Bro's before Ho's?

  • dannyboy1101

    Posts: 977

    May 25, 2009 7:25 PM GMT
    Ok, so another topic mentioned this and I thought "really?" Maybe I'm in denial and if so, just say denial.

    Gay bars back in the day were for gays to actually meet before internet when acceptance levels were nil. And there could be sex involved.

    NOW... (skip to the bottom if you're not a reader)

    Are the gay bars only for singles to get sex? Some guys when coupled drop off the face of the earth and never go out. With my friends, almost all of them are coupled and they only go to these bars that are not that crowded, that they label "less pretentious," and where the beer is as cheap as the decor. I call that "boring." If I wanted that, I'd go to any straight bar on the street.

    If I'm the only single guy (which seems to be the pattern developing here), am I expected to go to the "pretentious" bar that has all the crowds and potential of new and old acquaintances, friends, dates, whatevers by myself? Am I the only one who goes to bars for the whole environment without expecting to get laid at the end of the night? I want to enjoy the environment and have my friends, coupled or not, there with me.

    At this stage of the game, I'm looking to find new dates, not throw darts. So many people write gay bars off as "That's where you go for sex." Well, people come online for sex AND dating AND beyond. How fair is it for one to pigeon-hole any forum?

    (****SKIP TO HERE IF IMPATIENT IN READING****)
    Long story short (too late), what am I supposed to do - hang with my friends until we go to our separate bars and seem isolated OR enjoy the company of my friends in their preferred environment and line the track for me to be the last single standing? FYI, bar rotation doesn't seem to be an option for them.
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    May 25, 2009 11:30 PM GMT
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 25, 2009 11:53 PM GMT
    Just as your friends are entitled to like their own hang outs, so are you. You shouldn't always be the one who compromises on where you'd like to go. Sometimes they should choose the place, and sometimes you should choose it. I think that's pretty fair.
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    May 26, 2009 4:22 AM GMT


    How about going to the bars you like on your own and make new friends there? That way you'll have friends that like the places you like, and still have your old pals to hang out with at their watering-holes.

    (Besides when you're by yourself at a bar or club you're more approachable to many of the shyer ones)icon_wink.gif
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    May 26, 2009 4:30 AM GMT
    Why do you have to make this into a false dichotomy? At times you can go with friends out to their bars, go with friends out to non-bars, or make a choice based on what you want to do and your own needs, separate from your friends needs.

    If you are grimacing as you go out with friends, then they know it and aren't having fun cause you are not. When it is all said and done, it is best to go out with a friendly disposition than going out with friends in a grumpy disposition. That's my armchair take on it.
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    May 26, 2009 4:31 AM GMT
    meninlove said

    (Besides when you're by yourself at a bar or club you're more approachable to many of the shyer ones)


    There merit in going solo to a bar. In a way, that is all about your own needs and putting yourself out there. This is a great option MenInLove. Thanks for the reminder.
  • triniboy

    Posts: 305

    May 26, 2009 4:42 AM GMT
    Your friends need to be a bit more flexible for you.
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    May 26, 2009 4:45 AM GMT
    Bro's before Ho's is the straight version.

    We are gay and thus use the gay version. All those who are gay repeat after me:

    "Bros before Mos"

    Bros (those "straight" and "platonic gay" friends) before Mos (potential boyfriends).

    Hopefully there is no confusion as MO stands for hoMOsexual.

    On another note:
    I totally didn't answer any of your questions did I?
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    May 26, 2009 5:02 AM GMT



    "Bros before Mos"


    ...now THAT deserves a copyright!

    Too cool....icon_wink.gif
  • dannyboy1101

    Posts: 977

    May 30, 2009 7:57 PM GMT
    meninlove said

    How about going to the bars you like on your own and make new friends there? That way you'll have friends that like the places you like, and still have your old pals to hang out with at their watering-holes.

    (Besides when you're by yourself at a bar or club you're more approachable to many of the shyer ones)icon_wink.gif


    I agree with this point, but I've also heard the other side of the fence that nobody would go to a popular gay bar by themselves unless they're new to the city or they're looking for one-night-only. I obviously am not new to the city, but I also don't need the o.n.o.
  • dannyboy1101

    Posts: 977

    May 30, 2009 8:01 PM GMT
    BradySF saidWhy do you have to make this into a false dichotomy? At times you can go with friends out to their bars, go with friends out to non-bars, or make a choice based on what you want to do and your own needs, separate from your friends needs.

    If you are grimacing as you go out with friends, then they know it and aren't having fun cause you are not. When it is all said and done, it is best to go out with a friendly disposition than going out with friends in a grumpy disposition. That's my armchair take on it.


    I don't think that I go out with a grimace, but I may go out and develop some gay sort of ADD when I'm in this place. Bars that make me grimace, I don't even enter.

    And you're right, it's not necessarily a true dichotomy, but weekends last for only so long, and that's the only time I really have to go out and live it up. I want each moment to have infinite value. icon_smile.gif
  • dannyboy1101

    Posts: 977

    May 30, 2009 8:01 PM GMT
    muchmorethanmuscle saidJust my two scents. If you go to bars dressed like a floozie, you'll be treated as such.

    man-whore.gif


    Damn, time to throw out that shirt with matching thong!