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read this, tonight i said to my str8 friend this by sms :

ME: i'm confused

HIM: why?

ME: i'm in love

HIM: with who?

ME: guess

HIM: i don't know you tell me?

ME:you

HIM:but i'm not gay unfortunately .if i were i might b in love with u as well ,i think

ME:i think you love me too

HIM:well, yes but not physically ,my friend.I like stupid
woman

What you think guys , about it?


ps read this :

last friday we talked a lots and very deeply
and i told him i think i gonna stay all my life alone without bf
and his answer was :but you got me ,i always be there for you...
and then i share his bed that night for the first time....

Well, he said this, "but i'm not gay unfortunately .if i were i might b in love with u as well ,i think"
and then....
"ME:i think you love me too"

...which I probably wouldn't have said. Of course he does love you, as a friend, a bro; platonically. For a straight guy, kissing another guy is likely as exciting as kissing his Dad..


Go for something with potential - another gay man.


-Doug of meninlove

I thought that was pretty bloody obvious.. you can't read anything more into it

He's a mate..

Or was..

I wouldn't be surprised if you two drift apart

Awkward for the win.

Move on...

ucla_matta saidAwkward for the win.

second the awkward. it happens, don't dwell on it. move on

Move on: run in the other direction. It's pretty much a given that nothing will ever happen.

Oh for the love of fucking Christ.

Why would you do that to your friend?

Staright friends are the worst, lol.

just move on, he can't give you want you want.

Find a guy who will make YOU HAPPY.

I think you should stay friends with him. You never know when he might change his mind. Plus, lots of straight guys are curious.

I think there is not much to be said about this, besides: he's straight. And from that conclusions can be made.

On the other hand, and I say this as someone prone to fall in love with straight friends, it need not be a drama. Perhaps everyone is different, but in my case I have always managed to transfer my romantic impulses towards straight friends to pure appreciation.

(Forgive for indulging in talking about my own experience...) Yes, the guys are hot, gorgeous, intelligent, friendly and have beautiful feelings, but it is to my disadvantage to be waiting for something that most likely will never happen and lose the opportunity to include them in my life with a friendship not only grounded in that which originally got us to click with one another, but also soaked in the appreciation that I have for them which usually means they are more at ease sharing with me because there is very little abrasiveness or "edge" between us; which sets the base for honest and trustful exchange. The perspective from which I see them allows me to always see them in a positive light and people do appreciate being appreciated these days and like to reciprocate realistically.

These days, both of the friends I fell for some years ago are very dear friends of mine, both of them know I used to have a crush on them and interestingly, both of them still take that as a compliment and are comfortable hearing about my gayness-related-stories and even giving me their share of advice (seems like certain issues are universal as far as relationships goes) and sharing about what we do and where we go in general. I do love them both, and they know it. So well, that's how things have been for me and how I managed them.

You get to decide how you go about this. Perhaps a bit of withdrawal from too much interaction from a while, perhaps the opossite. Perhaps you want to cool down things, perhaps you think you can re-channel your feelings, etc. You know how you feel and what's best in your case of straight-man-(those bastards!)-loving syndrome. Good luck

I GONNA STAY FRIEND WITH HIM IF HE WANT
BUT I FEEL LIKE HE GONNA RUN AWAY
I SHOULDN't LET HIM KNOW .....
NOW I LOSE A FRIEND MAYBE

HEY
THANKS GUYS FOR YOUR ANSWER
BUT I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM BECAUSE HE IS STR8

JUST FOR WHO HE IS......
NOT ABOUT THE STR8 THINGS LOL!

he loves you, but not in an intimate way. you have to accept his words for what they are, unless he makes a move, which he won't because he's straight. that's just my advice, having had straight guy friends tell me the same thing over and over.

Yeah I'm pretty sure this happens to a lot of people at least once. Happened to me- told him I was gay, he was fine with it but I could never hang around with him anymore it was too wierd. It sucks but it's just part of life.

Yeah, you love him for who he is. That is what love is. But he won't love you back.

one thing
last friday we talked a lots
and i told him i think i gonna stay all my life alone without bf
and his answer was :but you got me ,i always be there for you...
and then i share his bed that night for the first time....

rockerr saidone thing
last friday we talked a lots
and i told him i think i gonna stay all my life alone without bf
and his answer was :but you got me ,i always be there for you...
and then i share his bed that night for the first time....

