Are you your own toughest critique?


  • Jun 26, 2009 12:03 PM GMT
    So I woke up this morning, about to go to head to an exam for math which I knew nothing about. I looked over the material to realize that, having an 8am class forty miles from where you live and having to wake up two hours earlier then the class just to stroll in on time, IN THE MIDDLE OF SUMMER IN SOUTH FLORIDA was maybe not worth it? Today was the last day to drop classes with no consequences and since I did two classes the first half of summer (hell) I dropped this one. To be honest, I haven't seen summer in years, and I've been going through so much that I just needed a break. Sure, I can tack on one extra class in the fall or spring and still graduate on time but I feel like such a failure being 22 without my BA degree yet.

    Maybe this isn't a big deal, but to me it is. I'm always just so self critical. Help?
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jun 26, 2009 12:16 PM GMT
    quarterlifecrisis said

    I feel like such a failure being 22 without my BA degree yet.

    Maybe this isn't a big deal, but to me it is. I'm always just so self critical. Help?


    To begin with, the idea you are 22 and don't have a Bachlors degree is really a little ridiculous. I mean, lets be serious for a minute.

    I'm VERY self critical and when I was younger I was worse. Believe it or not,
    when I was 22, I dropped a class, the first one I had ever dropped, when I was in the final stages of the completion of my second Bachlors degree.
    Yeah, I got my first one when I was 21, but it doesn't really matter if I was 21 or 23... the point is, you are seriously working toward a goal.. and I assume will be completed soon.

    Life doesn't follow directions. After the completion of my law degree,
    I decided to change paths and began study for my Series 7 (stockbroker
    license)... you WILL have to change direction at some point (or choose to).
    How you handle yourself and those changes is whats important... not to assess whether you "bliew it" with your earlier decisions.

    Take a minute and do a reassessment. We all need a little time to enjoy life. If you can take the class later, make sure to do it then and enjoy your summer. You are only 22 once.... once you complete you education (with your Bachlors or an advanced degree), you will be focused on your career
    and may not be able to have a summer like this one.... trust me, take the time.

    And be realistic in your assessments, I was way over the top (and um, some still say I'm way overcritical even now). It can be destructive and cost you happiness in the end. Stay balanced!! Congrats on all your efforts btw...
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    Jun 26, 2009 12:56 PM GMT
    I was a university student adviser. In fact, I was the initial adviser for every transfer student who hadn't yet declared a major, over 100 of them at any given time. I helped them make their initial class schedules, and also pitched in during Summer incoming Freshman registration, which ran 6 weeks, helping hundreds more make their Fall schedules, too.

    One of the things I tried to impress on students was that the traditional 8-semester, 4-year undergraduate model is not a law. While certain programs did follow a strict sequence, and some courses were only offered every other semester, for other degree work a student had some flexibility. Many students are still thinking in terms of the high school model of rigid dates, and the fear of being "left behind." But college isn't like that. The goal isn't just finishing a race on time, but producing a good GPA, to be more competitive upon graduation.

    For some students, especially those who had to hold a job while in college (and that was a lot of my older, "non-traditional" advisees), it was a better strategy to pace themselves with a lighter course load, that might not get them finished as quickly. It doesn't do any good to cram courses if you end up failing, or getting barely passing grades.

    At the same time, some had their own personal schedules, of when they wanted to enter the job market, and were also using sources of funding that had termination dates or were otherwise limited. So that they had practical reasons to complete by a certain fixed date. All these were factors to consider in planning out a degree program. And reaching burn-out is a perfectly good reason to take a little breather.

    Being 22 is not a failure. Half of my advisees were older than that, and their greater maturity and better study habits allowed them to run circles around their younger "traditional" counterparts coming fresh out of high school. That always amazed them, because they'd come to me all apprehensive about being unable to return & compete in the classroom at their older age. And I'd tell them that was a myth, that most of them would thrive beyond their expectations, and most did.

  • Jun 26, 2009 1:00 PM GMT
    Yeah. I also hold a job for probably on of the world's most successful companies ever.
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    Jun 26, 2009 11:15 PM GMT
    Being self-critical is not a bad thing, because most people will not tell you their criticism of you, you need to discover it. However, don't let it go to the point of being neurotic. There is a healthy balance between self-confidence and self-criticism.
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    Jun 26, 2009 11:22 PM GMT
    I think you mean critic not critique. It is also narcissist not narcissiste.
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    Jun 26, 2009 11:28 PM GMT
    quarterlifecrisis said...I feel like such a failure being 22 without my BA degree yet.

    I would say dont waste your money on an education that you dont know you want yet. But you might want to take courses in different fields until you find the one that grabs you. Or you might want to look into shorter certificate programs in the meantime so that you are garnering some education "credit" for your resume until you settle on your degree field.
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    Jun 27, 2009 12:07 AM GMT
    An interviewer asked Katherine Hepburn that began with "You're your own worst critic..."
    KH cut her off with "On the contrary. I'm quite charitable of my own work."
    icon_lol.gif

    I loved that ole lady.
    (sorry, off topic)