COURTESY IN THE LOCKER ROOM: What is right?

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Nov 23, 2007 1:53 PM GMT
    I was in the locker room of my local YMCA after a workout and arrived to find a couple of older gentleman (old enough to be my father) in the lockers directly adjacent to the one I was using. I was actually in a corner of the locker room, not where I usually store my clothes (because it is tight there), but my usual locker area was being used.

    I waited a moment for these men to finish, set my water bottle down and ran an errand, came back and waited a moment. One of the men finally said "You need in here"? I said "yeah" and made a comment about your neighbor always showing up in these cases
    when your using your locker, even if the whole locker room was empty.. and sort of chuckled.

    Neither moved their stuff and I waited...and waited and actually chatted with another gentleman I know and he even asked me what I was doing. Finally the one guy went to the shower and I got in and changed clothes
    (without a shower) and got ready to go.

    About the time I was ready to leave the guy returned from the shower and made a comment to his friend about
    how long some people take to change (it was been honestly 2 or 3 minutes for me to change clothes).
    It takes alot for me to get irritated, but I almost told them off. I think I probably should have just said, "Can you move down please so I can get in and get my stuff"....

    I feel that if someone comes up and needs to get in an adjoining locker, you get your stuff and move over ASAP
    so they can get in. Its the polite thing to do. I can't imagine doing anything else. I also don't care what the age of the person is... 65, 20 or whatever, a person should always show courtesy. Your thoughts?
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    Nov 23, 2007 2:36 PM GMT
    Hansan, I know this may not be the time or the thread, but i have a major crush on you. From the moment i saw that pic of you draped across that bench I was hooked. You look so sexy, so confident, so MY FRIGGEN TYPE! Honey,your sundrenched body in that photo commands respect which is why i'm surprised to hear of this shyness or was it it "coyness" tehe, that you displayed at the gym.
    I read it thoroughly because I love gym yarns. I've got a few of my own if you want to hear. One involves me launching some guy four feet into the air while doing leg extensions. His shirt got caught on the.....anyway, back to you, what happens sounds like a serious case of miscommuni......cation.You didn't ask them to move eventhough they should have known to move. Sometimes you can't assume people are as intelligent as you are because sometimes they aren't. And, even if it isn't their fault they are stupid, you can't let their defaults inconvenience you. What's the answer then? You gotta be assertive. In this case a little warranted, totally unbitchy, but assertive dialogue from you would have been enough to get you into your locker. As for the old men, they gotta learn sometime because at my gym, it is one of the commandments that you move your stuff if it is blocking a guys way into his locker.
    Besides, you are young and hot, they should have moved aside out of sheer respect anyway.
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    Nov 23, 2007 3:32 PM GMT
    They should have definitely moved their stuff, it's the polite thing to do, and the locker room is shared space. I'd have been irritated, too!
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    Nov 23, 2007 5:20 PM GMT
    First of all age does not make a difference...these men were rude

    Second when they did not get the first clue you should have said "could you move your stuff I can't get in my locker"

    Third if GuiltyGear happened to be next to you he would probably try to put you in his locker!
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    Nov 23, 2007 5:30 PM GMT
    Ya, sometimes I think we have more and more people taking their anger toward society in a passive aggressive way. Like driving, notice some people purposely drive on the fast land slower then slower lane? they passive aggressively block traffic and annoy people, cause in other area of life, they are powerless. those old guys you talk about prop. is doing that.

    Another thing that I was really mad at the gym, which just happened a while ago. I was at a bench doing my weight, and after 1 set and took a break, anotehr guy who was on the other end of room, finish his chat, bring his heavey weight here and told me to leave the bench. I told him why not use other empty benchs next to me? he said he was here perviously and he already set the height to his liking.
    I was not happy obviously, cuase no one should claim a bench, not to mention he was gone for a while, and especially after I started my workout here. for the sake of peace, i let him have it. he won cause he has he's way. But there is a sense of hierarchies in gym, where the bigger guy has authorities over smaller guy. and they feel the bigger the muscle, the more they own the gym. But it's in the same vain of courtesy you talk about.
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    Nov 23, 2007 5:31 PM GMT
    I have that happen often at my over crowded gym. Most people are curtious and will move, but there are still some that dont get the hint. When that happens, I simply walk over to my locker start turning my lock while I say "excuse me, I need to get in here".
    If they are being rude by not letting you in, be forceful, and rude right back. If they talk crap to me, I simply talk right back and point out thier flaws as well.
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    Nov 23, 2007 5:39 PM GMT
    I say, hi , wait like 30 secs for the guy to move which they do 99% of the time but if they don't I proceed to use the locker like they are not there. Body contact and all.
  • DrStorm

