New gay guy out - start my thread series here. question ONE -- Regarding taking advantage

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 17, 2007 7:04 PM GMT
    Ok, so you guys who know me know that I'm cycling through my "new gay" phases. I watched "Billy's Hollywood Kiss" last night on Logo, and one line that jumped out at me was, "You know what we gay guys are like when we first come out."

    It was like someone took a baseball bat and knocked my head across the street - 14 again, etc.

    Yeah, I'm having fun, I like being able to touch (and grope) other guys, and having them touch and grope me. I've had sex with a few guys in the past three months since I came out, but that's the rub (no pun intended)... I finally realized that they're just taking advantage of my "newly out" status, and using me for personal "satisfaction". Then, they couldn't care less (well, except for one, but that comes later in the explanation).

    Ok, so first question:

    Is this so? Are gay guys really all that shallow? Am I going to be so easily taken advantage of?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 17, 2007 7:12 PM GMT
    Well presumably the sex was mutually satisfying...

    If you want to look for a more serious relationship then you need to set your sights on it and act accordingly. There are plenty of guys out there who are interested in real relationships, you just have to be on the lookout.

  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Nov 17, 2007 7:32 PM GMT
    Aren't you just as guilty of taking advantage of them?

    You're an adult, hopefully so are they. If you're going to opt to have casual sex, don't expect the other guy to follow your unspoken expectations.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 18, 2007 1:06 PM GMT
    I also came out, just over a month ago and have since been with 3 guys, all of which just used me for sex. Yeh, I did enjoy it, but they all said the same thing before we had sex, "yeh I really like you, I reckon we should give it a go" or something along those lines. Now I refuse to do anything with anyone until i know them properly. They all fed me crap to get me into bed, i know not all guys are like that, but it did make me think that to some guys, being gay was all just about the sex ... I got burnt, but at least now i am 100% positive that I am gay ... I think it was good in a way, but I was really upset, especially after the 3rd guy who kept it going for a week or so before going cold on me.