Dads who pretend to be trainers!


  • Jun 29, 2009 10:41 PM GMT
    Ok so I've noticed a disturbing trend lately at the gym and that is dads who pretend to be trainers for their kids. I'm not a big fan of young kids (12-14 range) weight lifting seriously to begin with but what gets me is dads who start training their kids but are showing their kids how to do a machine the wrong way or are showing their kids very bad form. And for some reason it's always a dad who looks like he's never seen a gym either.

    Young kids already have softer bones and less muscle mass and the potential for injury with bad form could increase the likelihood of injury even more. My question is if you saw one of these situations would you say anything to prevent any injury to the kid?
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    Jun 29, 2009 11:14 PM GMT
    No. Never tell a parent how to be a parent. Especially if you don't have kids of your own.

    I think the general rule applies here.. mind your own business and don't give unsolicited workout advice.

    You should only step in if you see the kid writhing in pain or discomfort while performing a sloppy exercise.
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    Jun 30, 2009 1:47 AM GMT
    You, know - from the title - I thought you were going in a totally different direction. but I guess I must chalk this up to my dirty mind. I swear you were going to talk about older men pretending to be trainers to pick up guys icon_razz.gif
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    Jun 30, 2009 2:48 AM GMT
    xrichx saidNo. Never tell a parent how to be a parent. Especially if you don't have kids of your own.

    I think the general rule applies here.. mind your own business and don't give unsolicited workout advice.

    You should only step in if you see the kid writhing in pain or discomfort while performing a sloppy exercise.


    xrichx is right. Just stay out of it. It might be your pet peeve, but the reality is if you're not a parent you need to just stay out of it, no matter how out of shape the dad is or how poorly he's telling his kid how to do the exercise.

    I'm a father myself, and I've seen what you're talking about plenty of times. But I'd never step in and tell another father he shouldn't be doing what he's doing unless the kid was about the really injure himself and the dad wasn't doing anything to help out.

    Best just to roll your eyes and leave it alone.
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    Jun 30, 2009 3:04 AM GMT
    I actually saw that today at the gym..the kid must've been like..maybe 10 or 11 max. The dad was not in the greatest shape but as others have pointed out, that's their business. I see plenty of ppl at the gym with bad form and doing funky ass exercises and you know they are bound to get hurt but I let them be. I don't welcome unsolicited advice therefore I don't give it.
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    Jun 30, 2009 3:04 AM GMT
    Yes, one sure way to make an enemy is to undermine that man's authority over his child. If his conduct is egregious, find an opportunity when the child isn't nearby.
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    Jun 30, 2009 3:21 AM GMT
    rollingthunder2828 saidOk so I've noticed a disturbing trend lately at the gym and that is dads who pretend to be trainers for their kids. I'm not a big fan of young kids (12-14 range) weight lifting seriously to begin with but what gets me is dads who start training their kids but are showing their kids how to do a machine the wrong way or are showing their kids very bad form. And for some reason it's always a dad who looks like he's never seen a gym either.

    Young kids already have softer bones and less muscle mass and the potential for injury with bad form could increase the likelihood of injury even more. My question is if you saw one of these situations would you say anything to prevent any injury to the kid?


    Lots of young men, and women, have had better instruction than their parents with regard to proper exercise method, weight room courtesy, and so on.

    I'm torn on this.

    On one hand I think it's great that a dad / mom will spend time with his / her child. I think it's great that the young man / woman has a positive role model; especially a gay / bi young man, who so OFTEN lack any good role models. (75% of all Black children are born to single-parent households.)

    On the other hand, the parent is often too pushy, and is often absolutely clueless about proper method, courtesy, stretching, cardio and so on.

    It's fine for a young person to start strengthening themselves, using proper method, at a young age. Their likelihood of injury is NOT higher, given they use proper technique, and their recovery is often better, given they have enough calories, and rest. There's not a thing wrong with a 12 year old lifting provides he's led in a proper manner.

    One thing I see almost every day is idiots (outside of this scenario) doing shoulder presses with a bar to the front. It's idiotic, and a sure-fire plan for shoulder impingement later in life. You certainly don't need to do the exercise. Folks get imbalanced and create all sorts of problems for themselves. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

    I also see folks doing HORRIBLE form, and 1/4, and 1/2 reps.

    Because folks in cities are especially self-centered, I've taken the position that you have to let a fool be a fool. In smaller locales, folks are more accepting of open discussion; more coachable; more open to suggestion / critique, and tend to have more common sense and reason...; less of the pack mentality and less staked-out in their "space."

