Going to a gay guy's club for the first time

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 13, 2007 1:32 PM GMT
    on Friday Nov 16, i will be going to my first gay club. i am really nervous about it because i dont know much about the club scene. so i was wondering if y'all could give me some tips on wat to wear, wat to drink and other rules of the club

    - james
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16305

    Nov 13, 2007 1:49 PM GMT
    Hey there James,
    I think you should go with friends (which I presume you probably are) and relax and take it all in.
    I'm not much of a bar person, but its fun when I go out. Wear what you are most comfortable wearing, wear what makes you feel good, feel confident and just go and enjoy. I'd encourage you to go to a generic club, what to wear and drink depends on what club you might be going to. Most are really not much different than a regular straight club.

    If I were in Dallas and out on the scene, I would observe general rules. Stay with your friends, keep your drink in front of you, don't get smashed and just stay cool. Have fun!icon_razz.gif
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    Nov 13, 2007 1:55 PM GMT
    you ever been to a club before? it's basically the same thing, just more guys, gay people and cheesier dance music

    if not, wear something casual, not too dressy (button up shirt) or too sloppy (dirty sneakers), in case there's clothing restrictions.

    have a good time dude!
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Nov 13, 2007 2:35 PM GMT
    Hi James

    Good luck on your first visit to a Gay club.

    Like the other posters have said, it's really not that much different than straight clubs, except it'll be full of guys looking for other guys.

    Wear something nice that suits you and you feel confident in, it'll probably be hot, so a t-shirt would probably be best (this will also show off your nice body).

    If you are going alone, then be prepared to make an effort to talk to strangers. A lot of single people on their own will be like you - a bit nervous and should be open to having a chat.

    Try not to drink too quickly, which you may do if you're nervous, as you'll get drunk and that's not a great look.

    Don't fret if you have a terrible time. Go again next week and you will eventually get in the swing of things, make friends and have a good time.

    Remember about safer sex and have fun.

    Lozx
  • jc_online

    Posts: 487

    Nov 13, 2007 5:02 PM GMT
    As Kansman said, keep your drink in front of you. Rarely, but it does happen, predator low-life people slip ruffies/GHB/etc (date-rape drugs) into unsuspecting people's cocktails. If you leave your drink to go to the bathroom, leave it with a friend or finish it before you go to the bathroom and get a fresh one after.

    Again, don't want to freak you out or scare you about it, just be aware and safe.

    Peace-
    JC
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    Nov 13, 2007 5:22 PM GMT
    OMG! Practice tap dancing. Gay men LOVE to tap dance when they get together in clubs. Wear a tux and drink Pink Daiquiris.
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    Nov 13, 2007 5:24 PM GMT
    hello all
    I have never been at a gayclub, can anybody tell me how it is?
    I mean the place people, you know..
    tanhks..
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    Nov 13, 2007 5:41 PM GMT
    Expect to se a lot of chicks. They seem to love to hang out with gay men
  • Paradigm_Shif...

    Posts: 251

    Nov 13, 2007 5:47 PM GMT
    Some pretty good advice given above. My only addition would be dance with a guy!!

    The first time I went to a gay club was the first time I had a chance to really dance with another guy. That experience by itself was so amazing to me and I loved every second.
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    Nov 13, 2007 5:51 PM GMT
    This has to be the sweetest question I have seen around here!

    Nothing to worry about James…I would wear a nice T-shirt with jeans…casual and comfortable….unless you are going to a place where people dress up a bit more….then a jacket would do but honestly pretty much every gay bar I have been a T-shirt would be enough!

    About what to drink… whatever you like! Beer or wine are an easy way out or just order one of those pink drinks that gay guys loooove to drink! LOL…I don’t know what they are but I guess they have some cranberries!

    I just remembered that the first time I went to a gay bar I bought a shirt in Sears for the occasion! How cute was that!

    Have fun buddy and let us know how it goes!

    .....seeing two guys dancing for the first time was soo weird but a few minutes latter I was dancing my ass off!
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    Nov 13, 2007 9:24 PM GMT
    1. PRAY there isn't a whole night dedicated to drag. That's what happened MY first time, and I didn't get to meet anyone. But if it is, try to make the most out of it. The queens can be hysterical and sometimes are worth the trip. (TIP WELL)

    2. Dress comfortably, confidently, yet casually. Wear something you KNOW looks good on you. It makes it a LOT easier for you to talk to guys if you look and feel good.

    3. Uh, don't know much about what to drink since (a) I'm too young and (b) I don't drink anyway. But my rule has always been to always keep it in my eyesight and if I DO leave it somewhere, I get another one... then again I get my drinks free since I don't drink any alcohol.

    4. I don't know about everyone else but my OTHER rule about the club is to use the bathroom before you leave the house, and not at the club. Sometimes the owners/ employees don't pay attention to the cleanliness of the bathroom and it can be very gross. HAVE FUN! Don't stand in the corner by yourself, you're there to go and have fun and standing on the wall is not fun. And it's the one night you can be you and not hide who you are.

