Does anyone date anymore?

  • sportsjockla

    Posts: 498

    Jun 27, 2009 4:33 PM GMT
    I find it very hard to just go out on a date anymore. Even just to meet for coffee. Seems everyone just wants sex. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Do you prefer to have sex first and see what happens later, or meet first and see what happens?
  • TallGWMvballe...

    Posts: 1925

    Jun 27, 2009 4:55 PM GMT
    As a hopeless romantic, I LOVE to date.... have coffee, movie, dinner, lunch and see where it goes.
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    Jun 27, 2009 7:08 PM GMT
    My experience is that there is far less dating as you get older. It is also more difficult to make new gay friends. Single gay guys presumably have friends and just want a lover so if I meet a guy and he likes me sexually and I only like him as a friend I'll never hear from him again. If it is the other way around friendship stands a chance because I have so few gay friends.

    I believe there are plenty of younger guys who would like to have sex with a fit older guy but are too spooked by the age difference to actually want to date one. These leaves the fit older men believing they can get in a relationship with someone much younger as a reward for keeping themselves in such good shape. In chasing the younger guys they may be getting laid but are not dating the guys their own age.
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    Jun 27, 2009 7:13 PM GMT

    Be like me and hold out for the ones who want to date.
    They often turn out to be better in bed than the anxious ones, tend to take their time just like it's an extension of your dates: studying you, getting to know your likes, and exploiting that knowledge, mmmm.

  • sportsjockla

    Posts: 498

    Jun 27, 2009 10:14 PM GMT
    I usually have to insist on meeting first. Especially if I meet online
  • Pheo

    Posts: 198

    Jun 28, 2009 1:08 AM GMT
    sportsjockla saidI find it very hard to just go out on a date anymore. Even just to meet for coffee. Seems everyone just wants sex. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Do you prefer to have sex first and see what happens later, or meet first and see what happens?


    Meet first and see what happens. See, with my ex... We met online and I moved here to LA and now he's running scared now because it was working. I'm not saying he's my BF anymore because of this. I'd want nothing more than to meet someone for coffee and see if they want me and stuff... Snuggle afterwords or watch a movie with my head resting on his shoulders and his arm around me. Unfortunately there are too many man harlots walking about LA.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jun 28, 2009 1:13 AM GMT
    I miss dating.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Jun 28, 2009 4:08 AM GMT
    Sex first. Get the physical curiosity out of the way, then we can see what else we have in common.
  • TallGWMvballe...

    Posts: 1925

    Jun 28, 2009 4:16 AM GMT
    friendormate saidMy experience is that there is far less dating as you get older. It is also more difficult to make new gay friends. Single gay guys presumably have friends and just want a lover so if I meet a guy and he likes me sexually and I only like him as a friend I'll never hear from him again. If it is the other way around friendship stands a chance because I have so few gay friends.

    I believe there are plenty of younger guys who would like to have sex with a fit older guy but are too spooked by the age difference to actually want to date one. These leaves the fit older men believing they can get in a relationship with someone much younger as a reward for keeping themselves in such good shape. In chasing the younger guys they may be getting laid but are not dating the guys their own age.



    Hmmm, you make some valid points.
    I see guys at volleyball all the time and on line that would appear to be very compatible in every way, but all they see is the age difference.
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    Jun 28, 2009 4:45 AM GMT
    I like going on dates and I LOVE to be romanced...it gives me the butterflies-inside-my-chest feeling. I like to court and be courted, it makes the sex later feel a little savage, like something you'd find in the animal kingdom...do the dance, court the date, then fuck his brains out haha icon_rolleyes.gif

    If the date sucked, or if we find nothing to talk about, he won't hear from me again...

    And I have had the sex-first-then-date thing happen to me...currently in one, BUT I like how things are going, so does it matter?
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    Jun 28, 2009 5:01 AM GMT
    If the date sucked, or if we find nothing to talk about, he won't hear from me again...


