PROPER BALANCE: Knowing the difference between "gay interest" and a straight guy being friendly.....

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 28, 2009 5:34 PM GMT
    There is a very nice looking, friendly trainer at my gym. I was chatting with a gay friend yesterday there in the weight room and the trainer came by,
    went out of his way to ask me how my weekend was, huge smile on his face... and we had a nice, brief conversation.

    "Wow, he's hot for you", the gay friend said.

    The reality is, the trainer is very straight. He's a friendly guy and treats everybody with a friendly demeanor. He called me by name almost immediately after he started. I was a little surprised, but I just watched him with other members.

    Too many times (as I've mentioned in threads before).. gay guys get caught up on what they think is gay behavior.. but the reality is, they forget about
    very extraverted straight behavior. The trainer in this case is a real professional. He does his job very well... he's the kind we want in the gym.
    Always looking to help, no self arrogant behavior (we have a couple like that)... and friendly.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 28, 2009 5:37 PM GMT
    He's also on the job. Being friendly and personable to people at the gym is a way for him to get more business.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 28, 2009 5:39 PM GMT



    Man is this topic timely! Maybe even a tad overdue. Thanks Mr Kansan!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 28, 2009 5:43 PM GMT
    In my work, I'm friendly, approachable, and go out of my way to be genuinely engaging every single damned day. It's my job. It's not necessarily required, but it's good professionalism. If the 'oooh! He talked to you! He must be into you!' logic held true, that would mean I'm into old men, middle-aged women, and pre-teen girls, among others. Srsly...gay logic.....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 28, 2009 6:17 PM GMT
    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 28, 2009 7:05 PM GMT
    A corollary to this would be the gay trainer, who's also very friendly because it's his job and the way he naturally is, like this guy mentioned here. But who likewise might be misunderstood by both gay & straight gym goers as hitting on them. And maybe even more subject to those erroneous assumptions, if he's known to be gay.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 28, 2009 8:30 PM GMT
    Ah, but did he make eye contact with you for more than 2 seconds? And use a machine after you? Because those are all signs that he's completely into you.

    It usually seems that if a gay guy is interested in another guy with an orientation he's unsure of, he'll start analyzing shit out of everything the guy does. Eventually, he'll see what he wants to see rather than the reality of the situation. And then he'll announce it in a forum and go "what should I do???"

    And, as Red pointed out, the reverse can happen when a known gay guy is professional and friendly. Although in society today, if a homophobic man comes to the conclusion that said gay guy is hitting on him, then the consequences could be a bit more unwelcome icon_confused.gif.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 28, 2009 9:04 PM GMT
    If every guy who looked and smiled at me, called me by my first name, and was genuinely nice turned out to be gay, the world would die out in one generation because there would be no straight men left to repopulate it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 28, 2009 9:06 PM GMT
    Gosh I have a friendly demeanor at work all the time, I'm engaging and approachable. But just because I'm a pure homosexual; 100%. Does not mean i'm into that person and want to bed them.

    In the next hour and a half at 8:30 AM. I will be with my personal trainer, for an hour. Now I've been seeing this good looking straight young man for almost 6 years now, and we do engage in conversation. But......that because he too has a friendly demeanor and is engaging too.

    He knows I'm a homosexual, although never an issues, but he doesn't think I'm chatting him up. Just as when this nice looking young straight man at times can seem to touch me in an inter mate way, do I think he is touching me up, we have work closely together now for almost 6 years.

    But then I never really mix with homosexuals anymore, just non in my life other than my husbands, and I never have conversations, as the one you had. So all my mate but two are straight, and I do have some strong looking mates. But they are not nice to me because they wont too bed me, it's because I', have a friendly demeanor, I'm engaging approachable, and they trust me, as well feel safe with me to.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 28, 2009 9:11 PM GMT
    So you're saying those straight boys will NEVEr sleep with me? They're just friendly?

    (Runs home crying)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 28, 2009 9:33 PM GMT
    Timberoo saidHe's also on the job. Being friendly and personable to people at the gym is a way for him to get more business.

    Yep. Just like straight waiters who gays may feel are flirting with them. They're selling themselves to increase business (or tips)
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    May 28, 2009 10:44 PM GMT
    He knows where his bread is buttered .....
    Flashing a smile and making flirty comments GETS HIM CLIENTS !!

    <object width=">
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 29, 2009 6:46 AM GMT
    I follow one pretty good rule:

    Once I find out a guy is straight, all mental thoughts become deceased. I've never been one to pine after straight men.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    May 29, 2009 6:58 AM GMT
    I'm on the other side of the equation. I'm in a medical profession, and I'm attractive in person, (I don't photograph well if you looked.) I'm also very good at my job. Male patients want to shake my hand when they leave. I have problems with women who mistake my professional interest and attention with an attraction to them.

    Someone please start a thread about non-workplace confusion when str8ormaybenot guys appear to be interested. How the hell do you tell, without asking, and even then they might be shy and fibbing.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 29, 2009 7:05 AM GMT
    TheIStrat saidSo you're saying those straight boys will NEVEr sleep with me? They're just friendly?

    (Runs home crying)


    You'll never hear ME say that, I guarantee you.

    I've been very surprised at how straight a man can be and still I end up fucking him.

    Thing is, you never know WHICH ones it'll be. You just kinda have to let it happen when it does.

    (Or give him the proverbial six beers. Don't know if that one really works, or if it's only when two straight drunks get together.)
  • DrewT

    Posts: 1327

    May 29, 2009 7:06 AM GMT
    I agree! Straight men are straight men. I have a couple straight friends and that's all they are lol no matter how hot I think they are ;)