Is Online Flirting OK While In A Monogamous Relationship?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 13, 2009 9:39 PM GMT
    I realize this is totally subjective, but want to survey y'all to find out who thinks it's kosher to flirt with other guys online when you've already got a great guy at home.

    Do you do it? Why or why not?

    (UPDATE: Since many visiting the topic won't read all of it, just wanted to say thanks for all the replies and great discussion. (For the record: I ask because I've always dated guys who flirted online and said it was innocent, which in all instances turned out to be not quite the case. I'm now in a great relationship and we are both open about our presence online, but since I've got a bit of a past with these things, I just wanted to find out what the general consensus is. icon_biggrin.gif)
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jun 13, 2009 9:43 PM GMT
    non-serious flirting is perfectly fine with me
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    Jun 13, 2009 9:46 PM GMT
    Timberoo saidnon-serious flirting is perfectly fine with me


    How do you tell if it's serious or non-serious flirting? icon_smile.gif
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    Jun 13, 2009 9:50 PM GMT
    Depends on how you mean flirting. I don't endorse leading other guys on when you can't deliver, and sending messages that you wouldn't want your partner/BF to read.

    How do you define flirting?
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jun 13, 2009 9:53 PM GMT
    tankfactory said
    Timberoo saidnon-serious flirting is perfectly fine with me


    How do you tell if it's serious or non-serious flirting? icon_smile.gif


    if someone says 'let's meet' it's become serious

    I like to flirt with a few guys here, and it's nice when they flirt back with me. It's flattering.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 13, 2009 9:57 PM GMT
    no
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    Jun 13, 2009 9:58 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa saidHow do you define flirting?


    Good question, I suppose that word is pretty nebulous and nefarious icon_lol.gif

    How about the following for conversation's sake:

    - sending sexual messages
    - exchanging suggestive/explicit pictures
    - discussing bedroom habits/preferences
    - webcam sessions
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    Jun 13, 2009 10:00 PM GMT
    tankfactory said
    Red_Vespa saidHow do you define flirting?


    Good question, I suppose that word is pretty nebulous and nefarious icon_lol.gif

    How about the following for conversation's sake:

    - sending sexual messages
    - exchanging suggestive/explicit pictures
    - discussing bedroom habits/preferences
    - webcam sessions



    not at all... thats how i lost someone i loved.... it does nothing for the relationship... unless both people agree that its okay... but its dangerous
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 13, 2009 10:00 PM GMT
    I would ask what's missing from your relationship that one would have to go on line and flirt...it's form of cheating. It's called cyber cheating.

    I would have a huge problem with it. I would not break up with my lover but I would let him know my feelings on the subject for sure.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jun 13, 2009 10:04 PM GMT
    tankfactory said
    Red_Vespa saidHow do you define flirting?


    Good question, I suppose that word is pretty nebulous and nefarious icon_lol.gif

    How about the following for conversation's sake:

    - sending sexual messages
    - exchanging suggestive/explicit pictures
    - discussing bedroom habits/preferences
    - webcam sessions



    I think those things go beyond flirting. To me, web flirting is the same as flirting in person, just text.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 13, 2009 10:12 PM GMT
    I use to think it wasn't until my man found out... Now I don't see the reason to flirt because I wouldn't do nothing with the other person. If I flirt, it dosent go any farther than a compliment. Talking with your partner helps, it has for me. And I've been good ever since
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    Jun 13, 2009 10:31 PM GMT
    tankfactory said
    Red_Vespa saidHow do you define flirting?


    Good question, I suppose that word is pretty nebulous and nefarious icon_lol.gif

    How about the following for conversation's sake:

    - sending sexual messages
    - exchanging suggestive/explicit pictures
    - discussing bedroom habits/preferences
    - webcam sessions


    that and more is all good for us icon_smile.gif
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    Jun 13, 2009 10:54 PM GMT
    tankfactory said
    Timberoo saidnon-serious flirting is perfectly fine with me


    How do you tell if it's serious or non-serious flirting? icon_smile.gif


    Do you get a boner?? that could be a sign that it is serious
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 13, 2009 10:55 PM GMT

    This question is completely subjective. If you know your partner, then don't do anything that will hurt him. And if you do, don't get caught. icon_twisted.gif

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    Jun 13, 2009 11:00 PM GMT
    Talk to your partner and see if it is ok.

