Do you ever just wish you could never feel love?

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  Nov 17, 2007 8:59 AM GMT

  So the point is that Love can be so terribly painful that I'm unsure if I even want to experience it at all. Like if there was a way to choose to not feel love at all (hence no pain) or feel it but also have to deal with it's drawbacks, what would you choose?
  
  I'm starting to wonder if gays are destined to be unhappy or have lives full of emotional pain?
  
  Am I becoming jaded already?....

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  Nov 17, 2007 7:32 PM GMT

  Actually I wish the opposite.. a broken heart may not trust love feelings anymore .. or stop belive in it..
  that what really scares me.. now , it's hard for me to belive that sombody is really in love with me unless he proves it in some way!
  I doubt if there is a love without pain...

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  Nov 17, 2007 7:42 PM GMT

  Yup! it's sad. No one is perfect out there, and I know i'm not perfect. Yet put them together, I expect Magic! ya right.
  Most people have an expectation of "perfect" relationship. maybe if we lower the standard and expatiation of love, and then we'd all be happy.

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• GeorgeNJ
  
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  Nov 18, 2007 1:36 AM GMT

  "There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket -- safe, dark, motionless, airless -- it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."
  
  From C.S. Lewis, "The Four Loves." From near the beginning of Chp. 6, 'Charity'
  
  -----------------------------------------------------
  "I hold it true, whate'er befall;
  I feel it, when I sorrow most;
  'Tis better to have loved and lost
  Than never to have loved at all."
  
  From Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem In Memoriam:27, 1850

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  Nov 18, 2007 2:07 AM GMT

  "O life is a glorious cycle of song
  A medley of extemporanea
  And love is a thing that can never go wrong
  And I am Marie of Roumania"
  --Dorothy Parker
  
  Actually, I don't believe that, and what's more, I don't think she did either.

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  Nov 18, 2007 2:09 AM GMT

  I guess be tough enough not to be ruined by love, but soft enough to fall for it every time and then cherish what is gone, but which you cannot reclaim.
  
  Honestly I don't think you've really experienced love with out pain, and maybe some sort of nostalgia for things and people that no longer are, or at least in your life. Living is not about only the good, but you can live just as fully and deeply with the bad, and the good has no meaning or comparison without the bad, or the painful, and love is an emotion that exerts itself in both the beautiful and painful, but in different and equally meaningful ways.
  
  

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  Nov 19, 2007 3:38 AM GMT

  As much as it can cause pain, it can also be the greatest feeling in the world.
  
  You are too young to be jaded. You may yet find that you love and have it returned.

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  Nov 19, 2007 4:02 AM GMT

  There was a pop song a few years ago that went '...I believe you cant appreciate real love until you’ve been burned...'
  
  I think thats maybe true.
  
  The things we appreciate are the things that cost us dearly. To really experience the highs, you have to have experienced the lows.
  
  It's all part of the experience of life.
  
  No, I would never want to give up a single second of the pain. In some ways, it has gotten me to appreciate the wonder of what I have today.
  
  

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  Nov 19, 2007 4:52 PM GMT

  that's what I'm hoping ITjock....

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• SpartanJock
  
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  Nov 20, 2007 5:18 PM GMT

  ITJockThe things we appreciate are the things that cost us dearly. To really experience the highs, you have to have experienced the lows.
  
  It's all part of the experience of life.
  
  No, I would never want to give up a single second of the pain. In some ways, it has gotten me to appreciate the wonder of what I have today.

  
  
  Amen Brother! You can't have the pure joy of being in love if you have nothing to compare it to. What's even better, being in love allows you to forget the pain of the past, while a recent loss of love only re-emphasizes the joy of love itself.

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  Nov 20, 2007 5:27 PM GMT

  no. every experience are welcome event the bad ones...at the end. the thing are why we go slow for the end?...

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  Nov 20, 2007 5:36 PM GMT

  Love and emotion is the beauty of life my friend! Without it or purposely omitting it from your life is the difference between living and simply existing.
  
  I believe deep emotions such as love in any of it's forms is what seperates humans from basic animal existence. Love in all its forms, be it romantic, fatherly, motherly, or friendship....can and usually is extremely intense. Most people are usually blessed with the capacity to feel and offer it but when its not reciprocated in equal intensity you fall vulnerable to its extremely intense crash!
  
