What would you prefer.. if it were you?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 06, 2009 11:16 AM GMT
    So. You're at a club/pub/somewhere and cruising/being cruised by this hot young guy. There's definitely some spark.

    What you can't tell from looking at him is that he's a transguy whose equipment is.. well.. a little unconventional.

    My question is - when would you want to know?

    Would you want to know really early, pre almost anything?
    After you've had a bit of a snog and a grope but before you start planning to go home/to a cubicle?
    Or right at the last minute/when you're getting down and dirty?

    Regardless of whether you chose to go any further or not once you knew, when would you want to know?

    I ask because I am that hot young transguy (if I do say so myself!).. I always make sure the guy I'm scoping knows what he's getting into WELL before we start heading home.. but I never really know when the best time to drop the news is - and it's not exactly the easiest bit of information to weave into a conversation.

    .. but then I've had some guys say maybe I shouldn't be worrying about saying anything, any more then you might be fessing up to having a tiny cock before you actually get into bed. Dunno.
    I still think saying something before hand is only fair, because I understand and respect if a guy wants to back out.

    So yeah - I'd be interested in opinions?

  • dannyboy1101

    Posts: 977

    Jul 06, 2009 3:57 PM GMT
    I think I'd want to know pretty early on just because I would want to be on the same page as anyone I'm talking to. If I'm in a straight bar and a girl is hitting on me, I find some way of letting her know I'm gay, otherwise she might feel foolish in the end. Being notified of transexual status however doesn't necessarily mean one has to be telling all of the bedroom details unless the conversation goes in that direction.
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    Jul 06, 2009 6:58 PM GMT
    I don't understand why people are so scared of genitals. I heard Buck Angel talking about taking some boy home, cracking the whip until he begged for it, then pulled off his pants and fucked him with his pussy. I think more people could benefit from that sort of gender-fuck than they could from a conventional good lay.

    More power to you.
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    Jul 06, 2009 7:00 PM GMT
    MunchingZombie saidI don't understand why people are so scared of genitals. I heard Buck Angel talking about taking some boy home, cracking the whip until he begged for it, then pulled off his pants and fucked him with his pussy. I think more people could benefit from that sort of gender-fuck than they could from a conventional good lay.

    More power to you.



    haha... well, now I truly have nothing to say - and that's something.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 08, 2009 1:08 PM GMT
    A heads up would be nice at any time, but not essential...

    Though if I've already disclosed myself as trans (pre getting down and dirty), I'd hope he'd disclose too icon_razz.gif
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    Jul 09, 2009 12:23 AM GMT
    umm, ya, I'd wanna know...if I spend all night thinking about getting home and sucking dick, I don't wanna be surprised at the last second.

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    Jul 09, 2009 12:26 AM GMT
    Pretty early on. I think it's fair to be open about any little surprises that may come up, no matter what they are. For example, I have a pierced dick and I always let guys know before hand because I appreciate some guys hate those.

    Give someone the information and let them make a choice icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 09, 2009 12:55 AM GMT
    you guys need to lighten up..

    yeah it can be weird at first.. but you get over it..

    AND theres no boobies bouncing about.. which personally, I find distracting while having sex with a women..
  • nadaquever_rm

    Posts: 139

    Jul 09, 2009 1:33 AM GMT
    Unless you plan on taking the guy home for a night of screwing, I don't see why it'd come up at all. However, if someone says he's a power bottom and wants you to plow him till dawn, I think you'd need to mention just how you plan on achieving that.

    Personally, I wouldn't mind one bit if we got home and our plumbing didn't match.
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    Jul 09, 2009 2:22 AM GMT
    First, let me say that I commend you for starting a thread like this.

    Now, I'd like to know pretty early on, but it wouldn't stop me from getting to know you or even going home with you. Relationships built on honesty (no matter how long they last) are always the best. Open communication.

    P.S. I'd go home with ya. icon_wink.gif
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    Jul 09, 2009 12:48 PM GMT
    Hmm. So basically, there's a diversity of opinion, as I suspected.. but those who would want to know, would want to know early-ish.. and for those who wouldn't care.. well, it wouldn't really matter.

    Good good.

    It's actually pretty heartening to read lots of "who cares" "no biggie" (literally, ha!) comments. I need to get me to the US of A, clearly.


    and High Voltage Guy? I'd let ya.. ;)


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    Jul 12, 2009 10:13 PM GMT
    I'm purebred gay. I want a guy and all the expected equipment. Yes, the masculinity of a guy is nice, but in the end, I also want a nice c*ck to suck on and get pounded by. That's just my wiring.

    That said, I've had a fascinating time asking all the bisexuals I know how they'd react to a situation just like this. I would naturally presume that monosexuals are going to want the goodies they expect with their chosen sex. But bisexuals, for their ability to 'see the person, not the sex' of the person would, I thought, be more inclined to 'go with the flow' as it were with a trans person.

