This is what a loving partner is all about...

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    May 30, 2009 3:04 PM GMT
    Lately I've had an urge for tacos. I learned to love them during my 4 years in San Antonio, Texas. They were the Tex-Mex version, but I also had the authentic ones during many trips across the border into Mexico.

    Now my partner doesn't like Mexican food at all. He's second-generation Italian in the US, and that's the only food he really understands and cooks himself, and so we rarely eat Mexican food, like once a year in a restaurant for Cinco de Mayo. But I was mentioning to him how easy it would be to make tacos ourselves.

    This morning he went out by himself and bought all the ingredients, from the taco shell brand I had mentioned, to the mix, toppings & everything. He had thought at first they were just ground beef, but I explained there are special seasonings involved. He got every correct thing that a good taco needs.

    We may have them tonight, I dunno. Frankly I don't care about the fucking tacos: I can go to a Taco Bell if I need them that badly.

    The point is he made a special shopping trip just for me, and will do his best to prepare these things, he being the cook and not me, just because I happened to say I wanted some. Isn't this what a loving partner is all about?
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    May 30, 2009 3:20 PM GMT
    That's sweet.
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    May 30, 2009 3:47 PM GMT
    Christian73 saidThat's sweet.

    Isn't it? This is what partners do for each other, and why I wrote this. It has nothing to do with stupid tacos, obviously, but how partners care for each other.

    There is a beauty to gay relationships I have rarely seen among straights, though I know it can sometimes exist. More typically it's the wife who dotes on the husband, while he remains clueless, forever the little boy who goes from mother to wife, pampered and waited upon all his life.

    But the gay man more often both gives and takes. Yet I for one am astonished when anyone fusses over me, and does anything for me. I'd rather give than receive, an arrogant mark of dominance. Though gay in orientation, I am more straight in my independent attitude.
  • metta

    Posts: 39104

    May 30, 2009 3:55 PM GMT
    awww.....so where do you find one of those guys? ;)
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    May 30, 2009 4:03 PM GMT
    I love hearing things like this. Its absolutely not about tacos. Its not about where he is, its about where he wants to be and that is with you! The little things that he does for you are the most important because he does them without even thinking. He just knows to love you and acts on it. But this little story of yours shows something greater... it shows that he listens. He genuinely cares about what you say and what you like. That small thing is greater than any other thing in the world.- cherish it, many of us will never have that and already know it by now.

    I agree completely about certain men thou. The majority will fawn all over their girl until she is "theirs" and then they turn back into the pampered little selfish boy. I do have some buddies thou that will do anything for their girl and its pretty cool- that is- until its guy's night and he can't come chill....then its nothing but ugh....lol.

    Congrat's Red Vespa- he's a keeper!
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    May 30, 2009 4:04 PM GMT
    metta8 saidawww.....so where do you find one of those guys? ;)

    "It has to be damp." (Morticia Addams, in the second "Addams Family" movie)

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    May 30, 2009 4:15 PM GMT
    Taco's are my favorite meal ever!

    i like making other foods taste like tacos as well lol

    my favorite is my Taco Chicken which is a chicken breast covered in a salsa, with some taco seasoning on both sides, then some taco sauce on the top, and the last few minutes of it baking you put a piece of cheese over the top and let it melt yum icon_smile.gif

    i have also made taco meat loaf, taco rice.

    i dont remeber what my last idea was but i was gonna make something else taco flavored but i forgot :/ lol

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 30, 2009 4:21 PM GMT
    Tom,
    Absolutely it is... he put your desires ahead of his own. I've had that sort of thing done for me...actually my bf stopped off and got me a couple of tacos last weekend on his way down to see me... .its just I had already eaten. Still the idea was the same.

    After years together, when they knock themselves out, you can't help but feel happy.... and glad you made the decision you did initially regarding the guy who would become your partner.
  • metta

    Posts: 39104

    May 30, 2009 4:24 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa said
    metta8 saidawww.....so where do you find one of those guys? ;)

    It has to be damp. (Morticia Addams, in the second "Addams Family" movie)



    Well, that explains a lot. The drought in California must end....I tell ya. icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 30, 2009 4:25 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidAfter years together, when they knock themselves out, you can't help but feel happy.... and glad you made the decision you did initially regarding the guy who would become your partner.