    Biologically, men are not built for monogamy. So, to keep us from fucking everything in site we sometimes need a harmless little outlet like flirting with hot guys on the net.

    Though, I am making plans to hunt down and seduce each and every one of you.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jun 13, 2009 11:03 PM GMT
    MunchingZombie said
    Though, I am making plans to hunt down and seduce each and every one of you.


    I'm a short drive away.
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    Jun 14, 2009 12:25 AM GMT
    jake_bh03 said
    tankfactory said
    Red_Vespa saidHow do you define flirting?


    Good question, I suppose that word is pretty nebulous and nefarious icon_lol.gif

    How about the following for conversation's sake:

    - sending sexual messages
    - exchanging suggestive/explicit pictures
    - discussing bedroom habits/preferences
    - webcam sessions



    not at all... thats how i lost someone i loved.... it does nothing for the relationship... unless both people agree that its okay... but its dangerous


    Speaking from the same experience, I have to agree with Jake on this one - these 4 bullet points above are quite unhealthy for a relationship.

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jun 14, 2009 12:32 AM GMT
    I think "nonserious" flirting is cool as Tim said (Timberoo)... the problem is, the recipient may not understand its non serious flirting in some cases.

    I think the best thing to do is always be friendly, open, inviting... and really not flirt. You might get more than you bargained for....
  • Pheo

    Posts: 198

    Jun 14, 2009 12:37 AM GMT
    If a guy cannot be devoted to me, he can get his kicks elsewhere... But he's not giving me those 50 strains of herpes and toying with my heart.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 14, 2009 1:08 AM GMT
    Flirting is flirting, and generally isn't good for relationships.

    Flirting with other guys=jealousy=drama=bad
  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Jun 14, 2009 1:09 AM GMT
    tankfactory said
    Red_Vespa saidHow do you define flirting?


    Good question, I suppose that word is pretty nebulous and nefarious icon_lol.gif

    How about the following for conversation's sake:

    - sending sexual messages
    - exchanging suggestive/explicit pictures
    - discussing bedroom habits/preferences
    - webcam sessions


    I'm not really the jealous type but it would definitely make me question the trust in the relationship. Would I be pissed? For a couple min. but I'd get over it. Would I do it? No I don't even do it when I'm single. I'm not into the whole cyber sex thing.
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    Jun 14, 2009 1:36 AM GMT
    MunchingZombie saidTalk to your partner and see if it is ok.

    Biologically, men are not built for monogamy. So, to keep us from fucking everything in site we sometimes need a harmless little outlet like flirting with hot guys on the net.

    Though, I am making plans to hunt down and seduce each and every one of you.


    Just curious who came up with this whole "biologically" theory. Seems like an easy our for guys that just don't want to be in a committed relationship which is perfectly fine but I hate all the excuses we have come up with to make it seem normal. For me monogamy comes very easily!
  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Jun 14, 2009 2:08 AM GMT
    Chizzad said
    MunchingZombie saidTalk to your partner and see if it is ok.

    Biologically, men are not built for monogamy. So, to keep us from fucking everything in site we sometimes need a harmless little outlet like flirting with hot guys on the net.

    Though, I am making plans to hunt down and seduce each and every one of you.


    Just curious who came up with this whole "biologically" theory. Seems like an easy our for guys that just don't want to be in a committed relationship which is perfectly fine but I hate all the excuses we have come up with to make it seem normal. For me monogamy comes very easily!


    Agreed, I have no problem staying monogamous. I think it's more about self control than DNA.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 14, 2009 2:21 AM GMT
    Its not okay at all in my opinion. Being in a relationship means you have to be completely loyal to your bf/whatever, but what kind of relationship depends on what you and your partner define it to be I guess. It just depends on who you ask icon_smile.gif
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Jun 14, 2009 2:38 AM GMT
    I think it's important to maintain your own sense of self and not everything needs to be (or should be) shared.
    As long as you've no physical meeting with them, not even for something like coffee, then what rule is exactly being broken?