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Got this a few minutes ago. I get strange emails all the time, but, I think we'll frame this one:

BEGIN QUOTE

Hi there, Chuck,

I'm a longtime fan of yours whose watched EVERYTHING you've ever
produced - and that's a lot of videos. I just wanted to drop you a
line and let you know how much your sharing of your amazing body means
to me. As an aspiring bodybuilder, I of course find you an inspiration
from a purely sports standpoint, and quite often bring up some pics of
you when I'm needing a boost of encouragement. (Like right now, while
I'm debating going to the gym..)

But I also hope you don't mind if I pontificate a bit on what your
images and vids do to me on OTHER levels. Now, I'm sure you get
letters like this all the time. And if you don't want to hear my
muscle-worship thoughts, please don't read any further.

I mean, come on, I have NEVER, EVER seen the level of symmetry and
pure aesthetic PERFECTION on display here, Sir. Now, I've seen on the
Internet some pretty big dudes but you've got this combination of 1)
muscle, 2) muscle, 3) the world's most handsome mug and 4) 100% pure,
animal-magnetism!

I would do ANYTHING to worship your massive muscles. I'm simply drawn
to show my respect for all this hard work you put in at the gym. And
believe me - I could think of LOTS of ways to express my
appreciation.

To start with, how about those freaking pecs??? What can I say of
those things? Words don't really convey the power they radiate. Only a
viewer's eyes can do that. How many times have you seen this look? A
wide-eyed, unbelieving expression. Unbelievable that a man can work
his body to such perfection, but also unbelievable that one can be so
lucky and privileged to be in the presence of these massive meat
pillows. To show appreciation, I must worship them.

But to worship them is to be caught in a dilemma: Which one to slobber
all over first? And yes, I do mean worship. Worship means to truly
give yourself over, to devote yourself to the exaltation of something
deserving of such attention. The chest in these videos, they deserve
worship. They demand worship. And while each one deserves equally
slavish attention, how would I start? Should I start rubbing the
massive pec with my hands right off the bat, squeezing it to get a
sense of just how fucking hard that inhuman bulge is? Or should I just
give in and try to wrap my mouth around the nipple, and start licking
the massive surface area with my tongue?

I would probably have to do both, and slobberingly kiss one pec while
groping for the other with a free hand, then work my face into your
incredible pits.

And Sir, I can say more about those huge things. I've got to suck on
those things. One way I could worship your big chest is to be your
personal sweat towel, mopping up your body with my tongue and face.
And where does a lot of sweat accumulate for you, after workouts,
anyway? I'm sure right under your pecs; you've probably got all kinds
of water clinging to the ridge of those things. I could lovingly slurp
up the juice on the lower part and underside of your pecs. Believe me,
few drips of sweat would fall to the floor with me around.

Let's just say I would happily suckle on your dinnerplate-sized pecs
for an hour. Also, perhaps you would allow me to grope and massage
them , kneading them until you surprise me by flexing them in my
grasp, rolling your pecs over and over again. Pec bouncing is a MAJOR
fetish of mine. Each time you bounced those pillows, it would astound
me anew with the massive size and hardness of this unbelievable part
of your body.

If you'd allow it, I would love to lick along the middle of your pecs,
deep in this valley -- this Grand freakin' Canyon -- of your chest.

Another dream of mine would be to worship your damp armpits! I've got
such an armpit thing. I wish my face could be the pad underneath your
fucking pits when you're pumping those monsters up on the preacher
bench. Licking the sweat left over on it would only make up for this
impossibility a little.

Chuck, you are a fucking God.

I swear I'm a normal, well-behaved kid but I've also got a slutty side
and I guess I can get carried away with it! I want to get big like you
some day too, but I feel like even if I were to be some big brute
stud, it'd still be my place to honor and worship men like you who
have so much masculine energy and power, the true walking Gods of the
Earth. You are the ultimate daddy stud, muscle god, masculine image of
perfection.

Well, that's about it. I just wanted to send this note of appreciation
on. Take care, and I hope you had a great Fourth of July,

Well, that's about it. I just wanted to send this note of appreciation
on. Take care, and I hope you had a great Fourth of July!

ENDQUOTE

I didn't reply. I think the author needs to spend some time with some real folks, in Real Space.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

What distance is the injunction going to specify?

Actually, I'm surprised you don't get more of those.

I tend to get messages from guys that either want to "wrestle" with me or give me a massage.

There are some interesting people out there.

That reminds me of this guy in Dallas who hounded me for nearly a year to wrestle him.

Turns out, the nut case is / was a bartender at Round Up Saloon in The Gayborhood. I walked in one day, and there he was.

I finally had to tell him to knock it off.

