when do differences cross the line from stimulating and healthy to futile?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 28, 2009 10:24 PM GMT
    I'm emotive and expressive
    He's very stoic and near impossible to read

    The closer I get to someone the more I'm ruled by my feelings and my words become futile.

    We've known each other for 9 months, dating for 5. We're passed the honeymoon phase, now our ability to communicate and find accordance with one another is vital because we can't ride the wave of sex and pillow talk.

    Now we're trying to figure out how we REALLY fit into one another's lives, we are learning how to work with one another. It's my experience that differences can be wonderful if there is comfort where you overlap.

    I'm used to guys who effusively gush about their feelings for me or at least don't shy away from communicating their affections and commitment. When I hear "I love you and am committed to you" with a stone face, my life experience tells me he's lying. I can't tell if I "want" to believe him or if he really does feel those things. I'm not so deluded to think I know everything, I want to learn a new way of being while being true to me. I don't want to be that guy who needs constant preening and reassurance of love, I find that to be deplorable.

    But how do I know if I'm up against an insurmountable mountain which will be the wedge that drives us apart instead of the yin to my yang?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 28, 2009 10:31 PM GMT
    Love is blind as far as the eye can see~icon_lol.gif

    Has there been another type of outlet for his emotions to come through? Some people work with the facial expressions, some with physical labor, some with painting, writing, artistry. Have you ever tried looking for that? That could very well be a possibility!
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    May 28, 2009 10:33 PM GMT
    Once you get past the infatuation ... oh the sex was great stage
    You gotta find out if you're compatible OUT of bed
    Can't go by the opposites attract or we're so much alike stuff
    You have to find out if you like the same things outside of the bedroom

    Good way to do that is go on an over night trip
    Either you'll have found the love of your life or one of you will wind up dead

    icon_biggrin.gif Cheerio
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 29, 2009 2:44 AM GMT
    GQjock saidOnce you get past the infatuation ... oh the sex was great stage
    You gotta find out if you're compatible OUT of bed
    Can't go by the opposites attract or we're so much alike stuff
    You have to find out if you like the same things outside of the bedroom

    Good way to do that is go on an over night trip
    Either you'll have found the love of your life or one of you will wind up dead

    icon_biggrin.gif Cheerio


    OR, more like it, you'll just find that in some ways you click, and in other ways you don't. It would be great if your time together would lead to definitive answers, but my experience is there's an awful lot of gray in these things, and so few certainties...

    icon_sad.gif