Is he just not into me?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 31, 2009 10:08 PM GMT
    So I've gone on dates with two different guys as of late, and I thought both went well. There wasn't any big awkward pauses in conversation, and we were both physically attracted to each other. The next time i had talked to them, I got the same story from both. They had just come out of a bad relationship and wasn't ready to commit. But they were interested in being friends with benefits. So they both wanted to fuck me but not date me. lol Were they just not into me and just wanted in my pants?

    Thanks guys,

    Jason
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    May 31, 2009 10:21 PM GMT
    YES
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    May 31, 2009 10:47 PM GMT
    it's the age ole story - trite but true cliche about buying the cow if you can get the milk for free

    but bottomline they are just not into you, try not to loose any sleep over it. Here's a thread that may shed some light:

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/535231/
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 31, 2009 10:50 PM GMT
    YES, and you must have done something right if they wanted more, congrats.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 31, 2009 10:55 PM GMT
    Yeah i'm guilty of saying that too icon_redface.gif
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    May 31, 2009 10:59 PM GMT


    Yep, and if that's fine with you, you've got it made.icon_wink.gif
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    May 31, 2009 11:04 PM GMT
    bernd saidYES, and you must have done something right if they wanted more, congrats.


    Absolutely icon_lol.gif.

    So you have 2 options:

    (1) Toss their phone #s and forget about them.

    (2) Have sex.

    Which do you want? I think either option is good. If you go with # 1, you still hold on to your integrity--whatever that means these days. If go with # 2, you can opt to have the sex on your OWN terms--how you want it, when you want it, where you want it. And if the sex sucks, you can still go back to # 1.
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    May 31, 2009 11:05 PM GMT
    Their point of view was not dates, they were booty calls!
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    May 31, 2009 11:30 PM GMT

    Hold out and see how long they stick around, you'll be able to tell who is more into you then. Either that or one night he'll ask why are you such a tease or why are you leading him on! Ignore answering until after the check comes, dear, and he pays because once they say that, you will not be getting a call the next day or any other day there after. Men are pigs.

  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 31, 2009 11:32 PM GMT
    spacinjasin saidSo I've gone on dates with two different guys as of late, and I thought both went well. There wasn't any big awkward pauses in conversation, and we were both physically attracted to each other. The next time i had talked to them, I got the same story from both. They had just come out of a bad relationship and wasn't ready to commit. But they were interested in being friends with benefits. So they both wanted to fuck me but not date me. lol Were they just not into me and just wanted in my pants?

    Thanks guys,

    Jason


    What a crock of shit. Since when is dating someone a commitment?

    Do what's right for you. If it's not right for them, tough shit.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2009 1:01 AM GMT
    The translation to the story they're telling you probably is:

    I'm not ready for commitment = I have no idea what I want so I'm sleeping around until I figure it out.

    Let's be friends with benefits = I wouldn't mind hitting it one time, but since you're looking for something more I guess I have to pretend like I am too.

    OR

    It could be a completely ironic situation, and they may have broken up with one another. That'd be a mess. In that case, no need to analyze. Just RUN!
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    Jun 01, 2009 1:05 AM GMT
    They wanted to trick, and nothing more. Doesn't make you less, they'd have done & said the same thing to any other guy, too. Keep them as fuck buddies if it was good, but expect nothing better from them, and don't blame yourself.
  • toybrian

    Posts: 395

    Jun 01, 2009 2:47 AM GMT
    Jason, the same happened to me except I ama top and they only wanted me for sex only..thought I may get more than I thought like at least a friend but now I use them when they call and like they say...My terms only and when I have time...If they do not like it then find someone else....have a good time with it if you liked the guys unless you think it may get to you just having sex with them....hope you find what you are looking for Jason..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2009 3:36 AM GMT
    at least you got laid, and can keep doing so until you find something more serious. Maybe one of them will come around to something more serious but not count on it
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2009 6:20 AM GMT
    Cant call it...NO PICicon_eek.gificon_lol.gif if u want da truth, put ur pic upicon_idea.gif
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    Jun 01, 2009 6:27 AM GMT
    rnch saidYES




    icon_eek.gifaaaaaaaaaayyyy maaaaaaaaadreeee!!

    cutthroat what a cutthroat? icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2009 11:45 AM GMT
    Welcome to the dating world. You will meet all kinds of people from really intellectual, caring people to deceiving jerks. It's all about live and learn. I think that stuff might be happening because you're still learning about what you want as well (like most of us in our 20's). So, go with the flow.. take everything with a grain of salt and enjoy yourself (while being safe of course). When the right guy comes along for a LTR you'll know how totally into you he is cause he'll show you. Until then.. just have fun. icon_wink.gif
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Jun 01, 2009 12:21 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa saidThey wanted to trick, and nothing more. Doesn't make you less, they'd have done & said the same thing to any other guy, too. Keep them as fuck buddies if it was good, but expect nothing better from them, and don't blame yourself.
    darn good advice!
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jun 01, 2009 3:12 PM GMT
    They said the truth at least for themselves ....

    Whether you get pissed about it is kind of a waste of time and energy
    If you met these guys offline and they were the ones who asked you out
    that's the sign of the times but if you met them online
    what did you expect?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2009 3:22 PM GMT
    I usually find...

    If you have to ask this question...you've probably got the answer already.

    The hard part is admitting the guy you like doesn't feel the same back but he'll easily will take some sex because you're "so sexy" as he says. My advice- Cut ties- You found another loser!

    ...and the search continues...

    I heard you'll find what you are looking for when you stop looking.....So I stopped looking...I'll let him find me! icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2009 4:28 PM GMT
    They both probably on the rebound and yes, they're not into you. If you want a relationship, move on and find someone else. If you want to be fuck-buddy, stick around with one or both of them, if they're freaking hot & good in bed. icon_cool.gif