How old is too old?

  • somedaytoo

    Posts: 704

    Jul 06, 2009 12:18 AM GMT
    So I decided about 3 years ago to give in and start dating guys. I'd love to meet someone I really click with and finally have a boyfriend. You know, someone to care for and cares about me. So far, no luck. I've tried some of the well know websites, but what I find are some adorable young twenty-somethings, and me... well at 38, I feel a little "out of the game" and that my chances are starting to slip away. So, how old is too old? The gays seem to worship youth. Guys on other site that are around my age seem to be more susceptible to being out of shape. Grant it I'm NOT model material, but still have some aesthetic requirements. I'd appreciate your thoughts and experiences.
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    Jul 06, 2009 12:34 AM GMT
    Let's see...

    I started working out at 33 so I could have a more desireable body and get a boyfriend.

    I joined the local gay association so as not to have all my socializing be at bars.

    I joined the area sports association and took up volleyball and horseback riding to meet guys.

    I learned to dance at the local gay c-w bar cuz standing around in meat-market bars was so boring. Dancing was the best time I have ever had ....every weekend with the gang at the c-w bar.

    I tried the bf thing with one guy when I was 40 and it was the absolute worst thing ever in my life. May he rot in hell!

    A bf would be nice, but for god's sake, dont dwell on it. Do what you like to do.

    Good luck, pal

    BTW, you look terrific to me.

    OMG...I just noticed you are 5'5....I am in love!
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    Jul 06, 2009 1:56 AM GMT
    OMG ya cute and short too.. icon_eek.gificon_biggrin.gif

    anywho, mate, just get out there, do like the old man above me Caslon did, go to other places, have fun, enjoy life, a boyfriend aint everything and everything aint a boyfriend, another man wont make you happy.. a happy life overflowing with things you enjoy, are passionate about, that fill you up with happyness will make you happy

    So hopefully happy that you wont need a man...
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    Jul 06, 2009 1:56 AM GMT
    38's not old. You're only out of the game if you put yourself out of the game. Also, consider your outlets. It seems like gay men in your age group who are comfortable with their sexuality are more likely to have established social circles, thus there's really no need for them to be on the internet. Most meat market type places (on the internet or in real life) seem to attract people who are recently out (typically very young), closeted, new in town, or chasing a fantasy. Yes there are exceptions, but good luck finding them. It's a timing thing.
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    Jul 06, 2009 2:12 AM GMT
    somedaytoo said... well at 38, I feel a little "out of the game" and that my chances are starting to slip away. So, how old is too old?

    38? Silly wabbit! I didn't even come out until I was almost 46! Sure I knew I was way behind the curve, but what was I supposed to do? Jump off a bridge? Hide in a hole? Not likely! I played the hand life had dealt me.

    I looked at what the gay world wanted, and what I had to offer. Some strengths, lots of weaknesses, so I decided to maximize what I did have, and target those who wanted it.

    I didn't waste my time on twinks (who didn't interest me anyway), but concentrated on guys my own age. My campaign was as focused as anything military I had ever done, gathering information, evaluating, adjusting my tactics. I was successful beyond my wildest dreams.

    Whether you can do the same I don't know. But I can tell you it's not outside the realm of possibilities, just because you are (GASP) 38. You only fail when you've accepted a self-fulfilling prophesy to fail.

    Rather, prophesize success for yourself. You are at a wonderful time in your life, at the apex of age, both young & older, the best of all possible worlds. Seize the moment, my friend, you are at a place I would kill to have. No more complaining, OK?
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 06, 2009 2:19 AM GMT
    I won't answer that question
    because age I base on an individual and lifestyle basis
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    Jul 06, 2009 3:32 AM GMT
    I've seen guys in their 50s and 60s pair up, and I know straight folks who get into relationships past age 80. I'd say you get to decide for yourself when you're too old. As long as you're alive, why not live?
  • silverfox

    Posts: 3178

    Jul 06, 2009 3:36 AM GMT
    Poor me! If the OP is really that old I will NEVER EVER have a chance at finding Mr. Right(stein).