    Imagine my surprise when every single one of them has said, "Nope, no way, couldn't/wouldn't do it." They had the same response - "If I'm expecting X, I'm expecting to get what X has."

    So R_EVOLUTIONARY_BOY, I think trans people are going to save themselves and others some grief if, should things seem like they're going to be heading to the bedroom, by some disclosure. As some of the guys here have said, they're not going to have a problem and will be happy to party. Hell, some guys may feel like they've hit the jackpot!

    I'd like to ask the question back. What would be YOUR reaction if you were to find out the 'guy/girl' you went home with wasn't exactly what you were expecting?
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    Jul 12, 2009 11:11 PM GMT
    I would like a "heads up", but I'm not sure it would matter as long as he was a good lay and a nice guy.
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    Jul 13, 2009 12:36 AM GMT
    Hm... I think I'd like to know after a drink I think or as soon as possible. Because I'd think it would be worse for both of you if he turns out to be not interested if you disclose right before the erm... dirty business. I think it depends on the situation though. If you wait until there's actual confirmation that he is interested in sex, it might take too long. On the other hand if you disclose too early, he might not actually have been looking for anything sexual (unless it happens in a gay bar and then you'd know it was simply an excuse. I mean... who'd want to have 'just conversation' in a gay bar? LOL. But I wouldn't know. I've never been to one. icon_razz.gif). As for me, you wouldn't even have to steer the conversation into it. We could be talking about the weather outside and you could just insert it in the conversation from out of nowhere and I wouldn't mind.

    Although, yeah, it's highly unlikely for me to be in a cruising/being cruised situation, transmen or otherwise, anyway. LOL

    As for if I'd sleep with transmen, it'd honestly be discomforting for me. But I'd want to try it at least once. I'll also have to make clear to him that it would be an experiment for me though, heh, it would only be fair.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2009 8:33 AM GMT
    hamdu saidI'm purebred gay. I want a guy and all the expected equipment. Yes, the masculinity of a guy is nice, but in the end, I also want a nice c*ck to suck on and get pounded by. That's just my wiring.

    That said, I've had a fascinating time asking all the bisexuals I know how they'd react to a situation just like this. I would naturally presume that monosexuals are going to want the goodies they expect with their chosen sex. But bisexuals, for their ability to 'see the person, not the sex' of the person would, I thought, be more inclined to 'go with the flow' as it were with a trans person.

    Imagine my surprise when every single one of them has said, "Nope, no way, couldn't/wouldn't do it." They had the same response - "If I'm expecting X, I'm expecting to get what X has."

    So R_EVOLUTIONARY_BOY, I think trans people are going to save themselves and others some grief if, should things seem like they're going to be heading to the bedroom, by some disclosure. As some of the guys here have said, they're not going to have a problem and will be happy to party. Hell, some guys may feel like they've hit the jackpot!

    I'd like to ask the question back. What would be YOUR reaction if you were to find out the 'guy/girl' you went home with wasn't exactly what you were expecting?




    Hamdu - You're little experiment is interesting.. and reflects my experiences actually. Most of the guys I go home with are your Gold Star, thoroughbred, never-been-with-a-girl gays. On the odd occasion I've hooked up with bi guys it's been less good.

    But anyway. I agree people should have the chance to make the call, one way or the other, and so I agree that disclosure at some point is definitely the way to go.. I always disclose, I'm just never too sure when is the right time. *shrugs

    Uh and in answer to your question.. I'd be suprised, obviously.. but I only ever go home with guys/girls that are seriously stirring my loins so I suspect I'd pretty undeterred by said surprise.
    Probably helps that I'm aware of the possibilities, having come from my personal background..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2009 12:44 PM GMT
    I can understand why bi people might not be cool with it. Just because you like both pussy and cock doesn't necessarily mean you like to mix the accompanying package. Besides, look at just about any thread on trans people on this site. Transphobia is alive and well today. Even though people have expanded their little minds outside the sexual-binary, they still cling to the gender-binary. When, in fact, our sexual and gender expression are much richer and diverse than we can imagine; and that is coming from a dude who has never even seen a vagina in person, let alone napped in one.

    Again, viva la r_Evolutionary_boy
  • t0theheights

    Posts: 428

    Jul 13, 2009 12:55 PM GMT
    I'm "pure gay" as some have said, which means in part that I want nothing whatsoever to do with a vagina. I have no problem with boobs, or making out with girls, but anything below the belt is repulsive to me.

    Obviously, then, if I took a guy home and found his "equipment" was lacking, I'd have a big, BIG issue--so yes, it should be mentioned up front.

    And I'm sorry, there is *nothing* "phobic" about not wanting to hook up with someone with mixed genitalia. I want a guy who has 100% guy parts--that's what I'm attracted to, end of story.
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    Jul 13, 2009 1:39 PM GMT
    I would want to know immediately because I wouldn't pursue it any further. I am gay, I like men. Not men who want to be women, or men who have taken steps to become women. don't get me wrong, trannies can be a lot of fun to hang out with, great conversation and I had a really good friend who was on hormone shots and everything, but I could never date them or sleep with them.

    and If I was in the situation and it was something sexual, I would appreciate your honesty, I wouldn't go home with you, but it wouldn't stop me from getting to know you and becomming good friends.