    I think every person who enters a gym should be asked to take a common courtesy course, and a common sense course. I see so many folks that are COMPLETELY CLUELESS.

    From time to time, I'll see some dads giving their boys EXCELLENT coaching, but, it's rare.

    From time to time, I'll have fathers tell their boys to listen to anything I might suggest. (An invitation for some free advice.)

    More often than not, I see dad the fat ass, parked in the fire zone, waiting on his kid, yacking on the cell phone.

    I've also known some rude, clueless, and idiot trainers, especially in chain gyms.

    Such is the world of commercial weight gyms.
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    Jun 30, 2009 3:39 AM GMT
    chuckystud said
    rollingthunder2828 said

    Young kids already have softer bones and less muscle mass and the potential for injury with bad form could increase the likelihood of injury even more. My question is if you saw one of these situations would you say anything to prevent any injury to the kid?


    Lots of young men, and women, have had better instruction than their parents with regard to proper exercise method, weight room courtesy, and so on.

    I'm torn on this.

    On one hand I think it's great that a dad / mom will spend time with his / her child. I think it's great that the young man / woman has a positive role model; especially a gay / bi young man, who so OFTEN lack any good role models. (75% of all Black children are born to single-parent households.)



    Exactly what the hell is wrong with you? We already know you are a bigoted little twit, who thinks himself superior to anyone African American - no matter how inferior your upbringing in comparison. I don't understand your constant need therefore to prove your deluded "belief in your superiority.... Then again.... But either way we get it, we get it

    What does this topic have to do with black children? Had you taken the time to check with the C.D.C even an idiot like you would have discovered that it is 46.2% black children who live in a single parent household

    Enough already!!!!!!!
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    Jun 30, 2009 4:45 AM GMT
    Blackguy4you said
    chuckystud said
    rollingthunder2828 said

    Young kids already have softer bones and less muscle mass and the potential for injury with bad form could increase the likelihood of injury even more. My question is if you saw one of these situations would you say anything to prevent any injury to the kid?


    Lots of young men, and women, have had better instruction than their parents with regard to proper exercise method, weight room courtesy, and so on.

    I'm torn on this.

    On one hand I think it's great that a dad / mom will spend time with his / her child. I think it's great that the young man / woman has a positive role model; especially a gay / bi young man, who so OFTEN lack any good role models. (75% of all Black children are born to single-parent households.)



    Exactly what the hell is wrong with you? We already know you are a bigoted little twit, who thinks himself superior to anyone African American - no matter how inferior your upbringing in comparison. I don't understand your constant need therefore to prove your deluded "belief in your superiority.... Then again.... But either way we get it, we get it

    What does this topic have to do with black children? Had you taken the time to check with the C.D.C even an idiot like you would have discovered that it is 46.2% black children who live in a single parent household

    Enough already!!!!!!!







    aaaayyy maaaaaaaaaaaaadrrreeeeee...icon_neutral.gif

    Who said that?
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    Jun 30, 2009 5:04 AM GMT
    xrichx saidNo. Never tell a parent how to be a parent. Especially if you don't have kids of your own.

    I think the general rule applies here.. mind your own business and don't give unsolicited workout advice.

    You should only step in if you see the kid writhing in pain or discomfort while performing a sloppy exercise.


    icon_eek.gif Common sense would apply here lolicon_lol.gif Not everyone is meant to parent either. Most people have kids, just be having kids bro. U ahve to get in and help out. Its why we have the crime rate with the 16-25 yr. oldsicon_eek.gif
    Most parents, do not raise their children, its da do as i say, and not as i do syndromeicon_rolleyes.gif
    I am somewhat in agreement wit da OP here, i see a lot of it lately, i have corrected some parents on da spot. It actually irritates da living shyt out of me. It can ruin these kids spines too.
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    Jun 30, 2009 7:02 AM GMT
    I'd encourage anyone who hasn't already to see CNN's documentary "Black in America."

    http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2008/black.in.america/

    Nothing to do with bigotry, name calling, or any of the excuses that folks would use on "The Race Card" and everything to do with facts.

    CDC, is, for those not in the know: Centers For Disease Control. They are NOT, in general, and outside of disease containment and study, demographers. For that, we most often turn to the US Census and The IRS.