    I was warned about sex first dates not going beyond the first date. i didn't really believe it . Now that it has happened to me i really wonder how someone can become so emotionally dead to not even communicate that there is not going to be another date.
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    Jun 28, 2009 6:15 AM GMT
    Alpha13 saidIf the date sucked, or if we find nothing to talk about, he won't hear from me again...


    I was warned about sex first dates not going beyond the first date. i didn't really believe it . Now that it has happened to me i really wonder how someone can become so emotionally dead to not even communicate that there is not going to be another date.


    well, that's also happened to me...so i know how it feels first hand...it leaves you wondering what went wrong, etc. i shouldnt have worded it like that, i'll at least call or text, but what i meant is spending another another date on him
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    Jun 28, 2009 6:25 AM GMT
    sorry if that sounded cold and you aren't like that. . Yeah I can't believe that they can't tell you that face to face but not even to text....that is just wrong.
  • DrewT

    Posts: 1327

    Jun 28, 2009 6:55 AM GMT
    I don't think guy are looking to date, which I find very interesting. All guys just want to hook up. BUT those same guys want a perfect romance too, then just don't want to put the effort in, I don't think.

    In this world, it's really hard to find anyone willing to wait. Everyone is used to getting what they want right now.

    Manhunt, craigslist etc, are like a pizza store, you order what you want, and you get it within 30 minutes (well maybe not, but you get the drift).
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    Jun 28, 2009 7:05 AM GMT
    Simply_Drew saidI don't think guy are looking to date, which I find very interesting. All guys just want to hook up. BUT those same guys want a perfect romance too, then just don't want to put the effort in, I don't think.

    In this world, it's really hard to find anyone willing to wait. Everyone is used to getting what they want right now.

    Manhunt, craigslist etc, are like a pizza store, you order what you want, and you get it within 30 minutes (well maybe not, but you get the drift).


    Yep, i think you nailed the dichotomy. Kinda like how GM got in trouble spending billions...yes billions. on market research that told them what people "wanted" rather than what people will actually buy.
  • scothman

    Posts: 153

    Jun 28, 2009 7:05 AM GMT
    I think that both of your options seem to indicate sex. I am not one that is obsessed with the whole sex scene that confronts us on a daily basis. I am more of the guy that would prefer an intellectual/emotional connection. I don't think sex needs to come in the picture right away. I am not saying that sex is not great in any way; I am merely saying that there should be more than the two options that you present.
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    Jun 28, 2009 7:07 AM GMT
    OK, its my turn. Jus sayin...

    Most of u all have no idea wut love is. I understand we all go through shit however, It is is unclear to me the division. I have been on this site for a while and WOW! Nice guys, bodies, opinions but... why is it still that U fools keep talking. Tell Me, If u were to find a nice guy, that u like and then found out that he was poz, black, black latino or wut? Understand you Gringos, We Latinos come in colors,,we ar not Ricky Ricardo or Cristgina, wut would u say or do?
    .
    I hope this goes out to all of u, I am very curious to read it beain a dark latino man. Despite the fact that OBAMA is Prez and u may have voted for him but still, u all put your shit on darker Latinos, Blcks, etc..I think it is sad and fucked up. THINK! Its ok to fuck us but not or ever to dine with MOM?

    Look at my pic and u may understand just alitgtle bit
  • scothman

    Posts: 153

    Jun 28, 2009 7:31 AM GMT
    Now this confuses me. I thought we were talking about dating/sex. Why did you jump in with race? Do you realize that race was not brought up until you joined in? Are you accusing of racism? If so, I believe you should re-examine yourself and try to decide who the real racists is. There are so many people that jump straight to racism no matter what the situation is. These people are the true racists that just perpetuate the problem. The majority of the racial problems these days come from the "discriminated". They constantly bring up small issues and blame racism for them when in reality, it is not the case. I am not saying that there is not racism because there is plenty of it: However, when it is a constant topic, it is just further the fire. Take affirmative action for example. By putting these "safe guards" into place, we are just defining that there is a difference between races. Requiring a certain amount of Hispanics, African Americans, or whatever into a university is just showing society that there are differences between all these people. Why don't we just take the entire question off the application. Why should we care who is getting in. Simply look at the scores and go at that. What I am trying to say is not coming out clearly because it is better spoken but I think you can get a rough idea and fill in the blacks. I just wish people would stop jumping to conclusions, or even just accusing people when it is completely uncalled for.

    dom42 saidOK, its my turn. Jus sayin...