    5. HAVE FUN! This is the most important rule. Don't stand in the corner by yourself, you're there to go and have fun and standing on the wall is not fun. And it's the one night you can be you and not hide who you are.
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    Nov 13, 2007 9:26 PM GMT
    I second Frzn on the whole bathroom thing.

    A lot of times there are things occuring in the restroom that u just might not want to encounter anyhow. Other times... well.. you just may!
  • RSportsguy

    Posts: 1925

    Nov 13, 2007 9:33 PM GMT
    I think the guys covered about everything here JFox. I just want to wish you good luck and I hope you have a great (and safe) time!
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    Nov 13, 2007 9:36 PM GMT
    Dallas, eh? Well, if anyone says something bitchy to you or gives you some kind of lousy look, don't absorb it. Let it roll of your back. Just remember that you are bright eyed and new, and they've been there far too many times and are feeling a bit trapped.

    Oh...and that they know your youthful look is 100% natural and maybe thiers isn't.

    Don't forget to say Hi to any of the Diablos if you see any of them. They're the sweetest guys and know all about jumping into new and scary territory.
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    Nov 13, 2007 9:37 PM GMT
    I assume it's going to be your birthday....so Happy Birthday if that's the case.....remember to wear some cologne!
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    Nov 13, 2007 9:45 PM GMT
    And on the opposite tack of what Rugger warned you about, be prepared to be "fresh meat." There may be some guys, as he said, who have been there WAY too much/too long and so a cute new face will make them like moths to a flame. You may get some unwanted attention but hopefully you'll get lots of the kind you do want! Have fun!
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    Nov 13, 2007 9:47 PM GMT
    ...and when they learn the attention is unwanted, just let the reaction roll of your back.
  • DiverScience

    Posts: 1426

    Nov 13, 2007 9:49 PM GMT
    No one's mentioned this yet so I will, though Hollywood touched on it.

    Depending on the atmosphere at the club, being young and attractive not only makes you "fresh meat" it may make you "fair game."

    Try not to break anyone's arm if you suddenly feel hands on your ass, crotch, leg, from someone you haven't even spoken to. I almost dislocated a guy's elbow and shoulder my first time out because of this. Brush them off and keep walking.

    I'll also reiterate one of the first pieces of advice, go with friends. It's a whole lot more fun and easier to get into the swing of things.
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    Nov 14, 2007 1:40 AM GMT
    Have Fun, be yourself
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2007 2:00 AM GMT
    Rugger who are the Diablos?

    icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2007 2:11 AM GMT
    good luck james!
    wow, i wish i could remember the first time i went to a gay club. icon_lol.gif
    since it's your first time, i'd take it all in -- don't expect too much. it's ok to stand back and watch if that's what you're comfortable with.
    but if you're feeling confidant and relaxed, dancing and a few drinks should equal a nice evening!
    here's a tip: my favorite thing about gay clubs is hot guys dancing shirtless! you won't see THAT in a straight club.icon_eek.gif
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    Nov 14, 2007 2:14 AM GMT
    good luck james

    i'm sure all the boys will want meet you!

    xx
  • Starboard

    Posts: 242

    Nov 14, 2007 2:28 AM GMT
    Well, I'm not a Dallas bar fly or anything, but I have been around the block a few times. Different bars in town cater to different types of crowds...the "bois" at JR's and TMC aren't quite the same crowd as what you'd typically find at Round Up, and they are totally different from the guys over at Dallas Eagle. Go with some good friends that know the scene, relax and have fun.
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    Nov 14, 2007 3:24 AM GMT
    first time i went to a gay bar was strange/fun.

    for starters i was there with a bunch of friends. gay, straight, bi, guys, girls, a slight homophobe, a manager from work. and we treated it like any other bar. this was a few years ago, i was more closeted than i am now, but that doesnt change anything. but here's my experience.

    it's a bar/club. hopefully you've been to one before. not much is different, except for the amount of topless people dancing, and the guy who offered me "favours" in the bathroom.

    but the bringing friends thing is tried and true. people will leave you alone if you want to be cuz you can just stick with who you know, or you can put yourself out there.

    generally people were ALOT friendlier as far as club goers went.
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    Nov 14, 2007 3:30 AM GMT
    My best advice: Do not go *expecting* or *desiring* to meet anyone. Just have a drink or two, hang out with your mates, dance and enjoy yourself. Enjoy the eye candy and don't be afraid to unwind and express yourself. Clubs vary tremendously on their mood, tone, and attitude (or lack thereof) so if you don't like one, try a different night or a different club.

    Tbh, despite many efforts, I've personally never met a *quality* dude from clubbing, but I still go to them to dance and have fun.