HAHA why do these discussions always sound like soap operas. Wish my experience was that exciting. This was my conversation.
Me:
"I don't like girls- know what I mean?"
Him:
"That's cool I won't think of you any differently."
Me:
"Thank you"

You're doing a swell job of meeting your recruitment numbers. Kudos!

Seriously, what were you thinking? You know he's str8t and you drop this bomb onn him. Seems kind of selfish if you ask me. Your confession has changed everything...prolly. You have found out that confession is not always good for the soul.

I hope you two can navigate past this and still be friends. Good Luck!

In college I once came out to a H20-polo teammate. I was so intensely into him - and let him know it. He was so frickin' hot - and straight as a string. How insipid I was at 20 - I thought I was hot enough to turn him. Big mistake. He hardly ever spoke to me again. Blunt confession is not always the way to go. Tact and discretion are better than brutal honesty sometimes. Lesson learned.

Now really rockerr, you try my patience -


NOW you tell us, "one thing
last friday we talked a lots
and i told him i think i gonna stay all my life alone without bf
and his answer was :but you got me ,i always be there for you...
and then i share his bed that night for the first time...."


Next we're going to hear about what you two did in bed?

You really should have mentioned this little 'last friday' tidbit on your initial post.

So now the guy's BI and not straight?



-Doug

I could feel the awkwardness as I read the OP.

Give him time. This exact same situation happened to me. A disconnected year after my straight friend became aware of my feelings toward him; HE started asking me a lot of questions about Bisexuality and how would i feel if he was bisexual. By this time, however, my feelings for him were tamed. We moved in together as roommates. I never saw much of him because i had a very active social life at that time. He started developing 'odd' habits. Working out and taking steroids, things outside his nature. Soon he became volatile. He made his own gay friends and would bare some animosity toward me because i didn't give him much attention. He would even give me a ride to the club shirtless - insinuating 'look at what your missing out on at home.' LOL I left it the way it was. I loved him and he cared about me, but in the end we remained acquaintances.

You need to respect (all) your friend's sexuality.

mmm did he already knew you gay? If you felt like telling him tell him! Doesn't sound like the dangerous type. We all just don't want to see you dead on the news. Gays got killed over stuff like this.Just don't talk about your sex life.

I think your feelings for this guy are about to ruin an otherwise awesome friendship.

A thread about falling in love with a straight guy. I have never heard or seen a thread like this before.

Good God, Man...just enjoy his friendship...

when I told my best friend in High School that I was gay...he asked "were you ever attracted to me?"...and I said 'yes"...

...he replied with "Good. Just want to know that I am attractive to both sexes"...

...definitely did not make him gay...and I didn't continue banging my head against a brick wall hoping for something that wasn't there...be glad you have a friend who is comfortable with who you are...

- David

... and I just read through this after reading dancerjack and the poor stripper drama. My goodness, I really appreciate my life so much more now. Thanks you guys.
Jesus, isn't there something more worthwhile you can throw all this energy and emotion into?

I have several great straight friends that at one time or another I was attracted to. I always kept my feelings in check as my friendship for them is more important.

I can say I love them, and they would say they love me. I have been in their weddings and have been there for funerals of their parents and the birth of their children.

I hope you can keep this friend, I think he appreciates you, but if you keep pushing a relationship agenda on him he may have to pull away. It really is not fair to him. Be thankful you have a friend who loves you and that sex will not complicate the relationship.

hmm i read the later posts. It seems some of these people don't understand that you are in LOVE. Being in love, it means you can't think of anything else but him. Its a feeling so deep - you feel like you have to let it out and you feel that if you don't tell him you will regret it. Honesty is the best thing man, you can tell him how you feel and where you stand. Don't assume that he will feel the same way. Take it for what it is. Love is a harsh thing, check this out:

'Paso un vez el Amor le pregunto a la Amistad; para que existes tu? Si ya existo yo. Y la Amistad contesto: Para dejar un sonrisa - donde tu dejas un lagrima.'

