Another Little Boy kills Himself Because he was Taunted in School

  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    May 25, 2009 11:48 PM GMT
    A little boy in Springfield MA thought it was better to hang himself than go through the torment he was subjected to in school
    His mother had gone to the school many times over for help
    But no one did

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sara-whitman/11-year-old-kills-himself_b_185656.html

    and then one week later

    http://www.towleroad.com/2009/04/another-11yearold-commits-suicide-over-antigay-bullying.html

    This fucking pisses me off
    I hope the teachers and the parents of those little murderers never have another nights reat for the rest of their lives
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    May 25, 2009 11:53 PM GMT
    I am surprised that the school didnt take bullying of whatever nature seriously. I would like to hear their explanation.
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    May 26, 2009 12:01 AM GMT
    GQjock saidThis fucking pisses me off
    I hope the teachers and the parents of those little murderers never have another nights reat for the rest of their lives

    School administrators are almost never penalized for these cases. They'll claim to have followed procedures and not known this would happen, and are almost always let off the hook. They'll deny the parents ever told them, or that the charges weren't verified, their hands were tied. It's the same script over and over, and it works.

    As for the parents of the bullies, they'll be in denial. Either their kids didn't do it at all, or it wasn't that bad, just what kids do. And privately they'll rationalize that a gay kid deserved it, it was his parents' fault for not correcting his behavior, even if the kid wasn't even really gay at all. They'll believe what they need to believe in order to make their own kids guiltless in the matter.
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    May 26, 2009 2:03 AM GMT
    It is indeed horrible that young people are so miserable and fearful from the taunting that they kill themselves. My experience with suicide is that in so many cases someones sense of self worth is so degraded that they would rather die.

    There is another side to this also which I post about so much. In some of these cases, the young people may not even "identify" with Gay or may be totally heterosexual. Nevertheless, Gay is associated with such negativity that young people would rather die than be associated with it. And certainly there are those young people that DO identify with being Gay and DO understand that they are different and would rather die because society at large places such a stigma on "Gay"

    No one will convince me that all the anti-gay propaganda (currently with regard to marriage and other gay rights) has no effect on children. They are like sponges that soak up knowledge as well as prejudice against themselves and others. The people that perpetuate anti-gay language and notions bear responsibility for the children that suffer from the results of that prejudice.
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    May 26, 2009 2:04 AM GMT
    This will piss you off even more:


    http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/dekalb/stories/2009/05/20/jaheem_bully_school.html?cxntlid=homepage_tab_newstab
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    May 26, 2009 2:09 AM GMT
    So sad. Another precious life lost over something that easily could have been addressed. I hope all the leaders in charge at schools learn something from these tragic events. Though I remain skeptical...
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    May 26, 2009 2:17 AM GMT
    It is stories like these that have led me to work hard to address these issues through my volunteer work and to support organizations like GLSEN and Lambda Legal, among many others, like the local groups that address homophobia and bullying in my region. UGH. Truth is, I imagine, sad to say, that even more suicides are due to perceived or actual orientation bullying, but are failed to be reported by the parents of the deceased.
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    May 26, 2009 2:46 AM GMT
    It absolutely incenses me when I see something like this. And there are legislators in my state that had the absolute gall to vote against statewide anti bullying legislation because it gave protection to LGBT & questioning youth. Fortunately, the legislation passed. But more work has to be done. The parents of these kids should be held accountable because kids don't just pick this stuff up. They get from somewhere and parents' are kidding themselves if they think their kids don't do this. We have to get rid of this "As long as its not in my backyard" mentallity. As long as this continues (no child, straight, gay or otherwise perceived to be) should have to endure this kind of crap while they are in school.
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    May 26, 2009 3:01 AM GMT
    Photobucket


    Grief....
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    May 26, 2009 3:29 AM GMT
    It's horrible that he had no one to talk to, and even worse that his parents were doing what they could to stop it and the school did nothing. Just putting yourself in the parents role of that boy is shocking. icon_neutral.gif
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    May 26, 2009 3:46 AM GMT
    Caslon10874 saidI am surprised that the school didnt take bullying of whatever nature seriously. I would like to hear their explanation.


    The more I read the sicker I feel. I hope I'm missing something, but If I understand correctly, there are state bullying laws in MA, yet it's left up to each school to figure out a program to enforce the laws. What a mess.

    School Statements on the Deaths of Carl Walker-Hoover and Jaheem Herrera
    http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20090501-tows-school-bullying/20

    New Leadership Charter School officials visit Springfield mother whose son, 11, committed suicide after she said students bullied him
    http://www.masslive.com/news/index.ssf/2009/04/new_leadership_charter_school.html
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    May 26, 2009 3:49 AM GMT
    I remember 11. Not easy for me and most I am sure at this age dealing with feelings of who they are.

    Look how many of us here must of felt at that age?