    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!


    icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 06, 2009 4:32 AM GMT
    You've been on my hotlist for awhile now, if that matters. The advice already given is pretty much on par. Take some time to know exactly who YOU are and what you are about and not about. More importantly, make sure it is ok if you just happen to be single for a while. Yea, it's hard sometimes, but it makes it a whole lot easier when you don't obsess about being in a relationship. Just date for awhile until you get your bearings or has that gone the way of the great wonders of the world?
  • cutechina

    Posts: 11

    Jul 08, 2009 4:55 PM GMT
    somedaytoo saidSo I decided about 3 years ago to give in and start dating guys. I'd love to meet someone I really click with and finally have a boyfriend. You know, someone to care for and cares about me. So far, no luck. I've tried some of the well know websites, but what I find are some adorable young twenty-somethings, and me... well at 38, I feel a little "out of the game" and that my chances are starting to slip away. So, how old is too old? The gays seem to worship youth. Guys on other site that are around my age seem to be more susceptible to being out of shape. Grant it I'm NOT model material, but still have some aesthetic requirements. I'd appreciate your thoughts and experiences.


    You are 38 years old now, also very young.I remember that year I am just 18 years old, my boyfriend is exactly 27 years older than me. &we think the love could covered the distance of the age. As long as we keep a young mindset good.
    umm...@ the end i hope u've a good mood^ V ^........
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    Jul 08, 2009 5:02 PM GMT
    never too old. i started dating older guys when i was in my 20s.
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    Jul 08, 2009 5:09 PM GMT
    I get where you are coming from. I entered the dating scene at 34 ( I'm now 36) after a 10 year relationship ended. I thought for a while that it seemed nothing would happen. Then I thought maybe I was being too picky and not openminded enough( like too young/ too old, not the same body type as mine, etc) .

    Now, I am trying to step out of my comfort zone in terms of dating, but it still is rough. It still is possible, though. We as 30-somethings can still date I think. icon_smile.gif


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    Jul 08, 2009 5:36 PM GMT
    ive dated 4 guys that were all older than me, one being 10 years older.
    go for it. icon_cool.gif

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    Jul 08, 2009 5:41 PM GMT
    38 is anything but old for dating. I'm 51 and constantly meeting new guys. The joke my friends have is that they can't keep the names straight of the who's who. Some end up being just a one time date but several in their 40s are regulars that I enjoy and keep at arms length despite their desire to get more serious. Just not quite ready to let go of all that freedom yet icon_smile.gif

    My advice is that if you're not getting any bites, you're probably fishing in the wrong pond.
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    Jul 08, 2009 5:50 PM GMT
    It's funny you ask because I have been thinking the same thing recently. I told my mother recently that my decision to have lap-band surgery is because I don't want to wake up 10 years from now and discover that it really is too late to find love.
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    Jul 08, 2009 5:52 PM GMT
    There is no such thing as too old.

    My thought on it is this: If my parents can split and start over in their forties, my grandfather (after my grandmother passed) in his sixties, then anyone can start again at any age.

    Just put yourself out there. Get out of your comfort zone and give the big, wide world a chance. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2009 12:26 AM GMT
    Too old? Never. Not as long as you are above ground and kickin' icon_smile.gif

    I didnt even come out to my family and friends until I was 53, and didnt meet that one special guy until shortly before that. We have been together for over two years..

    So I didnt even meet someone special to date for over 5 decades!

    Life has it's way of taking you to where you need to be, at the time you need to be...

    And who know's? you may just look up sometime as you sit in your favorite restaurant and meet the gaze of some handsome man.

    Best wishes in your ongoing quest for love. And 38 is NOT old...my boyfriend only turns 37, this year- he's a kid...lol....