I'll sum it up: gay people are used to entitlement, and the best of everything in terms of education, money, materials and homes. One thing money can not buy is lifetime companionship, quality or trust. We have caviar tastes on a hot dog budget - we are expecting very unrealistic types of guys based on porn models who are not gay, and then are deeply disappointed when in real life most of the gay men seen are 20 years older, 100 pounds fatter, and not at all close to the other qualities we had been expecting. When you've spent the last 10-20 years dreaming of this and almost brainwashing yourself, I do not think that you will ever be able to have a lasting relationship with anyone. The secret that straight men have is the women with them who force them to grow up. We do not have that. We can stay 15 year old girls for the rest of our lives and nobody can tell us anything. We do not have kids (usually) who also yank us out of this refusal to become grown men and again we stay in a place that is consumed with selfishness, anger, resentment towards other gay people who are guilty of the same things we ourselves do, and loneliness. The internet, interestingly, has only made this worse - rather than make it easier by 'taking the walls down' that prevented us from finding one another, it only has kept us isolated more than ever from each other - nobody is willing to move to where the other guy is, everyone has a very long laundry list of expectations that are black or white; either you fit the criteria or see ya later, and we are so cruel towards other gay men that I can understand why the majority of us want nothing to do with each other. So what we have are a lot of gay people who never want to meet each other, deeply dislike each other, and have stopped trying. Jerking off to straight 20 year old rugby players is expensive in terms of online memberships, but is a lot less rejecting, and you don't have to spend 15 years trying to find a guy who might meet 25% of the qualities you seek in a partner.
We never learned how to have relationships. It's always been, and always will be, all about our individual wants and needs. It's never been a partnership, an 'us'; we are too independent and that's a bad thing. Because when the chips fall, we say, 'well, too bad, I'm outta here, have a nice life'. We don't need each other. We can leave a decade-long relationship while the guy is at work, get our stuff and leave without ever saying a word. Deceit and anonymity - it's what helped spread HIV/AIDS throughout the gay male community like wildfire (considering we only make up 2% of the male population, think of how fast this virus rapidly spread) and it's also the same thing that kills our relationships and will prevent more than half of us from ever finding a relationship that will ever lead to anything close to marriage. We've been taught from day one that other people will hurt us for being who we are. We then learned after coming out that other gay people will also hurt us because they are hurt too - and the only way they feel better is to hurt someone else. Everything snowballs into assuming he is a liar and he is not to be trusted - that is assumed until proven otherwise. Healthy relationships, which we almost never see, are based on the opposite. But if we never see that as a rule, we will never practice that in real life.
To the guy who stated 'straight people do it too' - maybe, but straight people also have 95% more choices that we do, and their lives are widely accepted throughout society. Gay men have very little to no choices except in large cities that are becoming less and less affordable for most of us. If you don't have the money to live in the cities with the selection, you will not find the men. It's as simple as that.