  Without going into detail...realize that your problem is not with Love itself...rather who your offering it to. Never throw away such a beautiful gift...and just as important, never offer such a beautiful gift to one who doesn't appreciate it!
  
  AMB
  
  Chat me up any time if you wish to talk more...

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  Nov 20, 2007 6:31 PM GMT

  Having felt TRUE LOVE and the yearning to feel it again is what keeps me going.
  
  Even if it means risking loosing it again.
  
  LOVE be it romantic or platonic is the most MAGICAL feeling one we as humans can experience.
  
  Hang it there it will come again you just have to remain open to it.

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  Nov 20, 2007 6:42 PM GMT

  Some of us are afraid of loving again just because we've been burned a lot more than we can ever imagine to be.
  
  But then there are those of us who will openly embrace it if comes our way because we have learned lessons from those heartaches that makes the next one much more special than the last.
  
  There's a song on my profile called 'The End' by Jason Reeves. Part of the lyrics I like the most is "Every ending's a new beginning". And it's true.

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  Nov 22, 2007 3:39 PM GMT

  strongbolt what are you basing this on? it sounds like you haven't actually been in love yet, so what on earth are you talking about?
  
  you've said similar things before. why do you think these things only affect gay people?
  
  are you becoming jaded? no. but i think you're well on your way to becoming a drama queen!

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  Dec 02, 2007 3:43 AM GMT

  haha, a drama queen! I hope not. I have loved someone once. Actually it's still kind of going on, but it started less than a year ago. But with this guy it just feels like there is no way that it can actually work permanently. No matter how much love I give, I can tell it will never make him come "out of the closet" and admit to the world how he feels about me. Not to mention that I'm not even sure I could do that myself right now. That's the aspect I'm referring to that straight people dont have to deal with. I cant tell you how many times my dad has tried to set me up with a "nice girl". Maybe next time I should blurt out that I'm only intrested if she's got a dick! lol. Although then I'd have to find a new father....

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  Dec 02, 2007 4:41 AM GMT

  Living the life of a gay man for about 7 years I know what you mean, it does seem hopeless. However, I don't think I'll let that stop me from feeling that way about that special person (yet to find that one but hey).
  
  I think I'd rather fall "head over heels" in love and put everything out there than to keep all the love I know I have inside, even if there's pain afterwards. I think it's what makes you as a person and the you (in a relationship) stronger. Then I think I can say "At least I know I've loved with my all..."

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  Dec 02, 2007 5:07 AM GMT

  In my relationship with Firecat, I say I love him because when he suffers, I suffer. When he is happy, I am happy. I do everything in my power to end his suffering when he is suffering. I do anything I can to make him happy. I feel happiness when I make him happy. I am lost when we are apart and grounded only when we are together.
  
  I grew to have these feelings for him. They didnt happen quickly. The first year we were like aquaintances. The second year we were like friends and I began to feel the tug towards him. I gave into that tug when I found myself being as I described above...He is the sweetest man in the world.
  
  There is love in the gay world.

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• bigguysf
  
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  Dec 02, 2007 5:14 AM GMT

  I admit it. I'm jaded, and pretty much DONE!
  
  Aim low, and expect absolutely nothing.
  Sorry...

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  Dec 02, 2007 7:52 AM GMT

  Pain is one of the greatest teachers, and one of the greatest healers, too. I can't count the times I've been burned, or the ways I've been burned, but I survived the fire and came out stronger and a little bit wiser... and now that I've found real love, I cherish it far more than I would have in the past, because I appreciate how rare it is.
  
  Sure, its scary putting yourself out there, because you don't know if you'll get burned again or if your love will be reciprocated. But if you don't take the chance, you will never know, will you? If you expect nothing, you'll get nothing.
  
  Without the pain of rejection or a love gone wrong, you have no reference from which to truly cherish love gone right. But to believe your happiness depends on how another feels about you is to set yourself up to never find that happiness. Happiness must come from within. Finding someone to love, who loves you in return, is an enhancement to that happiness.
  
  Its not really a gay issue... its a human issue. Everyone, to one degree or another, experiences this kind of thing... and if you'll ask around, you'll find that to be true.
  

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  Dec 04, 2007 5:53 AM GMT

  Fuck love and Pain! I'm just ready to be HAPPY!
  
  In fact I'm going to xtube right now and making my self HAPPY!

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