to what extent do you trust?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 11, 2007 7:01 PM GMT
    If you are in a monogoamous relationship and your partner is always on the internet and you know he has gone on sites such as gay.com and manhunt before because he says he is looking for friends to what extent do you put your trust and eventually is it just ignoring the inevitable and being niave? I know trust is very important in a relationship but is there a limit? Or should you trust the other person no matter where they are or what they are doing with anyone?
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Nov 11, 2007 8:43 PM GMT
    Going on Manhunt looking for friends?
    lol...why is that the only way they can be contacted now?
    Com-on my man you can go with your instincts on this one
    he's lookin for a reason and it ain't for friends
  • liftordie

    Posts: 823

    Nov 12, 2007 12:13 AM GMT
    it is not called friendhunt!! and did their tag line not used to be...GET ON and GET OFF !! ?? not that i would be a paying member now or nothing! lol
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    Nov 12, 2007 7:23 AM GMT
    Hmm. It might be an idea to return to using condoms in your "monogamous" relationship otherwise you may be getting a nasty surprise in the near future.
  • Kevin82

    Posts: 273

    Nov 12, 2007 8:22 AM GMT
    If your lover is your best friend and your best friend can't be satisfied with one lover then are you not a good friend for wanting your best friend all to yourself or are they a bad friend for not being able to have one lover?
    Sounds like a confusing situation. If I were in a monogomous relationship and my partner was online looking for more friends, I would be cool with it, and if I wasn't I would wonder why. It sounds like he's doing it right in front of you. Sometimes it doesn't matter what someone is doing in front of you or behind your back because you're going to have a pit feeling telling you if it is right or wrong. There shouldn't be too much you can't talk about with your partner, so find out. If they don't feel like talking then move on. Right?
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    Nov 12, 2007 10:45 AM GMT
    yes kevin i see what you mean.

    if your lover is your best friend but says he loves you like a friend but feels friendly like a lover when loving friendly is really friendly loving then surely you are not a friend in the way you are loving even though you love in a friendly way but are a friend loving a loving friend who feels friendly loving in a friendly kind of love friend way.....................icon_lol.gif
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Nov 12, 2007 11:36 AM GMT
    GQ hit it.

    I hate hearing guys in so called monogomous relationships complain about how the got an std or hiv. You should always protect yourself.

    hmmm looking for "friends" on hump dot net. Doubt it!
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    Nov 12, 2007 4:22 PM GMT
    I am sorry man, if he is using gay.com and manhunt. He is not looking for "friends" he is looking for "friends with benefits"

    I would ask him why he seeks friends on a site where 98.5% of the listings are people looking to get laid.

    There are LGBT social networking sites like this one, Glee.com, connexion.org, etc but ManHunt and Gay.com is for getting laid, or finding a signifcant other.

    I'd approach him about it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 12, 2007 4:23 PM GMT
    also, I think trust is important, but so is common respect, and I think that these are clear indicators something is up. I don't think you have anything to worry about by being upfront about it, and saying something is not kosher.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Nov 12, 2007 5:26 PM GMT
    I would tell my bf that I don't like him using those sites. If he wants to make friends, then there are other sites and ways to do that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 13, 2007 6:43 AM GMT
    I agree with most of what has been pointed out above, but one thing to add.

    Did you guys actually agree that "monogomous" what you were going to be? Is it a groundrule between you in your relationship?

    Reason I ask is that many guys just assume that their partner is going to be monogomous without actually discussing it with each other. If your relationship is solid and caring, you should be able to discuss things like this open and honestly.

    I would ask him about it and tell him how I felt.
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    Nov 13, 2007 7:49 AM GMT
    " ...to what extent do you trust?...I know trust is very important in a relationship but is there a limit? Or should you trust the other person no matter where they are or what they are doing with anyone?..."

    Good Question.

    I don't know. In your case I think GQJock and liftordie gave great advice.

    I recently found out my partner 'loaned' a friend several thousand EU for an 'emergency' and didn't tell me about it. The friend turned out to be one of his ex's.

    Occasion of our third really big fight about money (I was not angry that he loaned money to a friend, I was angry that he didn't tell me even after the fact).

    We are partners, I expect better communication than that.

    God I love make up sex.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2007 5:33 PM GMT
    TRUST... i think you answered that question when you placed this post bud. No one should... especially randoms from an online should be helping you determine if you can trust someone you love.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2007 5:49 PM GMT
    TRUST... i think you answered that question when you placed this post bud. No one should... especially randoms from an online site, be helping you determine if you can trust someone you love. im sure our insight, perspective etc can be helpful, but you know deep down how you feel.