jprichva saidDon't be so quick to make up your mind about things, Tigger.
You're only 21.
I never will change my mind...
young man = won't change his mind
mature man = willing to change his mind
old man - can't change his mind
Dear Tigre: When I came out late, my gay mentor told me all about anal sex. I thought it was a rather unpleasant concept, but adored oral and handjobs, 2 things I still love today and do rather well.
Then I dated some guys who were bottoms, and I learned to accommodate them to please, and then to like being a top. My objections to anal ceased; I had changed my mind, though it took a few years.
Then I decided to try being a bottom myself, and I liked that, too. Not as much as being a top, since I don't have a prostate that gives me pleasure, and worse, sometimes even pain. But it was another sexual thing I could do with a man.
One of my favorite things is to straddle a man at the waist facing him, while he lies on his back. I hold our 2 hardons lengthwise against each other, and jerk us off together with lube between my interlocked hands. But because I am very large, this only works well with a man who is as big as me. It fails with a man with a small penis.
I also like to "dock" my dick with another, but I am cut myself so I am dependent upon finding another man with the right "qualifications" of foreskin and large size. Point is, I love dick play as much as you, and doing anal doesn't mean you can't do other things, though I know there are some men who are very limited in their sexual interests.
Like you, I believe in equal roles. But you don't always have to be equal simultaneously; you can take turns, and do different things to each other. I can top him, and then he gives me a blow job, and I think that is "equal."
What is not equal is when one man only receives, and gives nothing in return, as some straight men do with gay men. I will not do that.
But the nature of the sex act does not, to me, determine equality, as it appears to seem in your mind. Equality is a matter of sharing fairly, not matching act-for-act. And unlike some Europeans, most US gays do not assign values to being top versus bottom. It is merely what feels good to you, what pleases you best. And when both men agree to that, I think that is being very equal.