I can't tell if my friend is gay

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2009 8:27 AM GMT
    I have known my friend for 3 years we met at work at didn't say anything to each other for the first 5 months . One day I asked if he wanted to hang out and he said yes . After that he kept inviting me to hang out and introduced me to all his friends and we eventually started hanging out everyday. The whole time I have known him he has never had a girlfriend he said he liked this girl and invited me over to her house and we went and nothing happened . After that they stopped talking and she ended up getting a bf and having a baby. We still hang out everyday and now wrestle everyday, with often pauses where we just sit really close or he is just on top of me . But i have asked if he is gay and he said no. I asked if he was a virgin and he said no, but i have a friend who is out of the closet(unlike me) who asked him the question when he was a litte tipsy. His response was delayed and eventually a yes. I asked him the next day why he said that and he said he was just kidding . He likes to put on porn when we hang out and he has pictures from maxim on his walls and seems like a normal guy . All our friends make jokes that we are married a lot and he calls me honey and sweetie as a joke or refers to me as his boyfriend. He always asked if i am gay and i usually say no i ask him if he is gay and he says no. He has told my friends that im gay and always tells me i am but i am still kinda uncomfortable .Yesturday when we were wrestling he finished with looking in my eyes and told me to just me be myself . There is a lot of eye contact but i dont really know gaydar so i need help.
  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    Jun 03, 2009 8:33 AM GMT
    Forget about him being open and honest about himself until you are open and honest about yourself. Tell him the truth, go from there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2009 9:11 AM GMT
    Sounds like my first boyfriend, who btw isn't gay, or so he told me every time we kissed. icon_wink.gificon_wink.gif

    I haven't even met your friend, but he's gay most likely to me, although that's for him to decide if he wants to share that with you.

    You just have to open up!
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jun 03, 2009 10:05 AM GMT
    The next time you see him Pull him aside and say

    So there's a little bird that tells me you like sucking cock
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jun 03, 2009 11:31 AM GMT
    Next time you wrestle, grab his ass and hold. See what happens from there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2009 1:01 PM GMT
    "He likes to put on porn when we hang out and he has pictures from maxim on his walls and seems like a normal guy "

    Oh 100% straight. icon_rolleyes.gif I mean, no-one ever has put up a smoke screen before. Deliv is right... tell him you are gay icon_eek.gif

    Or just grab his ass like Timberoo suggests....

    icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2009 1:26 PM GMT
    qwerty9 saidI have known my friend for 3 years we met at work at didn't say anything to each other for the first 5 months . One day I asked if he wanted to hang out and he said yes . After that he kept inviting me to hang out and introduced me to all his friends and we eventually started hanging out everyday. The whole time I have known him he has never had a girlfriend he said he liked this girl and invited me over to her house and we went and nothing happened . After that they stopped talking and she ended up getting a bf and having a baby. We still hang out everyday and now wrestle everyday, with often pauses where we just sit really close or he is just on top of me . But i have asked if he is gay and he said no. I asked if he was a virgin and he said no, but i have a friend who is out of the closet(unlike me) who asked him the question when he was a litte tipsy. His response was delayed and eventually a yes. I asked him the next day why he said that and he said he was just kidding . He likes to put on porn when we hang out and he has pictures from maxim on his walls and seems like a normal guy . All our friends make jokes that we are married a lot and he calls me honey and sweetie as a joke or refers to me as his boyfriend. He always asked if i am gay and i usually say no i ask him if he is gay and he says no. He has told my friends that im gay and always tells me i am but i am still kinda uncomfortable .Yesturday when we were wrestling he finished with looking in my eyes and told me to just me be myself . There is a lot of eye contact but i dont really know gaydar so i need help.


    Save the drama for daytime television. Just ask.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2009 1:28 PM GMT
    Next time you guys are wrestling and get that deep eye contact, just kiss him. He will either kiss you back or beat the shit out of you.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2009 1:35 PM GMT
    chuckystud saidSave the drama for daytime television. Just ask.


    OP said

    "But i have asked if he is gay and he said no. "

    icon_rolleyes.gif

    Gratuitous pic time

    s640x480
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jun 03, 2009 2:48 PM GMT
    At least from the way you described this, he sounds gay. I am not sure how you're supposed to interpret that line about just be who you are during wrestling (and why are you wrestling with a straight guy?). If nothing else, it sounds as if he is a true friend, and that he would be OK with you coming out to him. I would tell him, and just ask that he respect your privacy. If he in turn wants to come out and reveal his feelings for you, that's his business, but it seems as if the ball is in your court.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Jun 03, 2009 2:52 PM GMT
    get him a little drunk

    start up a gay porn video

    sit close to him

    see what happens!
  • nadaquever_rm

    Posts: 139

    Jun 03, 2009 2:53 PM GMT
    You're both gay and you both like to deny it. You seem to want to step it up a notch, so either play his way (tell everyone he's gay and joke that he's your boyfriend) or just tell him you're gay.
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Jun 03, 2009 2:53 PM GMT
    calibro saidIf he in turn wants to come out and reveal his feelings for you, that's his business, but it seems as if the ball is in your court.