TRANSLATION: 'It happened once upon a time that the personification of Love asked the personification of Friendship; For what reason do you exist, If I exist? And Friendship responded: To leave a smile in the wake of every tear that YOU leave behind.'

It sounds better in spanish. but you get the idea.
-Santos

Was there before. And the only real advice is to forget about him ASAP.

Respect his sexuality, and you do realize that pursuing this will end your friendship don't you? You are forcing him to choose, and the answer will always be NO.

He can NEVER ever return your feelings, no matter what you do. What you need is a bucket of cold water... and a new crush.

If you really love this guy you owe it to yourself to grow up and find other men to focus on in your love life
He tried to tell you in the best way possible that he's not attracted to men
This is the same as if a really close female friend of yours suddenly came up to you said announced her undying love
By doing this you placed your friendship with this guy into trouble
There is now a big elephant in the room whenever you get together
Is he going to be able to forget about it and move on?
Who knows
You're going to have to wait and see

Pinny saidA thread about falling in love with a straight guy. I have never heard or seen a thread like this before.

Is this what set JP off or do you think he hasn't yet read it?
*hunkers down*

Is this a fake posting? Are we being hosed again? Hmmmm... let's see... no photo, not verified and only 4 posts. Smells like hose to me.

If it's all true then go out and buy the t-shirt that says "I'm not gay but my boyfriend is" and give it to him as a gift.

I've been there before, except for the telling my true feelings part. I just suffered in silence. It was a long time ago. Life goes on.

(sigh!)

there´s so much to learn from this thread.

ur GAY, but ur pursuing a str8 dude i'm confused somebody is lying

Medic911 saidI'm actually really embarrassed for you.

WHY would you ever do that to a friend? That's not fair to him.


Play it cool, stop sharing his bed with him and enjoy your FRIENDSHIP with him (if there even still is one).

Awkward for the lose. You should have been happy to have a friend. You crossed a line, trying to turn your friendship into something romantic. If you keep it up you'll lose your friendship.

OMG!! HE IS SOOOO DAMNED CONFUSED IT SEEMS..I SUGGEST U MOVE ON.. BECAUSE HE WILL NEVER BE COMFORTABLE BEING WITH U... BUT HIM TELLING U HE LOVES U ALSO...IS KIND OF WEIRD... IVE BEEN IN THIS BEFORE.. THEN WE GOT TOGETHER... AND HE WENT "STRAIGHT" AGAIN BECAUSE HE THOUGHT PEOPLE WERE GOING TO "FIND OUT"... ITS NOT WORTH YOUR TIME.. BUT IF OUR CULTURE WAS MORE OPEN AND ACCEPTING.. HE WOULD ENGAGE...

I find the situation a mirror for the grammar in the OP. I mean, it sounds a lot more complex than it needs to be, but when you get to the end and figure it out, you see it doesn't really mean much.

ok... so i have been in the same situation before... except it was more complex... we are both in the United States Air Force... well i came out to him .... and then i hit on him.. he turned me down... then one night he confessed his love to me... he said that he wanted a relationship... he wasn't able to deal with the fact that he was in love with another guy... so he suppressed his feelings... i went away to houston with my BF at the time... he got a DWI... and now he is getting kicked out of the Air Force... so my assessment is that you should still try and be friends with him... and see where it goes... just donlt let him take advantage of your feelings or you as a person... so just be strong... and stay around.. you never know what could happen!!!!!

I was in love with my best friend when i was in denial of who I am and I think he caught on it really broke me when we weren't best friends anymore he was embarrassed to be my friend it sucks but keep the friendship it's something.

I was in love with my best straight friend and I think he gave me a couple of chances to "experiment". I wouldn't go near him. I felt certain it would ruin everything and I would be the one left wailing.

This isn't that complicated. When he said he loved you he probably meant it, but not in a physical way. You can have emotional love for someone and not have the need for physical love making. He cares about you, more like a brother than a lover. Take it for what it is worth and enjoy the relationship.

Ah you have yourself an emotional relationship there.