    Every child deserves a minimum of two parents, and does even better with the "village." That village may consist of any number of caring and responsible role models. I don't consider urban gangs part of that village, although, obviously, some seek that for a sense of family and belonging.

    By far, and way above, the highest single parent households go to Black America. In Washington, D.C., it's 75%, according to the aforementioned documentary, which uses some very trusted sources. Of course, that number varies, from community to community, but, illustrates a point that more parents should become involved in their children's lives, and some of the tragic issues faced by some subcultures that can only be solved from within those subcultures.
  • jslifting

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    Jun 30, 2009 7:19 AM GMT
    Wow.. I am glad I am not the only one that is noticing this little trend. I could not even begin to count the Trainer Dad's I have seen in the last little while. It is unreal. I have seen some Dad's even yell, fuss and scream at their kids for not being able to do something. When in turn these FAT Dad's are not even lifting a finger themseleves. And like u said, many are showing them wrong form and technique. I have had to hold back many times from going and chewing some Dad's out for the way they were treating their kids.

    Ughh... some people!
  • Run4Life83

    Posts: 207

    Jun 30, 2009 2:48 PM GMT
    I'm very torn. I definately understand the idea of not wanting to undermine an authority figure in front of their child, but I also think it's important that if the child is going to be engaging in this activity that they learn it correctly from the beginning so as not to hurt themselves, and so that they don't have to unlearn bad habits later in life.

    When I see this going on I usually ask one of my gym's Personal Trainers to address it with the parent when the child is not around. Since I work in an educaitonal institution they're usually really great about how they approach the situation and even offering resources so that the parent can learn more and help their child. Additionally, they spend a lot of their time walking around saying things like 'Need a spot?' or 'Can I show you a way to make that exercise more effective' so they've got the rapport built up in the gym that this situation wouldn't be as awkward.
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    Jun 30, 2009 3:05 PM GMT
    I completely agree with RnrActinTech. Use the resource of personal trainers in the gym. They have the ability to turn the opportunity into a teachable moment for both parent and child. "You know what will make that exercise even better?" "Have you seen the new _____ machine we have? It's awesome for working that muscle." Not every trainer is gifted in tact, but you usually can figure out which ones can handle the situation.

    Plus, this time of year, club useage often drops off so trainers may welcome the opportunity to make contact with potential clients. And there's always the status factor ... how many young kids can say they went to the gym and had a workout with a personal trainer? The parent can come out of this a hero.
  • gymguy81

    Posts: 455

    Jun 30, 2009 3:19 PM GMT
    well I have had this happen and if I tend to see something that can be potentially hazards I ask the dad why. why that exercise why that form. yes I do accept unsolicited advice in the gym. and they usually respond to positive encouragement insted of negative criticism.
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    Jun 30, 2009 3:26 PM GMT
    On another note, in a similar vein, I once saw a man who was "training" his wife. I'm guessing both are around their late 40s and were newbies to the gym. The husband, who himself had terrible form and was lifting too much weight, was screaming at his wife to lift the same amount of weight?! She was in obvious pain yet he proceeded to wail on his wife. I gave him the dirtiest look, they finished, and I've never seen them at the gym again. Pretty unfortunate eh? But do we have any right to interject when it comes to a husband-wife tandem?
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    Jun 30, 2009 3:41 PM GMT
    In general most parents (myself included) don't really care for strangers offering suggestions on better parenting. Personally I will normally just smile and say thanks while thinking thinking "assclown". Most people aren't really that intrusive so it is easy to just brush them off. I did have one person who didn't like how i had the hood on a stroller and decided to walk over and adjust it for me. I about punched the bitch, but I digress.

    I think the problem that the OP describes could cause actual harm to the kid and that is does leave some obligation to do something. I would think the correct course of action would be to notify someone who works for the gym as they are responsible for the safety of the patrons.

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    Jun 30, 2009 3:43 PM GMT
    Chucky,

    Your numbers are WRONG! I saw that CNN special and I just looked up the numbers to be sure before responding. It's more like 45 to 50%.


    The numbers are still staggering but I still fail to see what that point of your response had to do with the orginal post!

