Bedroom problem.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 27, 2009 5:23 PM GMT
    For the last two or three months I have been having issues with ejaculating during sex. I get an erection and am ready to come but them I loose it and go limp. A couple moths before that I was getting exertion headaches. The doctor said they are a combination cluster/migraine headache. The problem is they happened when I exercised or had se. It was so bad that I almost passed out. After a while the headache stayed continuously for about 2 months straight. Now I rarely have them but that is because I am on drugs for them. The ejaculation problem started before I went on the medicine. Sometimes I wonder if it is because I have been with my partner for 21 years and our sex life is the same thing more or less or if it is medical? I am making an appointment with my doctor. I am just curious to see if anyone else has heard of this. I wonder if it could is a pinched nerve causing my headaches and possibly my not being able to come. I appreciate any thoughts on this.
    Thanks depressed in Delaware

    P.S. I will have more on my profile soon including a picture when I find one I like.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 27, 2009 8:56 PM GMT
    Maybe it is your body's way of tellling you that it's bored with your sex life. Do you have this problem when you masturbate on your own?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 28, 2009 3:53 PM GMT
    If you can come while jerking off there is no plumbing issue.

    But, you also say "sometimes I wonder if it is because I have been with my partner for 21 years and our sex life is the same thing more or less or if it is medical?" which indicates that you know what the problem is.

    The problem is, you are not putting anything into it. If you are bored, why aren't you spicing it up? It doesn't take much to turn your sex life around 180. Get some cotton rope, tie the fucker up, and all the sudden your bedroom is an exciting place. Maybe the bedroom is the problem. Jump his bones in the kitchen, in the car, in a church parking lot. What ever you do, don't do what you have been doing. Your little brain may be telling you a little thrust thrust will make you squirt, but your body is telling you different.

    That said, go to the doctor to see if it is a plumbing problem. If it isn't and you tried the above it is time for therapy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 28, 2009 6:36 PM GMT
    it could be the headache issue and a pre-fear that one will strike from the blood rush of ejaculating and therefore you are unconciously holding back from ejaculating...

    it could be this just randomly happened once or twice because the mood was lost (or with no explanation) and now you are over thinking it and causing it to occur.

    it could be your "holding back" from ejaculating (perhaps to cum with ur partner) to the point of not being able too -- I've had the contractions doing that, but no ejaculate that then equated to not being able to or certainly not to the potency that seemed ready to um, eject icon_wink.gif

    but everybody is right, if jacking off shows no similar sign then it is likely not a physical issue.

    By the way:
    I used to have cluster headaches, they came on for no apparent reason, two asprin and they would subside for 4-6 hours and then I'd pop two more reg asprin... Just as they arrived and for no reason I can think of, they just stopped and that was the end of that - though the occurance of them lasted 3 months -- my guess would be, mine were realted to subconcious stress or supressed stress.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    May 29, 2009 11:00 AM GMT
    There can be a few things going on

    It's probably not a coincidence that the headaches preceded this problem
    You didn't say what the medication was that your Doc put you on
    and you didn't say if you have any problem ejaculating with masturbation

    Those facts will likely tell where you problem lies
    First - medications can cause erection and ejaculation problems
    Hypertension can also
    Headaches esp headaches like migraines can be endocrinologic in origin ejaculation also relies on this system .... namely the parasympathetic system

    and lastly if you are having no problem masturbation .... then the problem is a performance one