I feel like a minority in the gay world..

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2007 6:50 PM GMT
    Am I the only guy on earth that actually wants a relationship? I am still the hopeless romantic type and I can't change that. I feel like every gay guy just wants sex lol.

    Is this your experience as well? I don't want to settle for hook ups, not my style. Maybe there is some nice Mr. Right out there somewhere haha, but all I seem to across are Mr. Right Now's.
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    Nov 09, 2007 6:55 PM GMT
    What are you doing to ensure that you find your happiness? Are you bathing regularly? Brushing your teeth? Wearing your prettiest dress?
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    Nov 09, 2007 6:57 PM GMT
    For once i agree with Hippie.
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    Nov 09, 2007 7:03 PM GMT
    Hear hear! But at least you're young. Seems the older you get, the fewer the available guys who aren't totally damaged goods (little dents and scratches are okay).
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    Nov 09, 2007 7:16 PM GMT
    i guess that is true rugger, but on the flip side I think the older you are, the guys you go out with are hopefully more mature and ready to be more serious about something more than fucking.
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    Nov 09, 2007 7:17 PM GMT
    Well...I'll put it this way the only reason why I wanna just hook -up because I know for a fact thats all the other guy wants to do. I mean come on we are on a hook-up site. Based upon men with great bodies and that care about their health. That right there should tell you, many guys on here are fat and over wight looking for a quick pice of cake.icon_evil.gif It makes me mad but I know its gonna happen I won't find I great guy either. I get hit on by old fat men all the time online and I don't know why.
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    Nov 09, 2007 7:19 PM GMT
    I most definitely do not consider this a hookup site. I doubt most of us who post to forums do.
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    Nov 09, 2007 7:31 PM GMT
    You get into a relationship because you are at point in your spiritual development where you want to GIVE. I you want to take...and your buddy is the same way you can see why most realtionships don't work. So its better to have friends to hang with and fuckbuds for sex.
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    Nov 09, 2007 7:43 PM GMT
    I don't see this as a hook up site either, it is an online community for gays with a bent on sports/nutrition, etc. I mean sure you could use it to network so that includes friends, hook ups, dating, or whatever but I don't think it was created as a hook up site like manhunt.
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    Nov 09, 2007 7:58 PM GMT
    personally, i dont' know that many single guys looking for hook up. when u r single, every sexual encounter is a dream that it'll lead somewhere. and those looking for hook up are those who are in a relationship, married guys, or guys who gave up on relationship. they want NSA.
  • jc_online

    Posts: 487

    Nov 09, 2007 8:00 PM GMT
    If this were just a hookup site, I wouldn't be here. icon_confused.gif
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    Nov 09, 2007 8:24 PM GMT
    Me too. I came for the chicks, yo.
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    Nov 09, 2007 8:27 PM GMT
    This is definitely not a hook up site. That's why this is my absolutely favorite site for gay men (and a growing straight community too).

    It's hard hippie. I have always been more relationship oriented and finding someone who is also in the same place is much more difficult than just grabbing a quick hook up. Huge romantic here too. It just takes a little more diligence, a LOT of patience, and tons of dating. You have to weed through all the hook up guys, so to speak, to find what you are looking for.

    Keeping an eye on where you are trying to meet guys, though; can increase your chances a little. Club/bar guys are definitely a higher percentage of hook up only guys. Although they are there too. I go out every once and a while for a good time, play some pool, and hang out with some buddies.

    Best relationships I have had are people I met through friends or common interest groups (like a gay softball team, kickball team, book groups, advocacy, etc...). Whatever floats your boat.

    Just don't get discouraged. I know tons of guys that are in the same situation as you.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2007 8:46 PM GMT
    NOT A HOOK-UP site (there are those who can turn anything into one - but overall, this is not one)

    Hippie - I fall somewhere in between. I don't want a relationship, nor do I want to hookup. I guess that makes me a bit of a hermit icon_wink.gif
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    Nov 09, 2007 9:04 PM GMT
    me too .. I just enjoy being in a community that's it..

    well hippie, I'm an extremely romantic guy too .. that's why I don't fit in the gay community (or in the real world ..) ... so I just go with the flow until I find Mr. Right and the perfect love ...
    I'm sure you'll find someone who doesn't want only sex.. I think it depends on the place and the way you meet ....
    for example if you meet someone in the showers of a gym isn't like meeting someone in a library or a park..think about it ! I know it's hard to meet a gay guy outside of gay places .. but that's what the gaydar is for, to find Mr. Right in the right place and the right situation ..
    good luck for you and me!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2007 9:10 PM GMT
    Hook ups= BAD!!!!

    http://www.realjock.com/topic/52459/

  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Nov 09, 2007 9:18 PM GMT
    you are definitely not a minority...however, not everyone knows HOW to keep a relationship going over the long term...people [straights and gays] learn those lessons in their own time...

    First lesson: Patience [I hate this one].

    - David
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2007 9:19 PM GMT
    ditto
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2007 9:23 PM GMT
    No man.

    Lots of gay / bi folks have difficulty with relationships.

    It starts with the fact they don't like themselves and keeps going from there. There are a number of factors at work, but, most of the time, it's the enemy within.

    They have a defense mechanism called NSA (No Strings Attached). It's their convoluted way of asserting control, while protecting themselves in their lives.

    Big red flags: dishonesty, pictureless, profileless, and the like. If a person is dishonest in cyberspace, they'll be even worse in real space.

    Only thing you can do is keep your eyes open; set some rules (don't put up with dip shits), and hope for the best.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16305

    Nov 09, 2007 9:43 PM GMT
    I would assess where you are meeting these dudes. There are others that may want friendship or a relationship.. so long as they aren't needy.
  • calipally

    Posts: 246

    Nov 09, 2007 10:48 PM GMT
    I don't think hook-ups are bad if that's what you want. It doesn't matter whether you're gay or straight, sexuality is an individual thing. If you want a relationship, then seek-out those who are on the same page. If you're not in the right frame of mind to be in a relationship but you need some physical interaction (which, by the way, is completely natural and normal), then have fun. Just be safe and be honest.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2007 11:14 PM GMT
    pdxpally doesn't look a day over 30.

    How about some NSA good times, PDX?

    Just kidding.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 10, 2007 1:35 AM GMT
    peter i didn't know there was a growing straight population on here, thats pretty open minded and cool though.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 10, 2007 1:54 AM GMT
    Tommorow always comes after right now.

    If right now turns out well enough, then you might still be with the same person tommorow and the day after.

    Do you look for a new car without a testdrive? Apply the same to guys. You never know, that one night thing could turn into a lifetime together.

  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Nov 10, 2007 2:13 AM GMT
    hippie4lyfe - you're not alone

    I think I may be an oddity, too. I had one random hook-up with a guy, that's all. Everything else has been either relationships or quasi-relationships with guys I was close to.