    Most of u all have no idea wut love is. I understand we all go through shit however, It is is unclear to me the division. I have been on this site for a while and WOW! Nice guys, bodies, opinions but... why is it still that U fools keep talking. Tell Me, If u were to find a nice guy, that u like and then found out that he was poz, black, black latino or wut? Understand you Gringos, We Latinos come in colors,,we ar not Ricky Ricardo or Cristgina, wut would u say or do?
    .
    I hope this goes out to all of u, I am very curious to read it beain a dark latino man. Despite the fact that OBAMA is Prez and u may have voted for him but still, u all put your shit on darker Latinos, Blcks, etc..I think it is sad and fucked up. THINK! Its ok to fuck us but not or ever to dine with MOM?

    Look at my pic and u may understand just alitgtle bit
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 28, 2009 7:44 AM GMT
    I have to date. I just don't enjoy the sex 1/10th as much if I haven't established I like their personality.

    The 'hook-ups' that I've had - and there have only been a few - were all proceeded by 1-2 hours of talking and maybe having a drink or dinner. The more I got to know the person, the more likely I was to enjoy the sex.

    The most hook-upish event I had was with a mid-40's Medical Doc - probably a surgeon. Hot, Hot. Met on Craigslist of all things. Easily could have been photoed for an underwear ad. 5'11' thick dark hair, light olive skin, v-shaped torso, 30"waist, hung! 8" thick. Not out. We made guarded small talk at a diner for about 30 minutes then went back to my apartment. Making out lead to the bedroom. But during the sex, I just lost interest in the guy because I knew so little about him - I just began to feel really awkward having sex with a stranger.

    I wasn't sure hooking up would work for me, but I tried it to learn something about myself - what I learned was that sex with strangers is creepy to me.

  • captproton

    Posts: 316

    Jun 28, 2009 8:01 AM GMT
    I would love to date. But it's so damn hard trying to find a way to meet guys who are interested. I chat with a lot of guys on here who seem like the types I could have fun with--fun in all its permutations.

    But everyone lives so damn far away.

    And the personal ads locally all seem to want guys "under 30 and hung." Well, I really wonder how many of those are on Craigslist to begin with? And I don't qualify in one aspect. I mean, I left 30 long ago.

    **Note to OHHiker: can I have the doc's phone number? I think he's due for a physical.
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    Jun 28, 2009 8:06 AM GMT
    I have tried dating, but I seem undesirable here lately.
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    Jun 28, 2009 9:04 AM GMT
    I def. wouldn't be pushing for sex right off the bat. If he did it might happen. I much prefer getting to know them at least a little. I think it would be better if you actually cared about the person (the sex that is).
  • baldone

    Posts: 826

    Jun 28, 2009 11:54 AM GMT
    the whole romantic thing, dating,dinner,picnics,movies,candle lit dinners, innocent kissing and eventually seeing where it goes
  • Pheo

    Posts: 198

    Jun 28, 2009 7:17 PM GMT
    Alpha13 saidIf the date sucked, or if we find nothing to talk about, he won't hear from me again...


    I was warned about sex first dates not going beyond the first date. i didn't really believe it . Now that it has happened to me i really wonder how someone can become so emotionally dead to not even communicate that there is not going to be another date.


    The story of my life too. It's because they are cowards.
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    Jun 28, 2009 7:21 PM GMT
    Alpha13 saidIf the date sucked, or if we find nothing to talk about, he won't hear from me again...


    I was warned about sex first dates not going beyond the first date. i didn't really believe it . Now that it has happened to me i really wonder how someone can become so emotionally dead to not even communicate that there is not going to be another date.


    isn't this the gay MO?

    We all complain and claim that we don't do this. Yet this is very prevalent in our community. how could it be so prevalent if it's not done so often?