Jun 08, 2009 9:03 PM GMT
Today at the grocery store I passed a serious player and it had me thinking how easy it is for a hot guy to grab my attention. I knew if I were in a gay setting I'd have to see where I would stand with this guy. As it turns out we ended up side by side at the check out counter and a conversation began. He was one of those warm southern men with a thick drawl. We spoke a bit about nutrition as he was buying a lot of veggies. When he mentioned cooking with Olive oil I asked him if he were of Italian decent. I thought it unlikely due to his accent but he honestly looked like a classic Italian hunk. No, I'm a Cherokee mix he said. When he was done buying his goods he said, "it was nice talking to you sir."
Southerners use sir a lot more than the rest of the country. I've been called sir, down here, since my early 30s. I find it to be very respectful but at times it leaves me feeling we are not peers. Of course, I don't see how I could have picked up a guy in a grocery store check out even if I did stand a chance. Hot southern gentlemen always impress me but I’m not sure how much is due to their looks and how much is due to their warm manners.
I've been trying to adjust my taste in men to correspond more to the whole package and less to the physical appearance. I have to accept the fact that most of the smoking hot guys are too young and have too many admires to be worth the chase. What I really want to find is a guy I connect with on many levels. I don't expect sex with a mate to be a porno fantasy but rather tender and affectionate experience. That being said I have to admit that old habits die hard.
I'm finding that in the search for a great companion, exceptionally good looks are a huge distraction. When a guy is hot I can't resist striking up a conversation. When he is average looking I'm more likely to wait for him to make the first move. My initial attraction can increase if a guy has charisma and confidence so it is not like I can’t become attracted to an average guy. But I feel as though I overpower an average looking guy who lacks confidence. On the other hand, if I am very attracted to a guy I can’t help but to give him a break if he is insecure. In fact, I do my best to make him feel more secure. I don’t think this is fair but my behavior feels more instinctive than rational. Unfortunately I think a lot of gay men are worse about this point and often in denial of their own behavior.