At a minimum, the ideal b-h very well maintained & clean and with absolute guarantees re professional privacy / security policies has :
a large whirlpool(s) with chemically cleaned, filtered water, and temp 98- 100 degrees [ anymore then 104 you'll be poached ....lol ]
either a covered or an outdoor __ [ dep' on lattitude weather etc ] swimming pool at least 75 x 3o with real space for sunning all around.
If no swimming pool, at least an outdoor patio.
Plenty of decent pressured, adjustable-flow shower faucets
All "wet" areas have special light-coloured flooring which helps drainage and prevents slippage
lounge "chill" area ---ventilated smokers section (?)
quality food & drink dispensing machines, as well as sex-aids etc 4 sale...
and a music system which is NOT ear-splitting, and could permit visitors to hear different T.V programs in their own rooms. cubicles... and most importantly, get some shut-eye esp in the early a.m ....Lol!
optional is a tanning bed depending on location climate etc.
Have i been to a place where it all measured up.?..... Nope..:.not that easy to get the whole "package" But i've not yet made it to Cleveland ....L.A. or s.f yet ..... or to Europe .....