To Entertain Relationships of Convenience?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 27, 2009 1:09 AM GMT

    So as more of my friends are getting into relationships (and leaving me off alone icon_sad.gif ...) I'm looking around and seeing that I actually do often meet decent guys that for the most part look "good on paper". They have their life together, employed, own car, own home, etc...But I don't get the "Butterflies" with them or don't really find that we have a lot in common, or they are not as masculine as I like, etc...

    But then there are the guys that I DO seem to have chemistry (more similar interests, attraction, etc) with but they are "flawed" in some way...ie: On Parole, Unemployed, License Suspended, Potential Cheaters, Alcoholics, Inconsistent, etc...so they are not good options either...

    So the question is: Have any of you gone into a "relationship of convenience" with a guy (you're available, he's available, let's get together) even though you may not have felt any "sparks" with the other person initially?

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    May 27, 2009 7:50 AM GMT
    No and I never would.

    Relationship of convenience=Settling, not dealing with being by yourself.

    I have already dealt with being by myself and am cool with that if that is my fate for the rest of my life, but it doesn't mean I will stop looking for my potential husband.
  • Sparkycat

    Posts: 1064

    May 27, 2009 8:18 AM GMT
    Is "relationship of convenience" the same as fuck buddy?
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    May 27, 2009 6:38 PM GMT
    Sparkycat saidIs "relationship of convenience" the same as fuck buddy?
    I'd dare ask that question myself.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 27, 2009 6:57 PM GMT
    How well do you get to know someone before you decide there are no sparks? It kind of seems to me like you go for someone you know isn't a long term prospect, almost self sabotage.
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    May 27, 2009 6:57 PM GMT
    ErikTaurean saidNo and I never would.

    Relationship of convenience=Settling, not dealing with being by yourself.

    I have already dealt with being by myself and am cool with that if that is my fate for the rest of my life, but it doesn't mean I will stop looking for my potential husband.


    This seems harsh to me.

    With regard to romance, one of my aunts likes the expression: "If you hear bells ringing... you need to get your ears checked."

    Consider that much of the world uses the "arranged marriage" approach very successfully, and in that situation two relative strangers come together with the hope that they will grow to love one another over time.

    If you start a relationship based on meaningful qualities rather than on "chemistry", there's a good chance chemistry will develop over time. IMO, meaningful qualities are a lot less likely to appear if they're not there up front.