    Posts: 185

    Nov 23, 2007 5:55 PM GMT
    Three words a lot of men totally have no clue of their meaning:

    1] common courtesy;
    2] consideration;


    Enough said.

    PEACE
    daWeatherMan
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Nov 23, 2007 6:15 PM GMT
    I pretty much just say "Excuse me, I need to get to my locker."
  • Kevin82

    Posts: 273

    Nov 23, 2007 6:37 PM GMT
    Older people can't always hear as well or put two and two together. They just need to be told what to do and sometimes though irritating you have to repeat yourself before they get it.
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    Nov 23, 2007 6:48 PM GMT
    Co Male, not my locker, i'd most likely try to put you in my car instead, easier to drive you to my house that way. icon_wink.gif
  • DiverScience

    Posts: 1426

    Nov 23, 2007 7:11 PM GMT
    There is far too little understanding of social responsibility in the world.

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    Nov 23, 2007 7:17 PM GMT
    I don't understand why you didn't say something like, "Hey, can you move your stuff out of the way, so I can get dressed?" Is that rude?

    A few days ago I was waiting on a leg press machine. It was being used by someone who was apparently memorizing the Bible or the Koran between sets. Maybe he just reads with his lips. Anyway, after 10 minutes, I said, "Hey, would you mind if I took a quick set." It was literally the last thing I had to do before leaving.

    He pointed at another machine and said, "That's basically the same machine. Why don't you use that?"

    I wasn't in the mood to explain that my knees, which were fucked up by surgery, seem to tolerate this machine better.

    I walked a lap around the gym to avoid shredding his Bible. When he finally got off the fucking machine, he rolled his eyes and hit me with about 500 lbs. of attitude.
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    Nov 23, 2007 7:25 PM GMT
    I pee on the lockers next to mine...I like marking my territory.

    Seriously, what you're describing is very annoying and yet common enough for every guy who spends time at the gym to nod his head with recognition.

    I'll go you one more. When guys leave their lockers, they should not leave behind any of the following: towels (wet or otherwise); used band-aids (plasters for some of you); empty bottles; puddles of water (on the bench, on the floor); locks (duh); anything else you wouldn't want to see yourself when you arrive. My gym employs a diligent cleaning staff but they (and I) are not your damned mother!
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    Nov 23, 2007 7:32 PM GMT
    I forgot to mention, next time that happens just start taking off your clothes and if they haven't gotten the point and moved by the time you are completely naked (oh to be them) just snake your way through them. LOL,I've never had the pleasure. They always get the point and move before i'm completely nude.
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    Nov 24, 2007 2:33 AM GMT
    I agree one hundred percent. My YMCA is a very a packed place but I have yet to run into a rude member. I love to play racket ball and usually the courts are full but everyone usually will only take about a half hour and then rotate courts or take a break just to let others in.

    I am usually there when also when the group of men who have lockers around me and I mean right next to me are there. We usually always run into the problem of us always being in there at the same time. However they will get their stuff and then move and also pass a courtiouse gesture.

    So man, I understand what you are saying and I feel that men should still be gentlmen to eachother and not so cocky.
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    Nov 24, 2007 3:25 AM GMT
    We've had our run-ins with rude people. Usually I'm polite but I've been known to start getting snarky with persistent asses. Sometimes you gotta just tell them off.
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    Nov 24, 2007 3:47 AM GMT
    Like the peeing idea. That's is a really good idea.
  • mv03

    Posts: 201

    Nov 24, 2007 7:15 AM GMT
    I'm so glad there's a forum on this. I was actually about to do this the other day. People that need to learn courtesy at the gym:

    1. Am I the only person with a water bottle that allows people who don't have them to get in front of me? Even if I'm filling a bottle, I stop so other people can get a drink. Have that courtesy.
    2. Old men in the locker room-Alright I know you've reached an age of respect and maturity, but there's no reason for you to walk around bare ass naked in the locker room...I know you're 70, and I don't need your ass or 70 year balls to show me. There's no need for you to air dry either...If the hot guy that's shredded and wet out of the steam room/shower wears a towel, than you certainly should too.
    3. Butches-Masculine lesbians that flirt with their partners while they're on the machines...Come on.
    4. Cell phones-Really? You're that important that you can't go an hour or two without getting a text or business call? At least get off the machine while talking and leave the room. I don't want to hear about your Bentley problems, Courtney's date with Kevin last night, or whatever you want to talk about on th cardio/weight machine next to me.
    5. TV's-Yes, TV's are great...But you're in the gym to work out...Don't hold a bench while you go to watch football on the TV in the gym. Checking the score or watchin a good play? Fine. Watching until half-time? Go home.
    6. Giving dirty looks or laughing-Don't like my technique or amount of weight I'm using? Concentrate on yourself.
    7. Re-racking-PUT YOU'RE WEIGHTS AWAY! If you're too lazy to put them back, why come out? And try and put them where they are labeled to go.
    8. Doing tai-chi? Great, but do it in one of the gyms or in the 'soft' fitness area, not where people are trying to move weights around you.
    9. Benches-There are a limited number of benches. If you use big weights, props to you, I am jealous. However, you don't need to take up two benches out of five, just so you have one to rest your water bottle and weights on, because they're too heavy to lift off the ground.

    Sorry, I just get tired of going to the gym and dealing with all that crap, on top of it being like being a friggin' diabetic in a Baskin Robbins with all the man candy who only want to satisfy a ladies sweet tooth. Hope you guys don't have this crap that often.
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    Nov 24, 2007 7:20 AM GMT
    I second all that. All in favor?
  • liftordie

    Posts: 823

    Nov 24, 2007 7:41 AM GMT
    my mother always taught me to be 'concious of the world around me' i try to live it every day of my life.
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    Nov 24, 2007 7:52 AM GMT
    burningmanI say, hi , wait like 30 secs for the guy to move which they do 99% of the time but if they don't I proceed to use the locker like they are not there. Body contact and all.

    Burningman, I am going to come to your gym and hog the lockers.. 'til I get some body contact and all icon_smile.gif
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    Nov 24, 2007 9:20 AM GMT
    HndsmKansan, funny that you should bring this up. I had nearly the same experience tonight.

    It's Friday night, 2030. Hardly anyone in the gym. Some older guy, around 60 to 65 gets a locker next to mine. I'm doing hamstrings and get done pulling stiff legs dead lifts. I go to put my lifting straps in the locker with my stuff so I don't lose them, and I'm standing there in my wresting shoes, shorts over singlet, sweating, looking at the locker next to mine which the guy has open, and he won't budge. I'm getting "cold" and he still ain't budging. He obviously sees me, DUH! Finally, I just go after after my lock. This guy gives me that typical Southerner "why are you being an asshole look." I went back and blasted standing leg curls. The guy was the typical silent, but very definite, Southern antagonism. It's rude.

    Oh, by the way, did you know that in Texas, if you smile and wave, it's fine to cut across four lanes of traffic on the freeway? (SIC)
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    Nov 24, 2007 9:26 AM GMT
    We have a 8 million dollar gym.

    Some guy decided he has jump rope in the bench area at rush hour.

    It is amazing.
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    Nov 24, 2007 10:29 AM GMT
    you know if you're the only one in the 500 locker room the next guy to come in will take the locker next to yours?

    the other day i took a couple of dumbells off the rack and this guy says 'put those back i'm using them'. i said they were on the rack? he says 'so?' he says he can put them where he likes. i said it's common sense, if they're on the rack there free. i said, 'what am i a fucking mind reader? at this point a friend lead me away as the only next reaction would have been to start a fight. how ridiculous would that be? i mean i'm 43, i've never hit anyone in my life, i'm not a violent person at all but sometimes when i'm fired up in the gym and faced with some meathead arshole...