Is 6 months hiatus too long to wait for a relationship?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 28, 2009 1:51 AM GMT
    Well my boyfriend has a complicated life - he is an Aussie with US citizenship, and works primarily in the US.

    I'm usually fine with him heading over for 4-6 weeks for some work every 3 months, but he has decided to take on a project in Puerto Rico for 6 months.

    He may be back 3 times in that period but only for a short period.

    Am I stupid thinking I can wait that long while he is overseas working? Or is it time to move on?

    We've been going out now for around 12 months, there is nothing wrong with the relationship except the whole travelling thing. It's really doing my head in and I understand the work he does seems to only come from the contacts he has overseas but it just doesn't feel fair on me to have to wait all the time.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 28, 2009 2:00 AM GMT
    no one can tell you what you want to do..

    being in a relationship with a traveling partner is a hard thing to deal with, but you get used to it and eventually you come to enjoy the times you spend apart however that sort of travel early in the relationship wouldn't have been for me, it was only after a few years that it all started..

    if he's committed to the relationship, wont's to see it work too and works for it to happen, then good, however that fact that your questioning it leaves questions.

    if you love him and i mean really love him without doubt, fear or concern, you'll do fine and just learn to deal with it. thats the way a relationship is.. it sucks sometimes but you deal with it.

    if you are finding it more effort then its worth, then you might need to reevaluate how things are working for you.
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    Jun 28, 2009 2:58 AM GMT
    Well I know I want to give it a try but there is this nagging feeling in the back of my mind telling me I'm crazy, I'm just making up excuses.

    But yeah I love him but having only spent three months of the year in the same country so far is really starting to bug me. Not only that be he does seem to have this totally different life overseas that I can only sit back and watch from a distance.

    I'm not scared he's going to meet someone else or forget me, that is definitely not a concern. But surely we should have spent at least more than 30% of this year together if it's any kind of relationship?
  • HndsmKansan

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    Jun 28, 2009 3:09 AM GMT
    Well what happens after the 6 months? Is he back for good? How does his job bode for the future... could this all happen again?

    Probably a little hard to advise you since we don't know all the details (and know you or him)... how well do you communicate as a couple?

    Are you both the same age? Curious.. and one other question..
    Why do you have "single" in your profile?

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    Jun 28, 2009 3:39 AM GMT
    time is insignificant, its more important that the time you spend together is quality time, you can spend an hour with some person and be more forfilled from that one single hour then you can spending a month with another person and still walk out of it lacking.

    there comes a point where you have to stop questioning everything and just accept it and enjoy it, if it feels right, then enjoy the feeling and stop questioning it.

    To many questions kill the good stuff.

    If you both want it, if you both are willing, then stop with the questions and go for it or your going to kill something good.
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    Jun 28, 2009 5:24 AM GMT
    Don't let preconceived notions of what a relationship should look like determine your decision.

    What's the worst that can happen? Maybe after 6 months, he returns and you find that it doesn't work out. So?

    If you're happy, don't burden yourself with what-ifs and what-shoulds.

    If he's traveling for some reason to avoid you, or if you hesitate for some other reason, then you should give it a bit more of a think.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 28, 2009 5:38 AM GMT
    6 months!!!!!!!!!

    icon_lol.gif

    is very short time!!!!

    My waiting itme is (counting) 4 years and 4 months
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    Jun 28, 2009 8:28 AM GMT
    Can you visit him? Puerto Rico is a long way away from Sydney, but if you have a little extra money, would it be worth your while to take a little trip?

    I'm not saying you must, but if it is possible, try it.
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    Jun 28, 2009 8:30 AM GMT
    syrjoe saidDon't let preconceived notions of what a relationship should look like determine your decision.

    What's the worst that can happen? Maybe after 6 months, he returns and you find that it doesn't work out. So?

    If you're happy, don't burden yourself with what-ifs and what-shoulds.

    If he's traveling for some reason to avoid you, or if you hesitate for some other reason, then you should give it a bit more of a think.



    No the travelling not to avoid me it's just his job. It seems him having lived in the US for 20 something years has left him with most of his contacts in the US so that's where a majority of his work comes from. This time a friend has offered him a project in Puerto Rico.

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    Jun 28, 2009 8:31 AM GMT
    HndsmKansan said
    Why do you have "single" in your profile?


    You know I never really though to update it. Then again I when is a relationship a relationship. Is there an option for "It's beyond complicated"?
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    Jun 28, 2009 8:32 AM GMT
    mickeytopogigio saidCan you visit him? Puerto Rico is a long way away from Sydney, but if you have a little extra money, would it be worth your while to take a little trip?

    I'm not saying you must, but if it is possible, try it.


    yeah I guess that's an option, but thing is I've used up a lot of my leave already making trips to the US (another trip in August) so I guess I may be able to squeeze at least one week in.

    At the end of the day I keep asking myself how much do I want this to work? Am I stupid for waiting 6 months?
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    Jun 28, 2009 8:33 AM GMT
    chelipe said6 months!!!!!!!!!

    icon_lol.gif

    is very short time!!!!

    My waiting itme is (counting) 4 years and 4 months


    Heh, I guess your right there. icon_smile.gif