Why are gay guys so difficult to train?

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  Jun 03, 2009 6:40 PM GMT

  Could someone please give me some insights on training a guy with the gay mindset. Okay, maybe it's not a 'gay mindset', but I have noticed most of the gay guys I train or have trained lack motivation to do a workout, a lack dedication in keeping to a program and a general lack of determination to get in better shape. They are timid, submissive and lack drive. What is it? I spend more mental energy with this group of clients than with any other. Insights someone? Fellow trainer? Anyone?

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  Jun 03, 2009 7:59 PM GMT

  I think it's often down to unrealistic goals, I want to look like that guy or I need ripped abs for pride
  
  They are probably there because of just that they are timid, submissive and lack their own determination. Might be time for some tuff-love, question why they are there and just how much effort is required to achieve what they want

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  Jun 03, 2009 8:06 PM GMT

  Buffhunk64 saidCould someone please give me some insights on training a guy with the gay mindset. Okay, maybe it's not a 'gay mindset', but I have noticed most of the gay guys I train or have trained lack motivation to do a workout, a lack dedication in keeping to a program and a general lack of determination to get in better shape. They are timid, submissive and lack drive. What is it? I spend more mental energy with this group of clients than with any other. Insights someone? Fellow trainer? Anyone?

  
  
  Lots of fairies are just that: fairies. Low esteem. Lazy. Self-loathing. Whiny. Tell them to shape up, get with the program, or get rid of them, unless you're desperate for all that crap.
  
  You can guide a person into, through, and beyond, their comfort zone, but, a whimp is a whimp is a whimp and if they won't work to change, you're wasting time.
  
  If you're in it for the money, take their money, listen to them, and repeat, otherwise, get rid of them. No trainers need losers for clients. Most trainers want success stories and some guys are just not trainable.

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  Jun 03, 2009 8:09 PM GMT

  I can't really speak for all the gays out there who are hard to train.... but I know that for me, the problem is that I want a quick fix. I wanna see instant results from my training instead of having to lay the foundation, build up to reasonable goal, and the do the work to maintain it.... and that's like wanting to have a beautiful a garden without wanting to do the weeding. Not a lot of humility, huh?
  
  Well, it's something I have to work on on a daily basis. For me the answer involved settling for steady progress as a goal rather than a body that looks just-so. I'm much more teachable when I am for "getting better" or "making progress" as the goal.
  

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  Jun 03, 2009 8:13 PM GMT

  Just feed them steroids and they'll be screaming to lift more.
  
  Of course, they may tackle a sweet old lady on their way back to their car as well.
  
  Ahem.

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  Jun 03, 2009 8:16 PM GMT

  Sheesh, is it really gay guys or just people in general? I look at the people working with trainers in my gym and not a single one of them gets through a session without some whine or complaint. Haven't seen any men do it yet, but women regularly cry.

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• Timbales
  
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  Jun 03, 2009 8:25 PM GMT

  Try smacking them on the nose with a rolled up newspaper and yelling "BAD GAY! BAD GAY!".
  
  or maybe you could find a way to get to know them and their issues as individuals who have come to a professional for assistance.

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  Jun 03, 2009 8:59 PM GMT

  Timberoo saidTry smacking them on the nose with a rolled up newspaper and yelling "BAD GAY! BAD GAY!".

  
  
  This only works if you are wearing pink lycra at the time.
  
  Just sayin.

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  Jun 03, 2009 9:05 PM GMT

  jprichva saidHave you tried the incentive of after-workout cocktails?

  
  Ummm... that formula works for me! I go from Island City gym right over to the Alibi next door (and now owned by the same gay couple). Undoing a lot of the good of the workout, granted, but hey, I need my motivation... LOL!

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• DrewT
  
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  Jun 03, 2009 9:15 PM GMT

  Buffhunk64 saidCould someone please give me some insights on training a guy with the gay mindset. Okay, maybe it's not a 'gay mindset', but I have noticed most of the gay guys I train or have trained lack motivation to do a workout, a lack dedication in keeping to a program and a general lack of determination to get in better shape. They are timid, submissive and lack drive. What is it? I spend more mental energy with this group of clients than with any other. Insights someone? Fellow trainer? Anyone?

  
  
  
  I'm sure if you dealt with the straight population as a whole, you'd find worse off people. At least they are getting to the gym, if only because they feel like they need to look like a model.

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  Jun 03, 2009 9:15 PM GMT

  If you keep a constant parade of superbuff models parading in front of them with tight lycra shorts , hopefully that is enough motivation. It is for me ! lol
  

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• gymguy81
  
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  Jun 03, 2009 9:17 PM GMT

  if youwant totrainthem havethem set "realistic" Goals ifthey cant do that well that is thereproblem

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  Jun 03, 2009 9:33 PM GMT

  I notice that there are three general types who go to the gym.
  