I had a stalker for a while at 24 Hour Fitness in Lewisville. I told that guy to his face I'd call the cops on him if he didn't cool it. I've never seen him again.

He´s clearly delusional.

Lostboy saidHe´s clearly delusional.

True on so many levels.

Holy moly. He needs to walk outside more often.

How...ummm...."odd". I don't think there's any other word for it. Gotta' give him kudos for having the courage to send it -- but on that token, gotta' be somewhat concerned that he had the courage to send it.
I don't know Chucky, this one's got warning posts all over it. Especially if he sees you've posted his letter. Be wary of this one.

I know who wrote you:

*snicker*

HAHAHAHAHA

That guy is crazy on so many levels it ain't funny.

There truly are more nutcases out that in.

I used to work in the music industry with some moderately famous people. Not the kind that draw crowds when they're out in public, but would be recognized by some people.

One guy in particular, when he was needing his ego stroked, would get dressed up in something close to his stage attire and go to the mall just so he could bask in the recognition and adulation.

When he would do that, I would think to myself, "Oh brother, the narcissism meter is getting pegged" and other times I'd think, "If ego were an ocean his would be the pacific."

I haven't thought about that in a long, long time. Until I read this post.

I'm disturbed -- and it wasn't even sent to me!

Ahhh, so you DID get my e-mail. j/k. But seriously though, I've had a few stalkers (for some reason I have yet to understand). Its best not to pay them any attention. Like really, none what so ever. I kicked this one guy's ass because he just would not leave me alone. That just made it worse. The crazy fu@k got off on it or something. He was always around trying to get me to kick his ass, so he could have the physical contact...ugh.

...

I don't understand. If flex89 lives with you then why did he send you that email.

Sounds like a canned letter. Copy/paste, change the recipient's name, and send to all the other guys with "dinnerplate-sized pecs".

BetterThanOne saidI don't understand. If flex89 lives with you then why did he send you that email.

oops! *blush*

Delivis saidHoly moly. He needs to walk outside more often.

i miss you

Wow... really? uhhh... wow

Good Lord!

People not paying enough attention to you so you have to write your own fan mail Chuckles? You poor guy, you just need some love. *scratches Chucky behind the ears* Who's a good Chucky? Yes, you're a good Chucky! Chucky Chucky Chucky!

GuerrillaSodomite saidPeople not paying enough attention to you so you have to write your own fan mail Chuckles? You poor guy, you just need some love. *scratches Chucky behind the ear* Who's a good Chucky? Yes, you're a good Chucky! Chucky Chucky Chucky!

hahaha

I enjoy sending strange and unusual messages to guys on this website for my own amusement...but never anything perverse or stalker-ish like that.

However, I did get one that was truly funny, the sender was some dingbat that appeared to have washed ashore in the Florida Everglades in an inner tube and wore banana leaves and coconuts (god I love Karen Walker)...here's the message exchange between the two of us, I believe this was in 2008:

"i think u hot and want to fcuk u crazy"

My response:

"Try attaining US citizenship before attempting to swoon over me"

His response:

"im special but not now u well see me laiter . but who told u that u special or nice u just for fuck do u know what thats mean ur ass for fuckkkkk and face for cun on it u are just a big BITCH"

My sincerest response:

"Wow, you should improve your English writing skills...I’m perplexed whether to think of this as funny or depressing, seeing that you’re actually trying to conjure up something disrespectful. Since you’re poor at writing and lack the intelligence to do so, I’ll rewrite your blatty statement properly, you must feel privileged and effulgent that I am bestowing such knowledge upon you:

"I’m special, but not now, you will see me later! But who told you that you’re special or nice? You’re just for fucking! Do you know what that means? Your ass is just for fucking and your face is for cumming on. You are just a big BITCH!"

I’m actually going to plagiarize your lackluster statement and insert it into an essay that I’m writing, maybe I’ll send you a copy if you can read. Or maybe I won’t plagiarize it at all, maybe I’ll cite you as "moronic ethnic wanna-be" and give the source as another mindless website. That would be entirely too funny.

I see that you’re from Florida but you lack the proper skills to write decent English...I guess you’re a Cuban alien? Although Floridians tend to be somewhat cretin-minded, they usually possess the ability to write something legible. Usually ghetto rat punks tend to write horribly, I’m only presuming. Do yourself a favor by downloading spell check for Firefox and use it constantly, at least with that your slapdash attempt in writing will be "spelling error free".

With all the love I can show for a piece of shit like yourself, -Jonathan"


For some reason I have a feeling that someone will of course get offended by my response, report me and I'll get kicked off Real Jock (again). I think it's perfectly funny and witty, I hope everyone agrees. ha