Will you date a guy that are professionally, economically and socially below you?

  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    May 18, 2009 11:52 PM GMT
    Now that we discuss stuff about interracial , intergeneration..let look into this thing. Will you date a guy who is below you when it come to dollar and cent, education or social background.

    I personally have no problem with it. Eventhough I am a professional executive, I have date guy working as dishwasher, busboy, construction worker, foreign immigrant (that live in shanty town) , maintenance and even unemployed guy. However , none of this relationship ever work simply due to the fact we are very different and when the sexual, curiosity is gone and so do the relationship. I also have suspicion of why he is intersted with me. (especially if he is young and goodlooking).is it because he is interested with me or something else.

    How about you, guys?
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    May 19, 2009 12:28 AM GMT
    well.. if I didn't like it, I'd get no where..
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    May 19, 2009 12:46 AM GMT
    I'm a desperate virgin so yes, absolutely.
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    May 19, 2009 1:06 AM GMT
    I demand a family tree going back at least 5 generations on each side, a financial statement and at least one advanced degree before I´ll even do coffee.

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    May 19, 2009 6:49 AM GMT
    Mosdef...as long as da attitude, body and personal hygiene are in order, we should be a goicon_lol.gif I do not like arrogance, assholes or dudes who do not put GOD 1st, i am finding it really difficult to date, because a lot of kats are not GOD-fearing people. Most are looking 4 sex 1st, with nothing else to give.icon_eek.gif
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    May 19, 2009 6:55 AM GMT
    First I would have to find a guy to date, then I can nit-pick about his job. NOT! Beggars can't be choosers.
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    May 27, 2009 6:16 AM GMT
    Aorre saidI'm a desperate virgin so yes, absolutely.


    LMAO

    Wow.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 27, 2009 6:30 AM GMT
    All those things are subjectively viewed. Why is a doctor more professional than someone at a Burger King? Is money the sole indicator of wealth? Who is it to decide social strata and where we each fall? You love whom you love, and I think jobs, money, and status are awful ways to keep score.
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    May 27, 2009 7:59 AM GMT
    it depends on where he is in life, if he doesn't have a job, lost his job or in a bad situation but he's keep striving at it, then I'd say, cool, go for it, as long as he's not a bum. Guys who are rich, successful and good-looking, Aren't they usually pricks and full of themselves? icon_rolleyes.gificon_cool.gif
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    May 27, 2009 8:18 AM GMT
    zakariahzol saidNow that we discuss stuff about interracial , intergeneration..let look into this thing. Will you date a guy who is below you when it come to dollar and cent, education or social background.

    I personally have no problem with it. Eventhough I am a professional executive, I have date guy working as dishwasher, busboy, construction worker, foreign immigrant (that live in shanty town) , maintenance and even unemployed guy. However , none of this relationship ever work simply due to the fact we are very different and when the sexual, curiosity is gone and so do the relationship. I also have suspicion of why he is intersted with me. (especially if he is young and goodlooking).is it because he is interested with me or something else.

    How about you, guys?


    Should the guy who is young and good-looking be suspicious of your intentions? Could you be dating him mostly because of his youth and gorgeous looks?
  • Sparkycat

    Posts: 1064

    May 27, 2009 8:21 AM GMT
    Why do you think people with less money and education are "below you"? You might find someone "below you" to date if they have no self esteem and are willing to put up with your condescending attitude.
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    May 27, 2009 8:40 AM GMT
    Some good points here. I don't look at that type of stuff.. I'll take personality over "status" anyday.
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    May 27, 2009 9:05 AM GMT
    If we get along or there is chemistry of course!
  • emailaddress

    Posts: 313

    May 27, 2009 9:22 AM GMT
    no, money and jobs are not things i consider. But I do find myself clicking with well-educated, cultured, aspiring men more even they dont have the perfect body. guys with bulking muscles and have all the time in the world to workout and eat just ended up becoming short flings i would rather forget.
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    May 27, 2009 9:25 AM GMT
    zakariahzol saidNow that we discuss stuff about interracial , intergeneration..let look into this thing. Will you date a guy who is below you when it come to dollar and cent, education or social background.



    Just another version of the same question - substitute education/social background/employment status/etc, etc, etc for skin colour/race/age, etc, etc, etc. Same question - Same answer, personal preferences and perceptions come into play that is all. Do these things make any real difference in the success, or lack of, in any relationship, no, of course not but that depends on the individuals involved.
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    Jun 10, 2009 6:13 AM GMT
    I dont really base my choice in who i date based on bank account or what he can afford/can't afford....but I have been rejected based purely on economics once....here's the story.

