How to know if he's hitting on you? (the RJ guide)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2009 5:34 PM GMT

    Let's all try to give out tips of how to know if a guy is gay and likes you..


    Here's mine:

    If he says during the first conversation a sentence that starts with "you look.." . ThenIt means "I see you, I see how you look like, and I wanna relate to it.."


    Just a try..
    your shot?
  • inuman

    Posts: 733

    Jun 03, 2009 6:04 PM GMT
    If the guy gives you the once over look and than smiles icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2009 7:11 PM GMT
    I'm clueless, so guys c'mon post something.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2009 8:45 PM GMT
    Well to borrow a famous line from Margaret Cho - if he comes up and screams "STICK IT IN!" then I would guess he is interested in you ...heheheh icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2009 9:13 PM GMT
    I'm clueless in this regard but I had a friend tell me that you know when someone is hitting on you when they say, " That ___ looks good on you." but say it in a quiet whisper very close to your ear.

  • DrewT

    Posts: 1327

    Jun 03, 2009 9:17 PM GMT
    I probably shouldn't be posting, because 99% of the time I have no idea (and I still get it wrong).

    If he tells you he is interested, chances are he is! (though in my case it usually doesn't mean that, damn teases!)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2009 9:18 PM GMT
    Eye contact is definately a tip off.

    Was at a bar with friends once I kept meeting this guys gaze. I would look over and every time our eyes met. Sadly, I didn't play on it until it was too late. Went back to confront him but couldn't find him. If your eyes meet more than three times, chances are that you should buy him a drink. icon_smile.gif

    If you do see someone and you make eye contact give a short, quick smile and see how he reacts. If he returns it, go over and ask if you can buy him a drink and just make pleasant conversation. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2009 9:18 PM GMT
    GHoSTic said
    Let's all try to give out tips of how to know if a guy is gay and likes you..


    The reason I believe no one really can answer this is because...unless he tells you he IS gay, you can never ever really know. (*yes I know the kinsey scale theory-but more men identify as straight and feel comfortable in their sexuality) I know from personal experience that Men flirt with each other without even knowing it and think of it as nothing more than brotherly bonding. Some men even like to flirt with gay men because they like the attention and the self-esteem building it does for them. Men have complemented me and flirted with me in ways that I can't believe they do not see as gay. Thing is...all these men are completely straight and in their mind- there was nothing sexual about it. If they do same thing to a woman- it triggers something sexual for them.

    Smiles, nervousness, sitting close to you, complementing you, perking up when you come around, hugs, wrestling, going out of their way to talk to you, inviting you to everything, long late night calls, holding your hand, needing your attention etc etc etc.....In my experiences...means absolutely nothing....all have girlfriends, all love woman, all think you are straight too.

    Until you tell them, Until they tell you....you just never know.

    Ha-Ha, In my case I tell them I am gay, they tell me "dude, sorry man, I can see how it came across that way because you are but I'm completely straight- I'm not gay, I'm sorry you misread me but I hope we can still be friends."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2009 9:33 PM GMT
    This actually happened to me a few weeks ago at a bar/club. I glanced at this one handsome/attractive guy as I was leaving. I noticed he also was looking directly at me. Being a shy guy and always walking around like a horse with blinders, I didn't think anything of it...I smiled and kept walking.

    We found each other online and he said he always thought I was very cute but didn't think I was interested in him. So I confessed to him as well, Not a bad start so far icon_biggrin.gif


    So I guess sometimes we can be intimidated by rejection which could cloud our judgment. Preventing us to notice when someone is cleary interested or trying to catch your attention.




  • DrewT

    Posts: 1327

    Jun 03, 2009 9:38 PM GMT
    WolfRain said
    So I guess sometimes we can be intimidated by rejection could cloud our judgment. Preventing us to notice when someone is cleary interested or trying to catch your attention.


    For me, it is almost never clear when someone wants my attention. Unless they are creepy old guys (there is a difference between older guys, and creepy old guys). Ew.
  • Little_Spoon

    Posts: 1562

    Jun 03, 2009 9:39 PM GMT
    The "You Look" things seems accurate.

    Other than that....



    Being forward makes things so much easier.
  • DrewT

    Posts: 1327

    Jun 03, 2009 9:43 PM GMT
    jprichva said
    Simply_Drew said Unless they are creepy old guys (there is a difference between older guys, and creepy old guys). Ew.

    Yes, it has to do with the quantity of drool.


    You, jprichva, had me laughing out loud. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2009 9:52 PM GMT
    IvesCardin08 said
    GHoSTic said
    Let's all try to give out tips of how to know if a guy is gay and likes you..


    The reason I believe no one really can answer this is because...unless he tells you he IS gay, you can never ever really know. (*yes I know the kinsey scale theory-but more men identify as straight and feel comfortable in their sexuality) I know from personal experience that Men flirt with each other without even knowing it and think of it as nothing more than brotherly bonding. Some men even like to flirt with gay men because they like the attention and the self-esteem building it does for them. Men have complemented me and flirted with me in ways that I can't believe they do not see as gay. Thing is...all these men are completely straight and in their mind- there was nothing sexual about it. If they do same thing to a woman- it triggers something sexual for them.

    Smiles, nervousness, sitting close to you, complementing you, perking up when you come around, hugs, wrestling, going out of their way to talk to you, inviting you to everything, long late night calls, holding your hand, needing your attention etc etc etc.....In my experiences...means absolutely nothing....all have girlfriends, all love woman, all think you are straight too.