  1. Guys (gay and straight) who are and always were actively involved in sports and training.
  
  2. Guys, mostly gay, who are there for vanity sake. There are straight men in this group too that are usually recently divorced. These guys go to the gym to cure their 'singleness'. These tend to be least motivated or those for whom the motivation quickly decays when they realize that it's not a short term commitment or an instant result. Also, if they start dating someone regularly, the gym becomes less and less of a priority.
  
  3. Guys, mostly straight, who go to the gym because their Dr. just told them that if they don't quit smoking, loose weight, and take better care of themselves, they're going to die - and soon. These tend to be the most motivated.
  
  There is overlap within these groups and there are also other archetypes, but the three seems to cover more than 90% of men at the gym.
  

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• DrewT
  
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  Jun 03, 2009 9:36 PM GMT

  bgcat57 saidI notice that there are three general types who go to the gym.
  

  
  
  I agree! Mostly I was never very active or atheletic when I was younger, but I still manage to do a lot of time at the gym. Nor was I recently broken up with, not looking for a hookup, and vanity? Somewhat, but I like how it makes me fell much more

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  Jun 03, 2009 9:36 PM GMT

  A reward system would work wonders.
  
  ;)

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  Jun 03, 2009 9:39 PM GMT

  bgcat57 saidI notice that there are three general types who go to the gym.
  
  1. Guys (gay and straight) who are and always were actively involved in sports and training.
  
  2. Guys, mostly gay, who are there for vanity sake. There are straight men in this group too that are usually recently divorced. These guys go to the gym to cure their 'singleness'. These tend to be least motivated or those for whom the motivation quickly decays when they realize that it's not a short term commitment or an instant result. Also, if they start dating someone regularly, the gym becomes less and less of a priority.
  
  3. Guys, mostly straight, who go to the gym because their Dr. just told them that if they don't quit smoking, loose weight, and take better care of themselves, they're going to die - and soon. These tend to be the most motivated.
  
  There is overlap within these groups and there are also other archetypes, but the three seems to cover more than 90% of men at the gym.
  

  
  
  Yep.
  
  That pretty well covers it.
  
  Reward systems only work well with rats.... You shouldn't have to reward someone to get their head out of their behind and get in shape.

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  Jun 03, 2009 9:44 PM GMT

  gymguy81 saidif youwant totrainthem havethem set "realistic" Goals ifthey cant do that well that is thereproblem

  
  Buy a new space bar.

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  Jun 03, 2009 10:00 PM GMT

  ROFL.
  
  Stupid people are stupid. LOL.

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  Jun 03, 2009 10:16 PM GMT

  
  The gay guys I have trained have worked hard, been well motivated and got excellent results.

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  Jun 03, 2009 10:38 PM GMT

  could be some overriding subgroup thing going on with your gay clients 'cuz looking at the gay male population compared with the whole, I'd have to conclude gay men are MORE self-motivated and fitness conscious.
  
  One of the hottest gay guys I know doesn't even have a gym at his disposal...

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  Jun 03, 2009 10:47 PM GMT

  McGay saidSheesh, is it really gay guys or just people in general? I look at the people working with trainers in my gym and not a single one of them gets through a session without some whine or complaint. Haven't seen any men do it yet, but women regularly cry.

  
  
  I see a lot of posts like that..."Why do gay people this and that." I think if you only hang out with gay people, you're going to think lots of things are unique to gay people, when in fact it is more of a human nature thing. Not sure if that applies here though.

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• handsoffire
  
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  Jun 03, 2009 11:06 PM GMT

  Hmm, send them here, working out with cirque and La reve will provide some motivation

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• coolarmydude
  
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  Jun 04, 2009 12:02 AM GMT

  Feed them the criticisms they're trying to avoid, like...
  
  OMG! Are you still gaining weight?
  
  You look like _____________.
  
  If you don't do this, then you'll _________________.
  
  
  Be creative and specific to your client's fears.

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  Jun 04, 2009 12:28 AM GMT

  coolarmydude saidFeed them the criticisms they're trying to avoid, like...
  
  OMG! Are you still gaining weight?
  
  You look like _____________.
  
  If you don't do this, then you'll _________________.
  
  
  Be creative and specific to your client's fears.

  
  
  Oh, that so wouldn't work with me... Now if he said something like 'after 4 weeks if you've lost xx pounds you can buy yourself some Gucci driving mocs'. Game over, weight gone!

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  Jun 04, 2009 12:34 AM GMT

  [quote] maybe you could find a way to get to know them and their issues as individuals who have come to a professional for assistance. [/quote]
  
  Well Said!

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