I had a mildly bi curious friend that I had an Emotional relationship with for years. He was very big on the you don't need a boyfriend you have me thing. He liked hugs, liked confiding in me things he'd never tell any of his girlfriends. And occasionally would tell me things on the lines of if he was bi he would move in with me and be happy. One day he called me really upset and said he wished he was because I made him feel special and when he was around me it was a feeling that no woman had ever given him.

this went on for years. It even got the point that he would blatantly flirt. Would ask me what would I do to him he ever let me spend the night in his bed and stuff like that. But he never followed through on any of it. And as soon as a chick would pop back up, it go back to him being emotionally dependent on me, but living a life with them.

As sweet as he could be some times, I had to grow up to understand I was cheating myself waiting for him.

I've mentioned it on here before, that he waited until I was in a serious relationship and call me a few months ago. Said he wanted to try it. He wanted to try being with me, he wanted to try sex and a relationship, even though he was married at the time. So clearly for the two of us, it was just too late. I had my bf, he had his wife.

but after that he began speaking very openly with me. He told me that he never wanted to even suggest anything because he was confused and he didn't want to hurt should he wake up one day and the feelings go away. He told me about times that I had spent the night and how he wanted to do stuff but for some reason decided not too. It was very enlightening.

I guess what you really have to ask yourself is, is it worth waiting for, the slight chance that he may have that sort of epiphany? Or would you rather live your life, and fall for someone who can love you back without the confusion?

Leave it alone...

meh back that train up. you don't want to end up alone. no one is so rich as to throw away or risk a friendship. You wont end up alone. Get this book "My Guy: A Gay Man's Guide to a Lasting Relationship". Changed my life and made me realize how strong of a person I really was and as a result my well then ex bf/idk what's really up anymore has been noticing and coming back around. He wants me back. He knows what he would be losing now. Not that he didn't but he appreciates me more than before. So many good things have come from this book.

mate Love your st8 friend as a mate.............dont loose your friendship......chasing str8 guys is a waste of time...you will get hurt...he will hurt over your lost relationship......thinkabout it..............keep him IN your life and treasure the intamacey as great mates.

your lucky to have him!

Don't sweat it dude. Keep your friendship with him. Be there for him and if he loves you he has said, he will be there for you as well.

your totally setting yourself up for a huge downfall..you gotta move on and find someone who will be with you in every which way two people in love should be.
Eventually hes gonna want to start a family with a wife, kids..and im also assuming hes in the closet..
So where is that gonna leave you along the way?

Dont waste your life holding on to someone who doesnt love you in that way..

Most gay guys are confused between a really good friend whos straight

what?
were you drunk? you were way to forward, tell him if you want but dont force him to be what you want.

"I think you love me too"

you mentioned some deep talk with him, where you said you would be alone forever (again were you drunk?), quit being so melodramatic!!! your reckless emotions are going to destroy your friendship

Just leave it alone. It doesn't sound like he's confused or anything, it just sounds like you two are good friends... Keep it that way, don't keep pressuring him about it.

He knows you're gay, and if he feels the same way and wants to "experiment" or be with a guy, you'll be the first dude he turns to. In the meantime just leave it alone, don't try to peruse it or pressure him, or you won't have him as a friend anymore.

Dang. Long history of falling for straight guys when I was a kid. It's a 10/90 thing at best near as i can tell. Most (90%+?) of dudes are straight. Don't even want a BJ from a dude. Then there is the rest of the crew. Yes we have all seen the married dudes on MH and CL trying to get some. Even smaller minority of the closeted 'mos. Straight guys don't convert (even for one night) w/good percentages. He's told ya already. Sorry man.

GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELF AND TURN OFF YOUR CAPS LOCK BECAUSE IT LOOKS STOOPUD

Finding people who love you is very rare and special.
He obviously does, but he isn't sexually into you. Don't compromise the friendship by pressuring him... lovers come and go, good friends are like gold.

dfrourke saidGood God, Man...just enjoy his friendship...

when I told my best friend in High School that I was gay...he asked "were you ever attracted to me?"...and I said 'yes"...

...he replied with "Good. Just want to know that I am attractive to both sexes"...

...definitely did not make him gay...and I didn't continue banging my head against a brick wall hoping for something that wasn't there...be glad you have a friend who is comfortable with who you are...

- David

Wow David that was so nice!

not easy to express love to a straight, and I think you better do not expect much, because I ever experienced anything like this, I liked my friend but he's straight, but in the end he just hate me because he knew that I was gay. not easy to express love to the straight