    I am sure we wanted out...how many of you wanted to do such a thing.?

    ..if not then....maybe later. I do think so many don't get the help that is urgently needed in order to cope. I think this will soon be one thing I do get involved with soon and that will be to help others cope.

    Gay and of feelings at any age are not easy. The entire coming out process needs to be treated with respect and care. These are real people out there with real lives and issues.

    My hope is that if you or a friend is dealing with this...try to HOLD on. Time makes such a huge difference. It's just sad that there was no one their to hold and up lift this young boys hand.....icon_cry.gif
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    May 26, 2009 4:04 AM GMT
    Such a coincidence that this topic is presented in this forum as I'm in the midst of becoming a call line couselor for LGBTQ youth at risk for suicide.

    This is a classic example discussed in the training. Education personell are either way too dismissive of childrens' complaints for various reasons or don't know how to handle the and don't understand the weightiness of the matter.

    Whether this child was gay or not isn't the issue per se but more so that he was not given due process after he complained. It hurts that an 11 year old couldn't be happy and lost his young life.
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    May 26, 2009 4:43 AM GMT
    ssguy69 saidSuch a coincidence that this topic is presented in this forum as I'm in the midst of becoming a call line couselor for LGBTQ youth at risk for suicide.
    It is awesome that you are undertaking this. A very noble thing and a learning moment for adults to hear what young people are feeling and going through. A child's mind is the fruit and the mirror of the intent of the previous generation.
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    May 26, 2009 4:48 AM GMT
    Congrats, ssguy and I know you will do well.

    And I know my man mistic will teach the kids how to talk the bully's down and if that doesn't work he will teach them how to protect themselves...icon_cool.gif
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    May 26, 2009 4:55 AM GMT
    Thanks for the props. It's hard to take on the pain with the callers but also so rewarding to help.
  • InsatiableBlo...

    Posts: 442

    May 26, 2009 5:14 AM GMT
    See this is what happens when people lose respect for people who are "fem" or act different than the "norm". Everyone deserves respect to be themselves.
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    May 26, 2009 5:56 AM GMT
    Being an educator; especially one that lives under 2hours from Springfield, MA; one of the worst things that could happen is the loss of a student. Many people want to blame the schools for bullying and we do try our best to control and monitor it. Still, things get by. Some taunting happens away from staff ears, off school grounds, or while adults are otherwise disposed.

    We talk to students, reprimand them for improper behavior, role model for them but still they stray the path. We try to teach them tolerance and respect yet events like this happen again and again. Educators are fighting an up-hill battle with society demands, out of school conditioning and events that affect our students, economic down turns, minimal resources/ large student body, etc....

    This death bothers me greatly and is very tragic. Just the thought of losing one of mine chills me to the core. We all (inside and outside the walls of education) need to strive for a society where these horrible events don't take place.
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    May 26, 2009 6:20 AM GMT
    Where are da fukkin parentsicon_question.gificon_eek.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    May 26, 2009 10:49 AM GMT
    I know the schools cannot monitor the behavior of all kids all the time
    But the way they just dismiss bullying like "It's no My Job"

    These people are there TO educate
    When they see or hear that bullying is going on take the dam time to talk to the kids and teach them something

    and when a bully is identified
    call the fucker's parents and say Hey Low Life Smarten up and take care of your juvenile deliquent
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    May 26, 2009 4:52 PM GMT
    I wonder how fast bullying would stop if there was a law that allowed gay and lesbian kids to carry knives and hand guns for self-defence? Sadly I suspect there'd suddenly be much more tolerance...
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 26, 2009 5:07 PM GMT
    Thanks, Joey for bringing this to our attention.

    Very sad and it angers me. I was a little kid when I was in school... didn't get taunts like this, but did get picked on a bit... I love to see their reactions when I see the couple of guys who picked on me then.

    I can't imagine being in an environment when I got called, "faggot" and all sorts of other names... and my school do nothing. It has got to change.
    It can effect you so very much for the rest of your life.
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    May 26, 2009 5:12 PM GMT
    Ugh, another murder by homophobia. Still, I say all of this stems from the culture-wide belief that being gay is somehow inferior to being straight (of which the local and federal government supports by its laws and ruling against us).

    Anyway, stories like this are good reminders that while there's some light for gays, there's still much darkness to deal with.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    May 26, 2009 10:51 PM GMT
    The problem is that the kids who drove these boys to suicide are going to grow up .... Vote ... and have kids of their own

    The schools are the frontline in the battle against homophobia
    If we allow kids like this to do these things without consequences we are Never going to get anywhere as gay men and women

    And ... in fact if we keep silent we are going to back slide
  • jarhead5536

    Posts: 1348

    May 26, 2009 10:54 PM GMT
    Thirty or forty years from now, will our children look back and shake their heads in shame at what homophobes have done today? Certainly...