Why is it so hard in this day and age for two young men to connect? as far as LTR.

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    Jul 05, 2009 7:53 PM GMT
    Any ideas?icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 05, 2009 9:03 PM GMT
    Perhaps they hook-up too early on in the 'get-to-know-you' phase? I have found that relationships that start out as friendships or platonic in the first months/years tend to last longer. Just my experience tho. icon_smile.gif
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    Jul 05, 2009 9:22 PM GMT
    Good point. some say they just want to enjoy their youth.
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    Jul 05, 2009 9:37 PM GMT
    My several successful LTRs began as friendships, never as an intended LTR per se. All I have ever sought is friendship, and if it evolved into an LTR, then it did. I acquired many gays friends, for the great joy of their friendship, but also knowing that in this way my partner would one day appear from among them. And so it happened.

    In the coldest and most objective sense it's called networking. I also think it's old fashioned common sense. You meet the right guy by befriending many guys. The more the merrier, and more increases your chances of meeting the right guy. You'll meet duds & losers along the way, but Mr. Right will be among the mob.

    Meet lots of guys for the pleasure of meeting them, and tricking perhaps (safely), and your Prince Charming will one day appear. It really does happen that way, you know. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 05, 2009 9:41 PM GMT
    the thing I keep seeing.. everyone is looking for the package, the right package and trying to find love in it..

    instead of looking for love..

    I know, so many will want to jump on me about that.. but i don't give a shit.
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    Jul 05, 2009 10:15 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidthe thing I keep seeing.. everyone is looking for the package, the right package and trying to find love in it..

    instead of looking for love..

    I know, so many will want to jump on me about that.. but i don't give a shit.


    I agree with you. and many gay men work hard to become that package but always fall short of expectations because there is always the next best thing. We are greedy bastards. We should stop.
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    Jul 06, 2009 12:16 AM GMT
    Im a dater, not a hooker-upper so I would love it if more guys wanted something more lasting than a quicky. Seems like 6 months in the gay world is about it until they want a different dick. Some of us are romantics, some are just in it for sex. The terms, "playing the field" comes to mind and "Keeping their options open" in case someone better IMs them. Everyone is always waiting for someone just a little bit better. If they took the time to get to know someone, they would realize the perfect guy is usually right in front of them. The ones we fall in love with are usually the ones that took time to get to know.
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    Jul 06, 2009 12:18 AM GMT
    Too many options....nobody needs to sacrifice his own immediate wants and desires to take the time to connect.

    funny pictures ... ok, she was bored for a moment. But she's too young to connect. So she doesnt count.
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    Jul 06, 2009 1:39 AM GMT


    Hey klassikjock, they're just too busy with the thrill of self discovery and the thrill of exploring others. In many ways this can be a good thing.

    How you go about the above is the measure of how successful you'll be at stumbling across that magical connection....


    - us two
  • DrobUA

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    Jul 06, 2009 1:44 AM GMT
    A ton of guys don't come out till later in life.
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    Jul 07, 2009 12:14 AM GMT
    if more guys were to give it a try. I think more people would be more open to it? I blame it on the media, porn and the gym...lol
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    Jul 07, 2009 12:26 AM GMT
    I don't want to hook up, I don't even want a long term relationship. Both of those end. I want to find my best friend, someone who'll love me, and I can love him for the rest of my life. Its a tall order, I know, but I think its worth waiting for.
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    Jul 07, 2009 12:35 AM GMT
    Lack of Experience
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    Jul 07, 2009 3:20 PM GMT



    I don't think this is subject to just men, In general I feel most people are not motivated by time and patience. Everything about today's culture is about Immediate gratification which tends to make people lazy and effortless which also crosses over to relationships. People get frustrated and give up way too soon! Relationships take quality time, Effort and nurturing.
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    Jul 07, 2009 3:23 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidthe thing I keep seeing.. everyone is looking for the package, the right package and trying to find love in it..

    instead of looking for love..

    I know, so many will want to jump on me about that.. but i don't give a shit.


    and you shouldn't - you are right
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    Jul 07, 2009 3:23 PM GMT
    muchmorethanmuscle saidMen are fucked up? icon_neutral.gif


    true that
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    Jul 07, 2009 3:25 PM GMT
    Depends on the age. If your young, your supposed to be erratic, your hormones are jumping all over the place and you really don't know what you want in life yet.

    If you are older and wiser, your hormones are more in tune to your crotch and you have a better idea of what works for you.

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    Jul 07, 2009 3:44 PM GMT
    Having started a relationship before the internet age and then finding myself single again after the boom of the internet age I believe it has to do with actual personal connection.

    People like to blame failed connections on sex to soon or sex not soon enough. Some have had successful relationships that started as hook-ups while others have had successful relationships that started as friendships. Both can work if both parties are willing to connect and put in the work for a relationship.

    While I believe the internet is an amazing tool and can bring people together I also believe it keeps people apart. After a date whether it be good or bad it is easy to go home and catalog shop for the next Perfect "date". Connections take time and when they are not instantaneous people have a tendency to move on instead of sticking it out and seeing where things may lead.

    People, gay and straight, used to go to bars, clubs and cafes for the purpose of spending time with friends and meeting people but now they go to spend time with friends. They head home to catalog shop on Match, chemistry, manhunt etc. and find the next best thing.

    I met my ex in passing on the street. I smiled at him, he smiled back and then I said hello. How often does that scenario happen. Between text messaging, phone calls, emails and ipods can that kind of connection happen anymore? I would hope so but Im not so certain.

    Everyone I speak to has the same "connection" question but I rarely meet people who are actually open to meeting people and really working on a relationship. Most people expect that 50/50 is appropriate effort but if both parties only give 50% then both are missing out on the whole person.

    I may be totally off base but these are some of the conclusions I have made. Hopefully people will prove me wrong.
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    Jul 07, 2009 3:46 PM GMT
    stringman saidHaving started a relationship before the internet age and then finding myself single again after the boom of the internet age I believe it has to do with actual personal connection.

    People like to blame failed connections on sex to soon or sex not soon enough. Some have had successful relationships that started as hook-ups while others have had successful relationships that started as friendships.

    I may be totally off base but these are some of the conclusions I have made. Hopefully people will prove me wrong.


    So True
    Right ON
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    Jul 07, 2009 3:55 PM GMT
    most of society is against young couples i feel. save this site it seems lol.

    it always seems that when i was with my b/f people would be like "omg you're so young tho!!"
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    Jul 07, 2009 4:15 PM GMT
    One word - immaturity
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    Jul 07, 2009 4:16 PM GMT
    BTW - older guys can be very immature