Nov 24, 2007 4:51 AM GMT
Ok so basically I met this new friend of mine a little over a month ago. He's not really out to many people, hes an ex wrestler and we kind of did stuff when we first met at college. We didn't do a whole lot just kissing and jerking. I told him at that point, hes new and I felt I was best served as a good friend that could help him sort shit out. I came out when I was 14 so I remember how hard it was and some of the adjustments needing to be made. Over the few weeks we became closer and especially over the last week or so I had him over to my family for thanksgiving and he enjoyed it (I'm out to my entire family). He's been quite kind and honest with me.
So over the past few days he really grew on me. I didn't think I would develop feelings for him but I ended up doing so. I told him about it 2 days ago, I just basically blurted out that I really liked him. I told him I wasn't expecting to get these feelings for him. I know hes been having problems with the existing people hes been dating this girl and guy. I told him I didn't want to get together, because I knew the trouble he was already having and I didn't really even want a relationship I just wanted him to know how I felt. He told me it made him feel really good that I said it. He also basically said that he found me attractive, but he wants to see what is out there and that he didn't think he found me attractive in that way. He said he didn't understand why he didn't see me in that way because he liked my qualities. He then said that maybe in time he would find me attractive in that way. He said even if we were to be together he wouldn't want a label but he would still want the commitment.
I basically felt really weird leaving the conversation because honestly I never been rejected in that way before by a friend. I feel very close to him and we've been expressing that to each other. I was even not sure if what I was feeling for him was that of a very close friend or that of someone I would like to date. I've also never felt this way about a friend before but it isn't the same feeling as that of a boyfriend. I guess it just feels very weird because I've never been in this position. I've only been in position of friend's liking me and me not really wanting anything. Hes one of the only people I've met in my life though that I've felt I could talk with openly be honest, and I believe he feels the same. Hes a very good looking guy all the guys want him, but hes also nice and intelligent.
The problem I guess arises, what the hell do I do? If he doesn't find me attractive in that way (which I originally didn't with him for whatever reason) I guess theres nothing I can do. I think I am best being friends with him, it just jerks me a little when I see him with the guy hes currently with kissing him and dancing. He also doesn't want to be with him, and apparently hes been waiting for a chance to break it off. I guess around him I feel inadequet and I've never really felt that way around someone, its not doing too great of things for my self esteem.
So over the past few days he really grew on me. I didn't think I would develop feelings for him but I ended up doing so. I told him about it 2 days ago, I just basically blurted out that I really liked him. I told him I wasn't expecting to get these feelings for him. I know hes been having problems with the existing people hes been dating this girl and guy. I told him I didn't want to get together, because I knew the trouble he was already having and I didn't really even want a relationship I just wanted him to know how I felt. He told me it made him feel really good that I said it. He also basically said that he found me attractive, but he wants to see what is out there and that he didn't think he found me attractive in that way. He said he didn't understand why he didn't see me in that way because he liked my qualities. He then said that maybe in time he would find me attractive in that way. He said even if we were to be together he wouldn't want a label but he would still want the commitment.
I basically felt really weird leaving the conversation because honestly I never been rejected in that way before by a friend. I feel very close to him and we've been expressing that to each other. I was even not sure if what I was feeling for him was that of a very close friend or that of someone I would like to date. I've also never felt this way about a friend before but it isn't the same feeling as that of a boyfriend. I guess it just feels very weird because I've never been in this position. I've only been in position of friend's liking me and me not really wanting anything. Hes one of the only people I've met in my life though that I've felt I could talk with openly be honest, and I believe he feels the same. Hes a very good looking guy all the guys want him, but hes also nice and intelligent.
The problem I guess arises, what the hell do I do? If he doesn't find me attractive in that way (which I originally didn't with him for whatever reason) I guess theres nothing I can do. I think I am best being friends with him, it just jerks me a little when I see him with the guy hes currently with kissing him and dancing. He also doesn't want to be with him, and apparently hes been waiting for a chance to break it off. I guess around him I feel inadequet and I've never really felt that way around someone, its not doing too great of things for my self esteem.