QUETION: Why do you think it is that so many hot guys on this site have "single" in their profile?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 15, 2007 6:07 AM GMT
    Discuss.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 15, 2007 6:33 AM GMT
    You make an interesting observation....
    Is it because we all spend so much time in the gym that we don't have time for anyone else? Could it be that everyone figures this is a "hook-up" site and has fabricated their profile so that they look FABULOUS and unattached? I don't know, but I find it just as strange that everyone is "real", "down-to-earth", "normal", "drama free", or any number of other popular buzz-words. More people need to be HONEST and HUMAN. Quit trying to show everyone that you are "happy on your island of one" and let someone touch your heart, mind, body and soul. You may actually allow happiness to find you in the guise of a super, handsome guy!icon_exclaim.gificon_rolleyes.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16305

    Nov 15, 2007 12:50 PM GMT
    Well a couple of thoughts regarding this question....

    RJ is hardly a hook up site. Most of us have been hit on in here, but I find this site to be more than just a step above something like "Manhunt" or some other sex site.

    As far as some of those who have "single" in their profile.. they may be just that. There are men in here with careers, with other objectives that may have outweighed having a relationship. There may be some that haven't found what they want or perceive they need.

    I'm not saying there isn't a small percentage that lie about their relationship status, but I'm inclined to believe that most are being honest in that area.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 15, 2007 1:14 PM GMT
    "Hot" may not necessarily be someone who is successful in partnerships. Some of the most unpleasant people I've met are physically "hot"


    As a newcom,er here I don't wish this comment to be interpreted as a judgement on anyone here - who all seem pretty cool so far icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 15, 2007 1:31 PM GMT
    I often get the question "Why are you single?" and statements like "Oh it's a shame you are gay".. "you are a catch etc etc".

    Why am I single? It's because I'm picky. If I'm in a relationship.. I hold my boyfriend in the highest regard. I treat them right and I ensure that my actions would never intentionally hurt them.


    I have standards that I have for myself and I do this because it keeps me honest and also means that I always have my boyfriend's feelings and best interests in mind. I'd like to think my potential partner would have the same standards as me. It's just so freakin hard to find them these days I find.

    Potential boyfriends, drugs and myself are a combination I will never have again. I don't do drugs and I wont have a boyfriend who does them either. Been down that road and had my heart ripped out and stomped on.

    I don't ask for everything. I am content with enough.

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16305

    Nov 15, 2007 1:44 PM GMT
    I think that Jono's comment is going to be representative of many on here. I agree. For me
    the single most important thing is: "Is the person grounded with their life". I can't imagine having a relationship with someone who has a relationship with drugs or prioritizes hookups with others. A heathy lifestyle with a grounded guy ranks.

    Being picky is important. I consider myself very lucky with my choices.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 15, 2007 1:59 PM GMT
    well put, JonoK!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 15, 2007 2:03 PM GMT
    Oh I despise those phrases "what a SHAME oe what a WASTE that you're gay"

    Excuuuuse me?? It is neither shame nor waste that I am gay. I counter with the same comment to the person about heterosexual men, then ask how on earth that comment can be anything but insulting?

    I especially like to use it (if possible) in reference to her own husband or boyfriend. They get the idea quickly that it is offensive. ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 15, 2007 2:17 PM GMT
    What about factors like:

    1) Gays dont date in their teen years and therefore miss out on learning how to form a relationship

    2) Society doesnt send us signals encouraging us to pair off

    3) It is harder to distinguish a gay person in an anonymous crowd...and again society puts a stigma on approaching another man or flirting

    4) Male-Male bonding has two sets of testosterone competing against each other and therefore it is easier for a conflict to tear a relationship apart

    5) There is no societal contract holding a gay couple together during the rough times, so it is easier for a relationship to break up
  • Salubrious

