Dan Savages's The Kid-- is they anyone out there that has or plans to adopt? or would you even consider it?

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    May 25, 2009 1:04 AM GMT
    I just got done reading Dan Savages's "The Kid"
    A cute frank story about the process of adopting a child with his partner. Savage includes a lot of his well placed humor from growing up gay to committing etc. It was a great book- I read it in 3 days.

    So- Is there anyone who has actually done the adoption thing... ?
    Not that I am in any rush to do that(or even sure if I do?) - I thought I should educate myself of the possibility ...

    Even more-
    Do you even want kids? ever? why or why not?

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    May 25, 2009 3:46 AM GMT
    I definitely want a child. I'd even consider being a single dad.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 25, 2009 4:07 AM GMT
    kids are a must with me. i always dreamed of settling down with a guy, getting a dog, and having a bunch of rugrats around the house. i'd totally try to teach them the stuff my dad taught me, like how to throw a football, and then have my dad reteach them the correct way. that and whenever they come up asking for stuff, i can tell them to go ask their other father.

    but seriously, i just think there's something amazing to raising a child. it would be so awesome to watch my son grow up, take him to his first day of school, stay up during his first date, watch him graduate from college, and see him fall in love and start his own family.

    i don't have many deal breakers in relationships, but guys who dislike kids is definitely one. there's really few things more attractive than a guy who is good with kids.
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    May 25, 2009 4:14 AM GMT
    calibro saidkids are a must with me. i always dreamed of settling down with a guy, getting a dog, and having a bunch of rugrats around the house. i'd totally try to teach them the stuff my dad taught me, like how to throw a football, and then have my dad reteach them the correct way. that and whenever they come up asking for stuff, i can tell them to go ask their other father.

    but seriously, i just think there's something amazing to raising a child. it would be so awesome to watch my son grow up, take him to his first day of school, stay up during his first date, watch him graduate from college, and see him fall in love and start his own family.

    i don't have many deal breakers in relationships, but guys who dislike kids is definitely one. there's really few things more attractive than a guy who is good with kids.


    What if it was a girl? ?
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 25, 2009 4:18 AM GMT
    Drun said
    calibro said

    but seriously, i just think there's something amazing to raising a child. it would be so awesome to watch my son grow up, take him to his first day of school, stay up during his first date, watch him graduate from college, and see him fall in love and start his own family.


    What if it was a girl? ?


    I plan to adopt, and given the choice, I'd prefer to adopt a boy simply because I think I'd be better suited to raise a son.
  • bobrusso

    Posts: 18

    May 25, 2009 8:10 AM GMT
    My partner and I adopted 5. We wanted a large family since we both came from large extended families. Out oldest two are white and the younger 3 are African-American. Neither of our families have had major issues with the rainbow of skin tones with our families, but we discussed this WAY before we knew the kind of backgroung that the kids would be coming from. Eeach state has different rules for adopting. Texas is a fairly open state about gays adopting. I'll send you my contact info in a personal e-mail and we can talk more. We live in The Colony.
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    May 25, 2009 8:25 AM GMT
    I'm too young to adopt as of yet. I would really love to someday and asked the people I am out to if that was a possibility for me and everyone said that being a single gay man will cause me a lot of trouble when applying. I don't know if Canada and the States have widely different adoption law/regulations but I would assume they do so I only have a Canadian perspective. I will still try later on in life. I think if we are respectable, selfless, loving, financial able and mature adults, we should definitely bring the joy and work of raising children into our lives. They benefit our lives as much as we benefit theirs. (I just think some parents show be careful- we should be 'there' for them, they don't have to be 'there' for us- they are children- and not something to fill the void in our lives- that's a message for me too)

    Just watch some of these short videos from Depfox on youtube. A gay Californian couple with 2 adopted children. They are not the traditional family but they love one another, provide for 2 children and have created a family that works for them. I have left little comments under their videos and they respond back. I'm sure you could easily get a hold of them by asking for an email address and they would answer any of your questions. Their last video had them asking people to come out to a anit-Prop8 rally and show support and say hello!

    http://www.youtube.com/user/depfox
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    May 25, 2009 8:40 AM GMT
    Have a daughter -- best thing we ever did, even though she's teething and I'm exhausted. icon_smile.gif
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    May 25, 2009 12:14 PM GMT
    I think that's one of the great things about gays having babies ( whether is adopting or using an egg donor or whatever) , we are able to choose when the time is right and we are financially able to care for a child. There is no " Oops, I'm pregnant" so it's not a shock and then the worry about paying the bills that come along with a child.
    I would love to have kids eventually and the thought of being a single dad is becoming more appealing since I have yet to find a guy that is responsible enough to share that role with me.
  • ManinSTL

    Posts: 38

    May 25, 2009 1:18 PM GMT
    I have every intent on adopting and have some friends that have children either through adoption or other. There is nothing more important I think a person can do but pass on thier perspectives through raising children.

    Currently not in the position to do it on my own and feel the best way is through a commited relationship. If I was at the point financially I did not have to work I would adopt in a second.

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    May 26, 2009 12:44 AM GMT

    I have two kids from a previous marriage. My son is 11 and my daughter is 9. They are the most important people in my life. Raising them is hard work, but rewarding in so many ways. when I am with the kids I'm always learning more about who I am and what matters.

    If I were in a committed relationship with a guy, I would definitely consider adopting a couple of more kids. If my daughter had it her way, I would adopt tomorrow!