    Until you tell them, Until they tell you....you just never know.

    Ha-Ha, In my case I tell them I am gay, they tell me "dude, sorry man, I can see how it came across that way because you are but I'm completely straight- I'm not gay, I'm sorry you misread me but I hope we can still be friends."


    That's because your gaydar is dead icon_lol.gif

    I've met more guys in non-gay environments than in gay bars, clubs, etc. You just have to know what you're doing. In most cases, you don't even have to say you're gay. When connecting discreetly, it's about the vibe, not the label. If you're feeling each other, then you're feeling each other. If a guy is undressing you with his eyes (and vice versa), discussing your labels (e.g., homo, bi, try, etc.) is a waste of words and time. What you should do is trade digits and connect later. That's how it's done.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2009 9:53 PM GMT
    First it is eye contact.
    Catch his reaction to initial eye contact.

    If the guy looks down:
    It is a hint that he is probably NOT interested, and looking for a place to comfortably rest his eyes.

    if he looks UP (or up and away to the side) he probably IS interested, this way he can keep you in his peripheral vision to see if you are open to more eye contact.

    If he looks away or to the side--he is either being coy or he is shy, you may have to chase this one.

    The best way to tell is to go for it and then try to engage his eyes again,
    Usually you'll get a response one way or another.

    Either you will get those that no matter what will refuse to look directly at you EVER AGAIN (those that turn away with their back toward you) LOL, or when they keep looking at you, you need to get up on that, its a hit!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2009 10:00 PM GMT
    xuaerb saidFirst it is eye contact.
    Catch his reaction to initial eye contact.

    If he looks away or to the side--he is either being coy or he is shy, you may have to chase this one.

    The best way to tell is to go for it and then try to engage his eyes again,
    Usually you'll get a response one way or another.


    Hahah that's exactly what I doicon_lol.gif I'm such a coward/shy sometimes.
  • TexanMan82

    Posts: 893

    Jun 03, 2009 10:15 PM GMT
    My favorite one to hear...

    "Do I know you from somewhere.....?"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2009 11:57 PM GMT
    If his dick tastes like your ass, he is gay and into you, LOL!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 04, 2009 12:02 AM GMT
    xuaerb said

    If the guy looks down:
    It is a hint that he is probably NOT interested, and looking for a place to comfortably rest his eyes.


    Oh no! I do that when I am checking someone out and the eyes meet.. I guess I have been sending the wrong signal all this time.. I was hoping I was just looking shy..

    Guess I got to look Up or Sideways from now on ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 04, 2009 12:25 AM GMT
    ay maaaaaaaaaaaadreee!icon_eek.gif

    nasty how nasty! icon_razz.gif





    jimib saidIf his dick tastes like your ass, he is gay and into you, LOL!
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Jun 04, 2009 12:26 AM GMT
    jimib saidIf his dick tastes like your ass, he is gay and into you, LOL!
    Seriously though, it's far easier to just hookup with someone than flirt and engage.
    Take note of the OPs posting:

    GHoSTic said
    Let's all try to give out tips of how to know if a guy is gay and likes you..


    Here's mine:

    If he says during the first conversation a sentence that starts with "you look.." . ThenIt means "I see you, I see how you look like, and I wanna relate to it.."


    Just a try..
    your shot?

    As for me, I'm often clueless. I've tried to be direct sometimes, but it rarely pays off. Sometimes I think about:

    "In war, as in love...we must come to close quarters to conclude matters."
    --Napoleon Bonaparte

    I'm finding the most comfortable approach is to recognize how cute a guy might be, put it in a little box in my mind, and go over and talk to him. At least, that's the plan, not always successfully executed.

    “Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action has arrived, stop thinking and go in.”
    --Napoleon Bonaparte
  • torontoguy222...

    Posts: 410

    Jun 04, 2009 12:32 AM GMT
    I don't think I'm qualified to give advice on this one, but I'd say that eye contact and a smile are good signs. I tend to throw compliments at the person if I'm interested. =)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 04, 2009 12:51 AM GMT
    swimbikerun said

    “Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action has arrived, stop thinking and go in."
    --Napoleon Bonaparte





    ayyy maaaaaaaaaaaadreeee!!icon_eek.gif

    Napoleon, who's Napoleon?

    Frozen how frozen! icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 04, 2009 12:54 AM GMT
    icon_lol.gif I am completely and utterly clueless whenever it comes to people hitting on me. I mean, I had this one guy come up to me in the mall telling me that I looked very handsome. The thing was that he didn't look gay at all so I thought it was just some guy trying to be friendly because he was with some girl.

    LOL And I was working at the time back then. Gosh I really need to pay attention to this thread. Might help me in my oblivious outlook on interested guys. I guess I've never had that many hit on me. LOL

    I'm a dork icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Jun 04, 2009 1:03 AM GMT
    Torontoguy is right. If a guy is compimenting you, or asking questions, but looking around at the chics, he's a car salesman or a politician. If he's looking directly into your eyes, smiling when you smile, and asking questions that suggest he genuinely wants to know more about you, he's into you.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Jun 04, 2009 1:05 AM GMT
    As for the "you look" thing, not so much. When I see patients or visitors wandering in my hospital, I approach them, smile, and say "You look lost" as a way of offering help.