Need help with a guy...at the gym I go to.

  • JuanitoR

    Posts: 12

    Jun 04, 2009 6:46 AM GMT
    The gym I go to...icon_exclaim.gif

    There's this personal trainer (very attractive) who about a year ago attempted to talk to me, but I assumed he was trying to "sell" me on personal training service, because he stood there staring at me while I was working out.

    This happened just after I asked him to use the digital scale, ( i had just gained a bunch of weight at the time, that I now have lost a lot of...) and he offered to help me with it, but I was embarrased about my weight, so I said no. After I left the room I began using a treadmill and he walked out and started staring at me. I thought he was about "sell" me on a training service, So I mad-dogged him to let him know I didn't want him around. He left.

    Fast forward a year...(about a month ago) He and I are in bathroom using hand-wash basin, when I was grabbing paper towels, he starts talking to me asking me how I'm doing,etc...in front of his friend. I was surprised at first, but he seemed genuinely interested in what my workouts were like.....Since then he has talked to me several times, we say hello, etc..And it has really seemed to me he is flirting. He has by now had plenty of opportunities to "sell" me services, but he hasn't. He asks me dumb questions, ...rather obvious attempts to simply talk to me....It made me very awkward. We physically touched twice, once in handshake, once he patted me while walking by since this started.

    I have never seen a personal trainer try so hard to be social with me ever, or any man for that matter (a hot one) ever in my life. At least not in this capacity, not so cordially anyways. It's rather confusing.

    I have been friendlier now, ( I have some emotional issues, anxiety.etc, which I am less angry about...thanks to counseling). I guess back then he was trying to engage me. He also looks at me across the room, checking me out style. He also does things like ..waiting for me to look at him so we can say hello to each other..across the room and through a plate glass window on time.

    I'm not terribly experienced in "formally" dating men, much like other gay me.

    Now I had been worrying for a while about this, less now, because of my insecurities, etc. (is he really gay...?....Is he closeted..etc)

    I seen him twice hanging around with this girl who looks attractive, but I never seen them intimate or anything, they worked out together at the gym....but still I found it irritating. I had before gone to that gym and found a female friend of mine there, which he saw me with her and he stared at us. So I don't want to come off as an ass and not make assumptions about someone, so I would like to get advice from people. I really just would rather make friends for now, but don't want to waste my time either. I don't get the impression he wants to fuck me, i don't either. His behavior leans more to him "liking" me. And if he is gay and available, I don't want to mess it up either. So I have been trying very hard to curb my emotional reactions and not drive someone away. I been working to pull my head out my ass with dealing with people in general, which I have trouble with. I really don't want to shut someone out who has been genuinely polite to me on many occassions. So far he is still relatively friendly...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2009 7:28 AM GMT
    Maybe he's trying to drum up business ... maybe he wants to date ... or maybe he's just an actual, honest-to-god GOOD GUY.

    Who cares?

    If he's cute and interesting and polite, then just talk to him ... and let things happen however they may. Don't have expectations and try not to overthink it.

    Just my opinion, anyway. icon_wink.gif
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Jun 04, 2009 8:04 AM GMT
    A year later are you kidding me-he who hesitates has lost.

    I would have asked flat out are you trying to sell me your PT advice? Or are you a fan of the dick?

    Case solved- that was an easy one.
  • Little_Spoon

    Posts: 1562

    Jun 04, 2009 9:32 AM GMT
    Guys are suppose to be more aggressive in this situation.


    It's like my stupid little quote from my favorite song.

    "I know I might Lose You by Taking A Chance, but Love without Pain isn't really Romance."


    Ah Royksopp.


    See, music always has your back.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2009 9:40 AM GMT
    JuanitoR saidT

    ...but I assumed he was trying to "sell" me on personal training service, because he stood there staring at me while I was working out...

    ...I thought he was about "sell" me on a training service...

    ...He asks me dumb questions, ...rather obvious attempts to simply talk to me....It made me very awkward...



    icon_razz.gif

    So let me get this straight, he hasn't tried to sell you anything at all? I'd go with FierceEyes' advice. See where it goes. Oh and drop hints as to your sexuality every once in a while, a rainbow band etc., or better yet just tell him you're gay.

    But I get ya. You say he's 'very attractive', and I can't quite get myself to believe goodlooking guys would want anything to do with me other than take advantage either. Heh. But that's just me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2009 10:19 AM GMT
    You're thinking this one over way too much....sounds like you like the guy and he is great....be friendly as well without expectations, if there is something there it will come up soon.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Jun 04, 2009 11:40 AM GMT
    Funny, one guy in the gym show somewhat extra attention to me today. He even ask me to join him in the sauna, ask me if I am married. The biggest hint, is I saw his dick kinda hard and sticking out against his towel while we talk. I go along, and compliment him on how nice his body is, keep smilling and try to sneek a look in the locker room.

    I am sure , I meet him again another day. Probably I have a chance, who know.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2009 3:12 PM GMT
    Maybe he is shy too and looking for the right opening, like you might be.
    Try asking his advice on something and get him to talk about something he is interested in which isn't directly connected with his services as a trainer. For instance ask him what kind of protein powder he would recommend and, like others have said, just take it from there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2009 3:41 PM GMT
    Just continue with the banter and see where it goes! At a gym especially, you don't know if they're trying to drum up business or if they are interested in you personally. So just befriend the guy and if it's gonna happen it will!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2009 4:01 PM GMT
    a1972guy saidJust continue with the banter and see where it goes! At a gym especially, you don't know if they're trying to drum up business or if they are interested in you personally. So just befriend the guy and if it's gonna happen it will!


    There's nothing wrong with asking the guy to meet casually outside of the gym, for a some coffee at Starbucks, drink at a local watering hole, etc.
    Something like, "hey, you know, you seem like areal friendly guy. Would you like to just hangout sometime? Grab a coffee at Starbucks, or grab a bar sometime?"
  • JuanitoR

    Posts: 12

    Jun 04, 2009 5:42 PM GMT
    thanks for all the replies,

    I know I think way too much about this shit, but like I said before, I have anxiety problems and I am naturally shy towards guys, which I battle with constantly. This situation has flared up my anxiety a lot.

    Lately, I generally have not been very concerned over this unless I come to situation where I might run into him.

    anyway, thanks for all the help.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Jun 08, 2009 1:16 PM GMT
    Zakariahzol say

    "Funny, one guy in the gym show somewhat extra attention to me today. He even ask me to join him in the sauna, ask me if I am married. The biggest hint, is I saw his dick kinda hard and sticking out against his towel while we talk. I go along, and compliment him on how nice his body is, keep smilling and try to sneek a look in the locker room.

    I am sure , I meet him again another day. Probably I have a chance, who know"

    Just to update, those who intersted to know. Yes, I get this guy today. We make out in a cubicle shower . After week of flirting, we kinda get each other message. He pull my hand to his shower, pull the curtain and ....so forth....