DuluthMN saidHere's how we've been 'doing it wrong':
Single-issue activism. ALL we talk about and care about is marriage. Have ANY of you looked around? Most of our relationships are down the drain in 6-24 months. Many of us have NO clue on how to date, how to have relationships, where to meet other gay people; dating 101...we missed out on years of these experiences yet nobody ever talks about how that hinders our chances of finding and keeping a relationship later in life. We're doing everything 10-20 years later than straight people of the same age bracket. We had to wait. For every gay couple I know of who wants to get married I can name about 15 single gay people who've waited a dozen years just to MEET someone decent. They've given up - they don't read about gay marriage because they liken it to a woman who has had a miscarriage and has to sit and look at couples with newborns all the time - it's too painful to talk about and it's too painful to look at. Don't torture them.
Single-issue activism is going to kill the gay community. You will not see any more Marches on Washington because you self-righteous people have alienated about 80% of the gay and lesbian community - how about our other issues: lack of health care, homelessness, suicide, substance abuse, HIV, breast cancer, depression...none of this matters anymore? Or it doesn't matter because it's not YOUR problem? My point is this: gay people make up an incredibly small percentage of people as it is. I guarantee you - if you won't listen to the issues that the rest of us face, you're on your own. That's how it's going to work. Either you stop being so hung up on your own self-importance or the rest of the community will bring you back down to earth while you lose what little rights you thought you were going to gain. Nobody wins when only 5% of the community gets what they want.
What YOU are doing wrong is being self-deprecating. Gays are, in actuality, talking about multiple issues like ENDA and DADT also.
And yes suicide and other issues are always there and there are many organizations that will be glad to get a donation or other help from you. Search these forums and see how often things like suicide depression and illness talked about. And I don't know if it has escaped your notice, but all these things are related.
Did it ever occur to you that the reason so many gays suffer depression and dysfunctionality is BECAUSE society, our families, and even our own government tell us from a young age that gays are defective, sinful, perverted, and not deserving of something as simple as marriage??? The rights gays are fighting for benefit US ALL.
Do you really think that telling gay people that they are self righteous for wanting equality is helping? Do you think the way you correct an abused child is to beat him harder?