FORUMS > Dating & Relationships Forum Rules

If everyone is supposed to be practicing safe sex and all that jazz....would you date a Poz guy or would it be to risky for you?

I'm HIV- and I would and have. Met an amazing guy that was POZ. I definitely had some hesitation at first and told him I would have to think about it before dating, but I appreciated his honesty upfront. I decided after some research, that I could manage the risks. Safe sex is safe sex.

Many guys that are POZ have such low viral loads, that the risk is very low. But again, safe sex is safe sex. It's been said in many forum posts that you should just assume everyone is POZ, because most guys don't know for sure and the price is pretty damned high for reckless behavior. I guess we all have our risk thresholds; we just have to know what they are and live with the consequences.

Not knowingly, no

yup did and married to someone who is poz. It has never been an issue or a problem for us regarding our status of poz/neg.

I think everyone needs to look at what they really want out of live, some people fear loss and worry they would loss their lover to HIV, others worry about converting. But for my self I an willing to experience loss of love to be w/ someone I really and deeply in love with.

I know of some guys who are now in their 50s and alone because they were too scared to put themselves out there and love someone regardless of their status.

Of course. What a silly question this is.

BigSETXjock saidOf course. What a silly question this is.

dont think the question is silly at all. Reading information about poz guys dating and there is a tremendous amout of rejection involved. It has got to take a toll on someone after awhile.

It seems as gay people we are all put into one group and damned to hell by everyone else, but yet we are the first ones to cast the first stone at someone else, say poz people, amazing how that works.

If you are practicing safe sex it shouldnt matter if the person is poz or not.

redbull said

BigSETXjock saidOf course. What a silly question this is.

dont think the question is silly at all. Reading information about poz guys dating and there is a tremendous amout of rejection involved. It has got to take a toll on someone after awhile.

It seems as gay people we are all put into one group and damned to hell by everyone else, but yet we are the first ones to cast the first stone at someone else, say poz people, amazing how that works.

If you are practicing safe sex it shouldnt matter if the person is poz or not.

wouldn't most guys say they were practicing safe sex yet became hiv poz?

for the last 15 years....

Of course I would and have with no regrets or concerns.

BigSETXjock saidOf course. What a silly question this is.

excellent response!

when we talk about sex it really isnt "safe sex" is is "safer sex" which is knowing the risk and deciding what your comfortable with.

I agree w/ Bigsetxjock in that after almost 30 years of HIV being around in the community, this type of question is still being asked?

HIV is treatable disease (lack of better word) and if people take care of their body, eat right, get rest and take their meds will be fine.

Now I know some people are scared of lossing someone they love as a spouse/bf/lover, but just being hiv neg doesnt guarntee you will not still lose them to a disease or illness.

If your worried about converting, then take the proper steps to protect yourself.

But what I really think this boils down to, is are you willing to give love a chance and how much are you willing to risk for love.

No ma'am Pam

sure

Yes I would. God doesn't promise us tomorrow, so why not live and love for today! POZ men are still men, who have feelings and need love too. yes, me being HIV - I would date a HIV+ man.

MadeNUSA said

redbull said

BigSETXjock saidOf course. What a silly question this is.

dont think the question is silly at all. Reading information about poz guys dating and there is a tremendous amout of rejection involved. It has got to take a toll on someone after awhile.

It seems as gay people we are all put into one group and damned to hell by everyone else, but yet we are the first ones to cast the first stone at someone else, say poz people, amazing how that works.

If you are practicing safe sex it shouldnt matter if the person is poz or not.

wouldn't most guys say they were practicing safe sex yet became hiv poz?

No...you're so wrong. Most guys that became HIV+ usually slipped up and didn't use condoms. All the people I know that are positive didn't use a condom and that's why they have it.

That's why condoms work. DUH!

No

Once upon a time when I was an ignorant gayling and this question was posted, I said 'No'.

Now it's a resounding: Yes, doh.

Sure, after all my friends always compare me to Micheal from Queer as Folk

Depends on the guy and how he handles it.

Sedative saidOnce upon a time when I was an ignorant gayling and this question was posted, I said 'No'.

Now it's a resounding: Yes, doh.

Once upon a time I assumed everyone was as ignorant as I-- and I made a mistake misjudging and assuming.

Just because you said 'no' for your own reasons when YOU were young and ignorant, does not mean that they are the same reasons I said no.

It's sad to see that in 2009 there are still many people who will NOT date someone who's HIV+.

I'm a healthy HIV+ man for 19 yrs, VL undetectable and T cells mid 500's - and STILL stopped getting emails from men - who initially showed a lot of interest in getting to know me better... after finding out my status! I respect it, but have a hard time understanding it. SAFE sex is THE only sex we should have... regardless of our status!

I don't think it's a silly question... only silly to reject someone because of being POZ.

Not an issue ...

(uh that means yeah I would)

I currently am dating a positive man, so yes.

for those who say No, why is it afraid of lossing someone or converting or another reason? Just wondering.

ASUbusy said

Sedative saidOnce upon a time when I was an ignorant gayling and this question was posted, I said 'No'.

Now it's a resounding: Yes, doh.

Once upon a time I assumed everyone was as ignorant as I-- and I made a mistake misjudging and assuming.

Just because you said 'no' for your own reasons when YOU were young and ignorant, does not mean that they are the same reasons I said no.

Once upon a time I did not actually condemn people for saying 'no', now did I? When I said 'ignorant gayling' I only meant ME. I did not know enough about it to make my own decision. So chill.

P.S. If you're wondering why I even mentioned that once my answer was different, it's because that answer was here on RealJock, on a similar thread, a year ago.