People that mean well, but are habitual liars.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 25, 2009 3:28 PM GMT
    Maybe I'm not the only one that has this issue. I'd just like to know if anyone else out there has a person in their life that does that.

    Now I'm not exactly going to address them as a friend, but they definitely mean well. It's people who habitually lie on a regular basis to make themselves seem more impressionable or admirable.

    For instance, my friend Mitchell has a friend that lies about knowing 16 different martial arts and has mastered every one of them down to perfection; however, when asked to demonstrate a style, his stances are not correct and his execution is not at all perfect in the slightest.

    This type of person will lie about even the most common sense things like they died in a hospital bed 15 times. They jumped off the Empire State Building and lived. They swallowed kitchen cleaner and it didn't harm them.

    lol Just stupid things to get you to admire them more than you're trying to do.

    I don't know. I understand that he means well, that he just wants someone to take him seriously or admire him for being himself... but I don't think that lying is the best way to go about it.


    Any of you know people like this? What would be the most appropriate way to address this with them?
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13999

    Jun 25, 2009 3:33 PM GMT
    SoulasphyxiaWhat would be the most appropriate way to address with them?


    Really? Good for you. Anyway.....(and change the subject)
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    Jun 25, 2009 3:36 PM GMT
    YES.

    He became the class joke. Sad really. His parents were the 'poor relations' of a very wealthy family. His mom and dad are estranged too I think. That's probably where it all started.

    He had loads of mythical cousins who was this or that, owns this or that, have done this or that, etc. He earned the nickname 'hangin' (literally 'wind') for it, and 'pawikan' (green sea turtle) because of the way he walks (hunched over with an affected swagger) and his given name (Paolo).

    I think I'm one of the few people he still consider as friends. Unlike most of the rest of my mates, I've never really 'played' with him. Whenever he starts fibbing I just try and steer the subject away. In contrast to my friends who would latch unto it, and try to make him give the lie away then laugh at him. I just thought it was pointless and cruel. The guy had issues, and doing that kinda just pushed him even farther away.
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    Jun 25, 2009 3:41 PM GMT
    Soulasphyxia saidAny of you know people like this? What would be the most appropriate way to address with them?

    Yep, an ex-BF. And the damn thing is that he's actually quite impressive in his own right, without all the impossible lies he tells about himself. He's fairly successful and highly functional, and has more money than I do, but it just doesn't seem to be enough for him.

    Which perhaps suggests that such people aren't all dead-beats, just victims of their own low self-esteem, that they have to manufacture imaginary lives for themselves. I still like this guy, BTW, he's generous, sweet & charming, just have to filter out all the tall tales he spins. And I never challenge or confront him about them; it's enough for me that I can figure out the truth for myself.
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    Jun 25, 2009 7:23 PM GMT
    I had an ex like this, and have a friend like this. The ex lied about everything. He had a college degree. He went to paralegal school. He once had long hair, his mother cut it off in his sleep (very Flowers in the Attic), and it never grew back. That is why he is bald now. It was just ridiculous. At the end, I found out he was doing coke.

    The friend that is the habitual liar. He once fought martial arts in Thailand. Another time, he met this girl on the beach and fucked her on a turtle. He and the girl thought that the turtle was a rock until it started moving, but they kept on having sex. I could go on and on.

    But I usually just give him a bullshit look, and keep it rolling.
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    Jun 25, 2009 8:21 PM GMT
    Wow, very entertaining tales. How stupid do they think people are?

    I tend to question the details so that the lies fall apart. Or I'd just say "I don't believe it". I won't accuse them of lying. I guess because of this these guys don't hang with me. icon_neutral.gif
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    Jun 25, 2009 8:24 PM GMT
    Soulasphyxia saidFor instance, my friend Mitchell has a friend that lies about knowing 16 different martial arts and has mastered every one of them down to perfection; however, when asked to demonstrate a style, his stances are not correct and his execution is not at all perfect in the slightest.


    I had an aquaintance that had a similar lie. He would warn us "guys, don't wake me in my sleep. My training might kick in and I am not responsible for what I do."

    So you know what we did. We beat the shit out of him. Wrestle him to the ground and put him in a lock until he cries, sort of thing. The best way to stop a liar is to expose their lies. And the funnest lie to expose is that one.

    Don't hit the face now.
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Jun 25, 2009 8:32 PM GMT
    "People that mean well, but are habitual liars. "

    Um...this is called POLITICS...so, I think you know where you can steer these folks!

    - David icon_wink.gif
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9191

    Jun 25, 2009 10:31 PM GMT
    Don't just change the subject. Just don't respond. You will find the twisted humor in watching him get frustrated...severely.
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    Jun 25, 2009 10:38 PM GMT
    I just ignore everything that causes the sensors in my head to blip. People won't continue bad behavior if it goes unnoticed.
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    Jul 01, 2009 2:55 AM GMT
    Call his ass a f@@kin liar. Quit feeding the fire. You can always say it more politely like, "you are so full of sh@t" "yeah right" "whatever dude"

    Tell him you set up a match with another martial arts instructor. Make him sweat and regret lying for a week or two. Then when he cancels for a stupid reason, he will also rethink lying bout shit cause he almost had to prove it.

    Now excuse me. Jake Gylenhaal and Shia Labeouff have been begging me for sex all night. Where are my lambourghini keys....
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    Jul 01, 2009 2:59 AM GMT
    MunchingZombie saidI had an aquaintance that had a similar lie. He would warn us "guys, don't wake me in my sleep. My training might kick in and I am not responsible for what I do."


    I have to warn guys for a similar reason, I wont know what will happen, I might get all snuggly with'em and pull'em into bed with me or I might get aggro and tell'em to f off or I could get horny and drag'em into bed kicking and screaming or I might not do anything at all

    it can be a dangerous experience waking me up
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    Jul 01, 2009 3:09 AM GMT
    lilTanker said
    it can be a dangerous experience waking me up


    I'm willing to risk it. BTW, that's not a lie.
  • ChilaxinJOCK0...

    Posts: 1513

    Jul 01, 2009 3:13 AM GMT
    yea. my good friend is like that sometimes. I know that hes just kinda insecure and trying to boost his self esteem
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 01, 2009 3:23 AM GMT
    My ex was a habitual liar, lied about his past, his job, his family, ex-boyfriends, etc. Recently bumped into his bf before me and found out even more lies I hadn't known about.

    No other way to deal with these people than to cut them out of your life. Sad, but it helped preserve my sanity.