Jul 07, 2009 4:02 PM GMT
Hi, this has probably been posted before but I am needing some help dealing with this. I'm a 38 year old male who has on again off again homosexual tendencies. When I was 32 I was "caught". I was working as a construction worker and word spread throughout the industry I was in about me. I have never denied it but never admitted anything. Since then I have tried to switch careers many times to get away from this but it just keeps following me. I work in predominately hetero environements. Usually it is anywhere from 6 months to a year before word gets out and then there is the dreaded "faggot" and "boy lover" innuendo's that get tossed out and every other word seems to be directed at me. I am getting so tired of this! I feel like I am some kind of perverted freak and my life has greatly been affected by all of this. I used to be so confident about myself and abilities now I am like the timid wallflower at work after this comes out. I don't know how to handle it! Lately every aspect of my personal life has been affected. I don't go out and I would prefer to be alone. I took a job last Monday since I have been unemployed for about 6 months after returning to school to yet again switch careers. Yesterday the "faggot" remarks started. I realize that the term "gay" gets tossed around like the wind with 20 something males but I know the drill when this starts happening. I get this uneasy feeling that just never lets up. I know that there is probably not alot of advice you can give me in dealing with this other than accept it and move on but has anyone else been in this situation and if so what did you do?