    I meet this guy...he's cute, we're really into each other...met him at the gym on the way out...he held the door for me and conversation started from there. I told him what i do (recently graduated med student studying for my board exams)...he told me what he does (just to prolong the conversation)...a bit of flirting and we decide to meet for a proper date. Since the gym is walking distance from my house, i usually walk there. He told me his car's in the shop so i told him i'd pick him up since he lives close by.

    So....i go to pick him up...i drive up, he comes out and as soon as he sees the car he rolls his eyes, turns red wiht embarrasment and chuckles. After he gets in i'm like "what was that all about" and he's like "you're only 29 and you drive a _____ while i'm 35 and only drive a _____" And i'm like "ummm...okay"..First sign of something being awry. So we go out and for some reason, he keeps pointing out how I can afford so much more than him at "my age" and as much as i try to steer away from topic, he keeps coming back to it. So he manages to get past the money thing and the rest of the night is awesome. We talked for hours, split the bill, made out in the car right before i dropped him home...so it ended pretty ok i'd say.

    Next day, I get a text from him saying he'd rather not take things further because he thinks i'll want to "take care of him" and he doesn't like the feeling that "he wont be able to afford to date me" and i'm totally confused because the date was a movie and friggin pizzaria pizza, which I was happy with.

    Pissed me off...but the point is that while people think that dating a person that earns less is an issue at times, I guess one can also end up losing out because the have too much....so its not always how you feel abut it but how secure/insecure the other person is as well.

    Still pisses me off but its one of those things i guess.
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    Jun 10, 2009 6:18 AM GMT
    Yes and no.

    Professionally - as long as the guy is happy doing what he's doing, then I dont care what he does. My ex used to bitch and moan about his job and it annoyed me to no end.

    Economically - Im not going to support a guy but I dont care if he's a millionaire or not (Im not hahaha). As long as he can pay his way, then it's all good.

    Education - I have a PhD, I dont expect my partner to have one. That being said, I tend not to have much in common with guys who havent been to college/university because they dont understand what it is I do or why I would spend 8 years studying. My ex never got it ("Why cant you come out tonight?" "Because Im writing my thesis").
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    Jun 20, 2009 11:13 PM GMT
    calibro saidAll those things are subjectively viewed. Why is a doctor more professional than someone at a Burger King? Is money the sole indicator of wealth? Who is it to decide social strata and where we each fall? You love whom you love, and I think jobs, money, and status are awful ways to keep score.


    Nicely said.
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    Jun 20, 2009 11:33 PM GMT
    I don't feel other people are "below" me. Or above me, for that matter.

    I don't care if he has money or not.

    I don't care what he does for a living, as long as it's honorable and productive.

    An educated person is a relative term; I know exceptionally bright, articulate and extremely productive people who dropped out of high school -- and Ph.D's who are astonishingly obtuse. You can't measure the degree of someone's intelligence by a degree.

    Social background? Who cares?

    Give me someone kind, loving, thoughtful, stable, reliable, and okay -- cute --and that's plenty.


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    Jun 20, 2009 11:41 PM GMT
    Having a Ph.D., that practically describes all my relationships. :p
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    Jun 20, 2009 11:46 PM GMT
    Lostboy saidI demand a family tree going back at least 5 generations on each side, a financial statement and at least one advanced degree before I´ll even do coffee.

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    Before coffee ... you mean before even saying hello icon_razz.gif
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    Jun 20, 2009 11:47 PM GMT
    Stable and able counts. Being materially or status centric seems... well you decide.
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    Jun 20, 2009 11:49 PM GMT
    interesting : i know some phds who still cannot differentiate between your and you're

    money doesn't count with me. a bit of education however does.
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    Jun 20, 2009 11:58 PM GMT
    I don't think any of those are a prerequisite. In other words, any one of them would not disqualify someone from my interest.

    I think the outlook for the future is perhaps more important. It's not where you are, but where you are going in life.
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    Jun 21, 2009 12:10 AM GMT
    As unenlightened as it sounds, I do need somebody with a similar socio-economic background as I because I need somebody with a similar world view. The bigger issue for me is that its hard to find another gay Jewish guy so although socio-economics are important, I would rather find somebody awesome and Jewish (or willing to convert).