    If I just met you as a friend however it wouldn't matter. You wouldn't have to say a thing. We'd just be hanging out one day and you'd say did i ever tell you I had a vagina? And I'd say prove it and then I'd say thats awesome. Because I genuinely would think so.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jul 13, 2009 1:52 PM GMT
    I'm not really sure what 'unconventional' means, because I honestly don't know a lot about how the genitals of transgendered man who has undergone gender reassignment look. If everything functions and you are enjoying it as well, then I think there would be a problem.

    If you haven't undergone gender reassignment surgery? Honestly, I don't know. I have experience with women, so a vagina doesn't scare me. It's just not my thing anymore.
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    Jul 14, 2009 2:04 PM GMT
    t0theheights said

    And I'm sorry, there is *nothing* "phobic" about not wanting to hook up with someone with mixed genitalia. I want a guy who has 100% guy parts--that's what I'm attracted to, end of story.


    I agree with ya mate, I certainly don't take it as *phobic anything if a guy doesn't want to hook up with me. I figure it's all about personal taste, and fair enough.

    And I didn't read MunchingZombie to mean that it would be transphobic to decline the hook up. I think he was just saying that there is a reasonable amount of transphobia around, generally, in the gay community.
    Which can be true.
    Fortunately, there is also lots of acceptance around in other places, too. icon_wink.gif

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    Jul 14, 2009 2:07 PM GMT
    Halfstep saidI would want to know immediately because I wouldn't pursue it any further. I am gay, I like men. Not men who want to be women, or men who have taken steps to become women.


    Hey man - respect your not being interested.. but just wanted to clarify that we're talking a person who was born a female, and transitions into male, not the other way around. There is still that pesky problem of bits you're not really into, granted, but just wanted to clarify we're talking transmen, not women, yeah?
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    Jul 14, 2009 2:12 PM GMT
    Timberoo saidI'm not really sure what 'unconventional' means, because I honestly don't know a lot about how the genitals of transgendered man who has undergone gender reassignment look. If everything functions and you are enjoying it as well, then I think there would be a problem.

    If you haven't undergone gender reassignment surgery? Honestly, I don't know. I have experience with women, so a vagina doesn't scare me. It's just not my thing anymore.


    Good questions Timberoo..
    'Unconventional' is a little hazy.

    You could tell there was something different about a transguy's cock post surgery - any one who is a cock connoisour (who isn't round here? icon_wink.gif ) could. The surgery's not that good, sadly. (Actually that's a nice way of putting it..) That actually isn't the situation I was thinking of, but it does raise whole other questions for how that situation should be approached..


    Anyway. I'm still not fussed whether the answer is I would/wouldn't go there.. just interested in the yes I'd want to know, and this is when I'd want to know.
    And the discussion has pretty much reinforced my current tell, and tell early approach. icon_smile.gif
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    Jul 14, 2009 3:46 PM GMT
    r_Evolutionary_boy said
    t0theheights said

    And I'm sorry, there is *nothing* "phobic" about not wanting to hook up with someone with mixed genitalia. I want a guy who has 100% guy parts--that's what I'm attracted to, end of story.


    I agree with ya mate, I certainly don't take it as *phobic anything if a guy doesn't want to hook up with me. I figure it's all about personal taste, and fair enough.

    And I didn't read MunchingZombie to mean that it would be transphobic to decline the hook up. I think he was just saying that there is a reasonable amount of transphobia around, generally, in the gay community.
    Which can be true.
    Fortunately, there is also lots of acceptance around in other places, too. icon_wink.gif



    That is exactly what I meant. t0theheights is allowed to find attractive what ever he finds attractive.
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    Jul 14, 2009 4:11 PM GMT
    r_Evolutionary_boy said
    Halfstep saidI would want to know immediately because I wouldn't pursue it any further. I am gay, I like men. Not men who want to be women, or men who have taken steps to become women.


    Hey man - respect your not being interested.. but just wanted to clarify that we're talking a person who was born a female, and transitions into male, not the other way around. There is still that pesky problem of bits you're not really into, granted, but just wanted to clarify we're talking transmen, not women, yeah?


    Oh hell like buck angel? Actually thats kind of hot. I would still want to know up front, but I would be extremely curious lol. there I said it.

    I don't know if i would be for pursuing a relationship though. you would have to be really masculine. I go for that.
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    Jul 15, 2009 1:52 PM GMT
    Halfstep said

    Oh hell like buck angel? Actually thats kind of hot. I would still want to know up front, but I would be extremely curious lol. there I said it.

    I don't know if i would be for pursuing a relationship though. you would have to be really masculine. I go for that.



    lol. yeah. just like buck angel.

    and don't worry, i'd only be after you for sex anyway. icon_wink.gif