    That number 75% is just wrong. The fact that your are making a left turn with this post which has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with race is a bit of a shock.icon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gif
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    Jun 30, 2009 4:21 PM GMT
    I thought I'd dig around....

    http://www.city-journal.org/html/15_3_black_family.html "nearly 70%"
    http://www.slate.com/id/2185944/pagenum/all/ "nearly 70%"
    http://www.childtrendsdatabank.org/pdf/75_PDF.pdf "69.5%"
    http://www.mail-archive.com/ugandanet@kym.net/msg25840.html "about 80%"
    http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/wayoflife/04/08/out.of.wedlock.births/index.html "nearly 72%"

    You can draw your own conclusions, but there's clearly a link between race and percentage of unwed births and it's disturbingly high among blacks.
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    Jun 30, 2009 4:43 PM GMT
    Ducky45 saidChucky,

    Your numbers are WRONG! I saw that CNN special and I just looked up the numbers to be sure before responding. It's more like 45 to 50%.


    The numbers are still staggering but I still fail to see what that point of your response had to do with the orginal post!

    That number 75% is just wrong. The fact that your are making a left turn with this post which has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with race is a bit of a shock.icon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gif


    Re-watch the program.

    You can believe what you believe, but, I've watched the program, twice, in its entirety. It's, very much, in fact, 75%. It may not be the number you had hoped for, but, is. It's illustrative of the need for better parenting and mentorship.

    I find it disgusting that folks try to use an example of a racial issue. It's a cultural issue that blatantly needs attention.

    It was meant to be illustrative of the problem that can only be solved from within by folks within that culture working from within to fix their woes. No amount of government funding can get that culture to fix itself.

    Contrast Black culture to Asian culture and you will find HUGE differences with regard to the value of academics, the Greater Village, and so on.

    I spent 11 years in commercial broadcast news. I check, and re-check, stuff. I take pride in getting the numbers as close as I can. You'll never see me stoop to name calling and the methods of some of the ignorant folks that you'll find here.

    Black culture, by far an above, has the highest rates of single parent households, and often has the highest rates of dropouts, even over Hispanics, despite 40 years of social services. The value set changes have to come from within that culture, and can't be bought.

    I'm afraid you need to review your literature more closely.

    Good luck in your discovery.

    Logan / flex89 took time this morning to do some of that discovery for you, but, I'd encourage you to dig in deeper to get at the facts of the matter. It may not be what you wish to find, but, it's the truth, with no malice intended. I think you'll find that all those sources just aren't wrong.
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    Jun 30, 2009 4:52 PM GMT
    I've tried an approach with folks doing bad form in the gym, and that's to do the exercise, in better form, in front of them, without saying a word, so they can SEE how to properly do the exercise.

    With some, it works, but, with most, they just ignore it.

    Ignorant folks, are, and remain, ignorant, for a host of reasons. Failing to respond to simple leadership is one of them.

    I'm reminded that many urban dwellers are complete idiots on a fairly regular basis.
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    Jun 30, 2009 4:56 PM GMT
    "Never tell a parent how to be a parent" was said above.

    Although this is off topic the world's fattest teenager is in Houston, TX. The kid is 880 pounds, 17, and his mother keeps feeding him because she "loves him so much."

    One could argue that she (the mother) needs to be told SOMETHING. Clearly, she is killing her own son.

    Stupid people are stupid. Sometimes, they have to be told so.
  • irishkcguy

    Posts: 780

    Jun 30, 2009 5:09 PM GMT
    I coached high school sports for 10 years. Most dads are clueless, armchair quarterbacks. They are nearly always clueless and unqualified to be training their kids. Its an ego thing with them. They also tend to make their kids uncoachable.
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    Jun 30, 2009 5:15 PM GMT
    Sports science is in a constant state of evolution.

    Many of the things I here are just plain crap / blatant lies / purely unqualified.

    One of my pet peeves is 18 year old trainers who have 50 year old cardiac patients doing level 7,8 NASM unbalanced exercises when they should be out walking with their spouses.

    I've seen more than one, or two, or three, trainers that were absolute idiots.
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    Jun 30, 2009 5:15 PM GMT
    You know Chuckles,

    At least once a week you get on here with your bull dog tactics and your bullying attitude. You are one angry man. I'm not biting. I find it very interestig for people such as yourself who get on their little soap box spew garbage! The numbers are wrong sweetie.

    When did CNN become the back drop and or the media spoke- sperson for the African Amercan Culture. It is not.

    Why don't you stick to the topic at hand deary.... "Dads who Prentend to be trainers." "Not Chucky Little Rant of the African American Family".


    I don't need to see the piece of trash that air on CNN once was enough.

    I suggest you watch the special that was on BET called Black in America that was hosted by Rev Al Sharpton".