    Posts: 420

    Nov 15, 2007 3:45 PM GMT
    I agree with Caslon's post almost 100%, but I'm still a bit unsure about #4. I think people often don't think about the delayed dating growth of gay men. I think as people come out earlier, it's not as big a deal, but I mean, I came out around 15 or 16, and never really had a serious boyfriend until 18, which only lasted 2 months.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 15, 2007 4:04 PM GMT
    I don’t think your observation regarding “so many hot guys” being single is necessarily true, and might be begging the question. It may seem to you that many of the guys on Real Jock you consider “hot” are in fact single (or claim to be), but that is not what I observe. Remember that what is “hot” to one guy is not what’s perceived as “hot” to everyone. I think Hndsm, Firecat, JonoK, and Caslon make good points. By asking this question it also seems you’re suggesting that “hot” guys, by virtue of being attractive, should be taken more often than they apparently are. There are many reasons why attractive men are single, or choose to be single, as other posters have pointed out.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Nov 16, 2007 12:29 AM GMT
    because they are?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 16, 2007 1:04 AM GMT
    I think it's because of the fact most gay guys want an relationship without the inconveniences of being deemed "obligated" to their partner. Sorry, but a relationship is all about considering the other person, I meet tons of guys who are like "Well, I was in a committed relationship, totally in love with the guy, but I got a job promotion to another city" well obviously you didn't love the guy enough to put your relationship with him before your job. Honestly I think we are our own worst enemies, that most of us would rather be single and have fun, than to feel tied down to one person, which makes it very difficult for those out there who believe and want real, legit relationships without having to compromise with their "significant other's" slutty nature by having a casual relationship. Personally, I'm single because I won't compromise my morals and standards. I know who I am, and I'm very comfortable with myself, and as long as I have double a batteries I'm very fine being single than compromising what I believe in for a guy that's a walking mattress.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 16, 2007 1:07 AM GMT
    QUETION? I don't have an ANWER.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 16, 2007 1:50 AM GMT
    I agree with many of these posts. I never meant anyone to believe that RJ is strictly a "hook-up" site, it is clearly more than that, depending on the intent of the individual users. I can also appreciate the comments from JonoK about "Why are you single?" and statements like "Oh it's a shame you are gay".. "you are a catch etc etc" or some other hetero comment, I have experienced all of them too.
    I believe that many of us are single by the "choices" of our set of "priorities and requirements". Mine may be different from yours. Those qualities may be some personality, physical or other traits or related to activities or finaces or whatever, but they are the "filters" we use to sort the "winners" from everyone else. I believe that nothing is quite as attractive as on a man as a relaxed, open, honest confidence in himself. The definition of "hot" is rather nebulous and is very subjective. Too many, only look at the physical side of this definition. I can totally agree with Firecat's comment about "Some of the most unpleasant people I've met are physically "hot".
    We all set standards for everything in our lives, either consciously or not. Why should selecting our friends, partners, mates or spouses be any less complex. Obviously, this problem is not limited to only gays or lesbians, but takes in everyone, of all orientations, genders, cultures, religions, etc. If it were so easy to find "the right one", the divorce rates would be lower. Maybe gays are the only ones that take the issue of finding the right partner seriously enough to take the time and pains to filter and sort out the one that is right for us! Sometimes you just have to drop the defenses and let "lady luck" have a spin! I salute the couple that have a long history, but did they get there by "research and sorting" or was there an element of luck involved? Maybe a bit of both.icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 16, 2007 1:55 AM GMT
    Great post, Sporty.

    Thanks for the criticism too, Shevy, it gives me a different perspective to consider.

    I agree with a lot of the comments here, and perhaps I should clarify that I used the word "Hot" a little too freely but don't know how to edit the thread title (as my spelling error points out, thanks McGay!)

    icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 16, 2007 2:39 AM GMT
    Dr. Phil has nothing on our man Cas! You go, son!icon_wink.gif
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Nov 16, 2007 2:43 AM GMT
    Because beautiful people are crazy.

    hehehe

    - David
  • liftordie

    Posts: 823

    Nov 16, 2007 3:18 AM GMT
    we are NOT dfrourke !!
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Nov 16, 2007 3:24 AM GMT
    ...maybe a little bit crazy?...

    hehe

    - David
  • liftordie

    Posts: 823

    Nov 16, 2007 3:27 AM GMT
    well.....................icon_lol.gif
  • red_series

    Posts: 136

    Nov 16, 2007 3:36 AM GMT
    Because they haven't met me yet...HA, I couldn't resist.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 16, 2007 3:36 AM GMT
    idk about being beautiful or hot but i am picky. and i have been quite sheltered my entire life so i'm sure i seem a little odd at first impression. there are too many factors as to why one is single and everyone has unique circumstances. i don't judge. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 16, 2007 4:04 AM GMT
    Most true athletes set high standards for themselves across the board. Typically, they are driven, and high achievers.

    That can't be said of most folks.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 16, 2007 4:06 AM GMT
    Not all hot men live close to other hot, intellectually-compatible men. And there is so much more to a person than physical attraction . .

    Such as . . good spellers.