Will & Grace genre and "FAG-HAGS"

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  May 16, 2009 1:59 AM GMT

  Do you think that gay men need a woman best friend.....one that envelopes themselves in the gay culture and accept you...perhaps have your child in the future..be there when your heart gets broken----.tell me your thoughts as i think i need one.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

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  May 16, 2009 2:29 AM GMT

  I have a female best friend. And prior to her, I've usually had one. For a while she did spend quite a bit of time in gay culture, but she hates being referred to as a fag hag. In fact, I don't know many women who like that term.

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  May 16, 2009 2:40 AM GMT

  tereseus1 said

  
  Damn I wanna be her!!!
  
  No, I don't have a female friend, all my mates are straight guys

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  May 16, 2009 2:43 AM GMT

  lol--- no seriously im putting an ad on craigslist for a chick that loves gay guys as friends as i type this...preferably one thats into books and clothes like myself...mutual friendship as i dont know any women like that.

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  May 16, 2009 3:41 AM GMT

  Christian73 saidI have a female best friend. And prior to her, I've usually had one. For a while she did spend quite a bit of time in gay culture, but she hates being referred to as a fag hag. In fact, I don't know many women who like that term.

  
  
  Agreed.

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  May 16, 2009 5:41 AM GMT

  No, I don't think that gay men need a woman best friend. Honestly, I find fag hags annoying as hell.

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  May 16, 2009 6:18 AM GMT

  Generally woman are more accepting of gay men, so it is easy to attach oneself to a female friend.
  
  The first 4 ppl i came out to were all girls, and none whom i considered best friends, just accepting ppl.
  
  Now that i am done with school and only working, the only time i ever talk to a straight man is if i get a straight client, and not alot of them come to salons lol
  
  so in my case i only have gay male friends, and straight girlfriends because those are the ppl who i am around most the the time, wherever i go
  
  but no, no one "needs" a fag hag or whatever you want to call it.

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  May 16, 2009 6:24 AM GMT

  I hate to relegate a friendship with a woman as a 'fag hag' - it is fun to joke about it but I think it also demeans the worth of the friendship. I'm often happy that I didn't 'figure it out all out' until after I had built close straight (male and female) relationships.

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• gymguy81
  
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  May 16, 2009 6:47 AM GMT

  i have had an entorauge of fag hags its just way to much drama with them around i think. i rather hangin with str8 boys i mean im cool if a girl wants to hang and its fun to guy watchin with em but beyond that not much coman ground here

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  May 16, 2009 2:37 PM GMT

  I have some close female friends, but I wouldn't go as far to call them fag hags. I don't think we'd ever get in a mode as hysterical as the "will and grace" type of relation. actually my straight male friends are probably more "hags" than my female friends LOL.

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• rnch
  
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  May 16, 2009 2:57 PM GMT

  i have no problems with "grace" type of peeps....but the "jack" character makes me want to bitch-slap the sides of my tv everytime he's on screen.

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  May 16, 2009 3:01 PM GMT

  tereseus1 saidlol--- no seriously im putting an ad on craigslist for a chick that loves gay guys as friends as i type this...preferably one thats into books and clothes like myself...mutual friendship as i dont know any women like that.

  
  
  If the ad works, I'll take a Grace Adler...and maybe an Andra (from Boy Meets Boy)...

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  May 16, 2009 3:13 PM GMT

  Each to their own, I guess, but I can't see myself having a steady Fag Hag. Yeah, the term is derogatory, but sadly I've seen too many situations where the term actually fit. Grace from 'Will & Grace' was the exception to the rule for the most part. It's one thing when you go hang out with girl friends on occasion. But when the gay guy becomes a surrogate boyfriend for the girl because she can't land a straight boyfriend, hanging out together at all times, that's when it becomes all drama and altogether just creepy. Call me callous but I don't need the estrogen-laced emotional manipulations that come from being best friends with a woman in my life right now. I played the 'straight' card for most of my adult life. I lived through 14 years of marriage. I've had enough of that to last me the rest of my life. For now I'll take the straight forward openness that comes from a guy--in my acquaintances, in my deeper friendships, and especially in my lover.

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  May 16, 2009 3:24 PM GMT

  scottishwarrior said... I'll take the straight forward openness that comes from a guy--in my acquaintances, in my deeper friendships....

  
  
  Straight forward, open gay guys?
  
  May I please visit your planet?
  
  

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  May 16, 2009 3:36 PM GMT

  I wonder if the acquisition of a female friend is to prove to one's gay self that gay is not all that I am? That I can get along with the opposite sex, even if I have no sexual interest in it?
  
  Or is there also an element of femininity that attracts us? Some of us want to be faux girls, so we hang around with girls. I remember playing with girls a great deal when I was very young, 5 to roughly 10.
  
  I don't have a woman best friend today, but I do have a good female friend, who's a lesbian. My best friends, though, are all gay men. I respect women, but I understand & relate to men best.

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  May 16, 2009 3:45 PM GMT

  Beaux said

  tereseus1 saidlol--- no seriously im putting an ad on craigslist for a chick that loves gay guys as friends as i type this...preferably one thats into books and clothes like myself...mutual friendship as i dont know any women like that.

  
  
  If the ad works, I'll take a Grace Adler...and maybe an Andra (from Boy Meets Boy)...

  
  
  

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  May 16, 2009 4:00 PM GMT

  Hah hah.
  As they say on daytime TV, 'You Go', GS!
  
  
  PS: I wonder if Shannon Dougherty was unavailable for the Debbie Gibson role in MegaShark vs. Giant Squid?...Octopus, whatever.
  Damn she would have been great.

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• imperator
  
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  May 16, 2009 7:21 PM GMT

  I have women friends and I respect women, but do I feel it necessary for me as a gay man to have a "fag hag?" No, not in the least. Just because I'm a gay man, what special female insights or vagina-imbued powers do I need to have provided by a female cohort? Bait to lure 'straight' guys? Fashion advice? Sympathetic counsel? All of those are just women-as-male-accessories stereotypes anyway, they presume too much about the characteristics of the sexes (including that on our own we're somehow "incomplete"), and I'm not about to go scouting out for friends with a grocery list of stereotypes in-hand; besides which, of those stereotypes the first is tacky and dysfunctional, the second is unneeded, and the last I get in spades, mostly from my gay male best friend but also from a couple of straight male friends.
  
  When it comes to discussing issues having to do with my gender and with sex, frankly, if I want to talk about my guy things I mostly talk to my guy friends (gay and straight) and if I want to talk about my gay things I mostly talk to my gay friends (male and female). But while I get along alright with plenty of straight women-- and I reserve a special, feminist concern for their social/political issues (ie. misogyny, patriarchy, sexism, homophobia, and so on) as they also pertain to my self-interest-- they tend to be the friends I feel I have the least in common with, besides an appreciation for men.

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