT
    The fact that nobody takes this discussion seriously is an illustration on how many people have forgotten the original meanings of marriage and love, which is good for stability in one's life. It's not about being boring or uptight. If the thought of being attracted to someone else happens, which happens all the time, your own mind is suppose to kick in and remind you how much you are suppose to appreciate your better half.
  • onefortified

    Posts: 1630

    Nov 11, 2013 7:36 AM GMT
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    Nov 11, 2013 7:54 AM GMT
    May 15, 2009
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    Nov 11, 2013 8:46 AM GMT
    Neight saidMay 15, 2009


    lol
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Nov 11, 2013 9:47 AM GMT
    I want to know if he is still having "cheating dreams" 4.5 years after the thread started!

    icon_wink.gif
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    Nov 11, 2013 5:07 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidI want to know if he is still having "cheating dreams" 4.5 years after the thread started!

    icon_wink.gif


    Yes
    if only to give naturekid some peace of mind.
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    Nov 11, 2013 5:16 PM GMT
    RogerW19 saidThanks guys for the comments...I really don't want to talk to him about it though i don't want him to think I don't trust him. I am for sure he won't cheat but I know anything can happen. I have always been the cheater (my relationships were only two weeks long) So i'm worried about karma its a bitch!! I think I'll try the book before I go to bed and If that doesn't work I'll suck it up and talk to him. Thanks again!



    It's your fantasy that you are in a committed relationship. The takes time and living together ( sleeping in the same bed every night)/ sharing living expenses) . Your are just dating.