    Regardless of if he's gay or not, it really isn't any of your business if he doesn't want to tell you. If you come out to him, and he still doesn't want to tell you, that's his right and you should respect that.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jun 03, 2009 2:58 PM GMT
    Bunjamon said
    calibro saidIf he in turn wants to come out and reveal his feelings for you, that's his business, but it seems as if the ball is in your court.


    Regardless of if he's gay or not, it really isn't any of your business if he doesn't want to tell you. If you come out to him, and he still doesn't want to tell you, that's his right and you should respect that.


    That's what I said... or tired to say at least. I think the ball is in his court to come out to his friend, as he seems like the more likely of the two to feel comfortable doing it
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Jun 03, 2009 3:17 PM GMT
    calibro said
    Bunjamon said
    calibro saidIf he in turn wants to come out and reveal his feelings for you, that's his business, but it seems as if the ball is in your court.


    Regardless of if he's gay or not, it really isn't any of your business if he doesn't want to tell you. If you come out to him, and he still doesn't want to tell you, that's his right and you should respect that.


    That's what I said... or tired to say at least. I think the ball is in his court to come out to his friend, as he seems like the more likely of the two to feel comfortable doing it


    For sure, I was just reiterating the fact that, even though they're friends, his friend is not obligated to come out to him just because HE did, even if he is 100% homo. Sometimes I think many gays feel entitled to know these things about their entourage just because they're gay, too (hell, I used to feel that way), but that is not the case.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2009 3:19 PM GMT
    He sounds unsure, lacks confidence -- like so many of us humans. It's hard to admit this stuff to yourself, much less anyone else.

    I agree with what was suggested. Next time you wrestle, don't kiss him but tell him you're tempted, but you don't want him to beat the shit out of you. Make it honest and tongue in cheek. Then sit up and say, look, someone has to say something here so I'll just put it out there. "I'm hitting for the other team -- and hope you're cool with it.". If that's too obtuse, go right to the "I'm gay -- and hope you're cool with it."

    Once you open up, he'll either go with it, or push you away (doubtful but possible). Either way, you will have opened the door.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2009 3:39 PM GMT
    It sounds like u guys are both young, and ur GAY, but he's bi-curiousicon_exclaim.gif Not everyone is GAY, broicon_exclaim.gif Enjoy da friendship, and let wuteva comes to u, come naturally. If u pursue it u will end up embarrassed or worse *(lose a good friend)*
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2009 3:46 PM GMT
    GQjock saidThe next time you see him Pull him aside and say

    So there's a little bird that tells me you like sucking cock



    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2009 3:59 PM GMT
    Don't worry about it! It's not YOUR business, it's his! You worry about you and just be his friend IF you're able to do that. If not, then you need to remove yourself from that situation. If he's gay, let him come to terms with it on his own, he does not need to be badgered about it.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Jun 03, 2009 4:16 PM GMT
    if he's not gay then you can call me anita bryant. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2009 4:28 PM GMT
    qwerty9 said He always asked if i am gay and i usually say no i ask him if he is gay and he says no.


    There ya go. Too many 'No's' flying around. LOL

    Suck it up, and say Yes for a change maybe he'll suck it up too and um... more sucking, yeah. icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2009 4:39 PM GMT
    Does his cock taste like vagina?
    OK so maybe you don't know yet.
    Does it smell like vagina?
    Don't know that either? Next time you are wrestling, find out.

    When you watch porn together do you stare at each other's cock more than at the screen? Does he always pick the porn? If you guys watch straight porn together, go buy or rent a mildly bisexual porn and watch that and pay close attention to his response.


    Also, it sound like both of you are putting too much emphasis on labels when you could be enjoying each other's company even more. You already like to hang out, watch porn, wrestle, etc getting naked is the next logical step.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2009 4:42 PM GMT
    _chuck_ saidDoes his cock taste like vagina?
    OK so maybe you don't know yet.
    Does it smell like vagina?
    Don't know that either? Next time you are wrestling, find out.

    And how are we to know what vagina tastes/smells like?
    .......................................... puking.gif

    I have heard they look like mangled luncheon meat ...

    .......................................... puking.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2009 4:47 PM GMT
    Sedative said
    qwerty9 said He always asked if i am gay and i usually say no i ask him if he is gay and he says no.


    There ya go. Too many 'No's' flying around. LOL

    Suck it up, and say Yes for a change maybe he'll suck it up too and um... more sucking, yeah. icon_razz.gif


    proof that when a guy says no, he really means YES icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2009 7:50 PM GMT
    Dude, if he denies it, and he is, then, don't waste your time on a creep like that. Way, way, way, to much drama and dishonesty. Life is too short for all the crap.

    Move on.