www.textsfromlastnight.com

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 18, 2009 10:26 PM GMT
    Seriously, boys, if you haven't visited this site yet, you need to.

    icon_lol.gif

    http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/
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    May 18, 2009 10:34 PM GMT
    (914): im gay
    (203): i know
    (914): yea but for you.

    ...

    (305): Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.

    ...

    (404): I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period

    ...

    (970): I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now


    funny pictures


    icon_lol.gif
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    May 18, 2009 11:05 PM GMT
    (215): I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
    (717): Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?


    When it comes to grilled sandwiches, I usually can only hold out for 10 hours, tops.
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    May 18, 2009 11:09 PM GMT
    aerovaulter said(215): I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
    (717): Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?


    When it comes to grilled sandwiches, I usually can only hold out for 10 hours, tops.


    Lack of willpower...

    My favorite...

    I may not go down in history but I WILL go down on your little sister
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    May 18, 2009 11:12 PM GMT
    (919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

    (214): dude. I'm so drunk.
    (972): pete, this is bryce's mom
    (214): I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
    (972): pete, this is still bryce's mom
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    May 18, 2009 11:18 PM GMT
    Lostboy said(919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.


    OMG!icon_lol.gifI probably would have gotten out of the car and taken the pine cone home to domesticate it.
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    May 18, 2009 11:20 PM GMT
    TheIStrat saidSeriously, boys, if you haven't visited this site yet, you need to.

    icon_lol.gif

    http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/


    IStrat you rock for posting this! The roommate introduced me to this last week and I haven't been able to make it through a day without checking out the new stuff! Good post, love it!
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    May 18, 2009 11:30 PM GMT
    (443): So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
    (443): It breaks. We fall.
    (443): I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 18, 2009 11:40 PM GMT
    (281): How do you jack off and text at the same time?
    (1-281): On my iPhone they have an app for that

    hehehehehehehehehehehehehe icon_biggrin.gif I like dat one icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 18, 2009 11:43 PM GMT
    (757): margs and chips and queso make the world go round
    (1-757): well and inertia


    AHAHA. It's even funnier because I'm eating chips and queso (ala Cal Tor) at the moment.
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    May 18, 2009 11:45 PM GMT
    (925): i think i just met the girl of my dreams. someone made a serious statement about rape and she said "pish posh, i love surprise sex"

    ROTFLMAO icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 18, 2009 11:47 PM GMT
    (847): I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
    (1-847): How was it?
    (847): Fantastic, but that's not the point.



    (512): i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 18, 2009 11:47 PM GMT
    (857): seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.

    I know exactly how he/she feels!
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    May 18, 2009 11:49 PM GMT
    (763): I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off

    (314): he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex

    (97icon_cool.gif: i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened

    (864): and the officer said have you been drinking
    (864): and i said NOO SIR.
    (864): and he said, I am a woman.

    /I love this site.
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    May 19, 2009 12:08 AM GMT
    (316): I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
    (785): He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.

    icon_twisted.gif noice!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2009 12:18 AM GMT
    This is def in the top 10 websites of all time
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2009 12:35 AM GMT
    (813): i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it

    How deliciously evil icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2009 12:35 AM GMT
    Oh, I so gotta add these onto an LOLcat pic... icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 19, 2009 12:57 AM GMT
    (401): we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother

    heheehehe icon_biggrin.gif

    Certainly something for strat to think about :X
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    May 19, 2009 1:26 AM GMT
    Lostboy said(919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

    (214): dude. I'm so drunk.
    (972): pete, this is bryce's mom
    (214): I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
    (972): pete, this is still bryce's mom


    Both of these are my faves haha..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2009 1:35 AM GMT
    (770): cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
    (1-770): i said paris hilton
    (770): thats even worse

    (212): i want you now
    (916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this

    (434): ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl

    (216): Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
    (440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
    (216): Holy shit r u serious? How?
    (440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
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    May 19, 2009 1:41 AM GMT
    Funny stuff


    (262): When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
    (612): only room for one pussy in that bed.
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    May 19, 2009 1:44 AM GMT
    Freakyninjamonkey said(212): i want you now
    (916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this


    ROTFLMFAOPMS icon_biggrin.gif
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    May 19, 2009 2:47 AM GMT
    I actually have sympathy for this one. Then again, I wouldn't text it.

    (212): yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
    /I've been asked AFTER sex if I was circumcised.
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    May 19, 2009 3:20 AM GMT
    (734): just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"