    Yeah, when he does something for YOU, aren't you just overwhelmed? icon_biggrin.gif
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    May 30, 2009 4:46 PM GMT
    my current bf didn't/couldn't use the "L" word out loud as soon as i could; but this was his first effort at proving it to me:

    last january the meniscus tendon in my right knee snapped. i was literally on the floor, crying and almost vomiting from the intense pain.

    i dragged myself thru the house to my cell phone and called him.

    even though he had worked a 14 hour night shift and had gotten perhaps 45 minutes of sleep when i called; he immediately hauled ass over to my house, physically carried/dragged my 240 pound sack of moaning flesh down the steps, to his truck and drove me to the emergency room.

    he stayed with me until the doctor was thru with me and then drove me to my mother's house, got me settled in bed, sat and talked with my mother for almost an hour before he FINALLY politely excused himself and went to his house and his bed.

    if this isn't the actions of a loving partner.... then i don't know what is.







    oh yeh... he soon started using the "L" word after that terrible day! icon_wink.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2009 4:53 PM GMT
    What a sweet thing to hear! icon_biggrin.gif It sends a message to everyone who's in uneven relationships.
  • danisnotstr8

    Posts: 2579

    May 30, 2009 5:58 PM GMT
    I love this thread. I need love in my life. Thanks for sharing your story, Vespa.
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    May 30, 2009 6:09 PM GMT
    To bad you don't live here in Arizona...we have the real deal and they are on every corner for about 99 cents each....quicker too and just as thoughtful!!

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    May 30, 2009 6:42 PM GMT
    How awesome. Enjoy your tacos (when he makes them). lol

    Say hello to him for Doug and I.

    Love,

    Anthony
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    May 30, 2009 6:47 PM GMT
    lifefit1 saidHow awesome. Enjoy your tacos (when he makes them). lol

    Say hello to him for Doug and I.

    Love,

    Anthony

    I shall. Having both met you in person, I will not fail to do so. icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 30, 2009 6:54 PM GMT
    Jockbod48 saidRed, what a good guy you have.

    Yeah, ain't it the truth? And I try to do the same for him. I remember the most off-hand wish he expresses, but make no immediate recognition of it to him, just store it away. Then when he least expects it, I make it happen.

    And he does the same thing for me, time & again. But really, isn't this what all partners do for each other? I can't imagine it being otherwise.
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    May 30, 2009 7:00 PM GMT
    I thought this was beautiful:

    To adapt the words of Jesus

    “Love and passion are like unto a merchant who has been seeking fine pearls.

    When he has found a pearl of a great price, he sells all that he has and buys that pearl.“

    If love relationships are not valued as such you have not found your pearl - only an imitation or a mind game.

    Nothing has more value on your journey through this world than the person who is to share your intimacy love and life.

    Never take lightly the amazing gift of passion.

    You are experiencing the reason for your existence here.

    You give your attention in life to the world of the mind and the material.
    You suppress the deeper world of feeling and the growth of the inner person or the soul who is here to live through experiences then resultant feelings, - the most important of which are those brought to life in intimate relationship, or what you call passion.

    The world has it backwards – your intimacy and loving relationship is your most important job – never your career or anything else that all will eventually simply turn to dust.

    If heaven has given you the gift of sincere love and passion in the form of another human soul who truly loves you, then you have found the holy grail of your existence here.

    All forms of love that knows no boundaries will be taken with you home at death, but the most valuable will always be the one with whom you shared your deepest self at whatever stage of your journey.

    The ancient Greeks never wrote obituaries. When a man died, they asked only one question, “Did he find passion?"

  • Little_Spoon

    Posts: 1562

    May 30, 2009 7:02 PM GMT
    icon_cry.gif

    Alone...
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    May 30, 2009 7:03 PM GMT
    mistic_man saidTo bad you don't live here in Arizona...we have the real deal and they are on every corner for about 99 cents each....quicker too and just as thoughtful!!

    I know, and as I wrote, I had them in South Texas for years, the ultimate Tex-Mex version. But I think I can teach my hubby how to make them the same way, even here in South Florida, where you have your choice between Cuban cuisine, or New York greasy-spoon diner... LOL!
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    May 30, 2009 7:12 PM GMT
    IvesCardin08 saidCongrat's Red Vespa- he's a keeper!

    Yeah, I already figured that out. If nothing else, anyone who can tolerate me is a hero. And when he does these special things for me, he's elevated to Sainthood.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2009 7:23 PM GMT
    your soo lucky.....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2009 7:59 PM GMT
    Red Vespa, your man must be cloned immediately! I would like serial #25, just to be sure all the bugs are worked out.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    May 30, 2009 8:14 PM GMT
    what, no comment about my bf?

    he's developing into a keeper, i suspect. icon_smile.gif
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    May 31, 2009 1:20 PM GMT
    This is exactly the kind of thing I like to do. Not only do you make someone happy, but in the true sense of giving, the feeling of having done something for someone, especially someone special, without any thought of payback or validation, really gives me a warm feeling.

    Conversely, there's a rare moment when something is done to make you happy, by your partner, that you know they don't enjoy, but it is done for you. If you recognize that, it is wonderful.

    It is often the very small selfless events in a relationship that make them special. Not the grand romantic gesture or the difficult compromise, great though they may be, but the smallest things that create the glue of a fine relationship.

    I look forward to that again.