Dating multiple guys....

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2009 8:18 AM GMT
    I just moved to Kansas City and have realized something. A lot of guys here are dating multiple guys at once. My question is what has been the most amount of guys you have dated all at the same time, and how did it end up?
  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    Jul 10, 2009 8:25 AM GMT
    Cant help ya, I have never been on a date.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2009 8:48 AM GMT
    Dating multiple guys seems kinda sketchy. I mean, are you really dating them? Or are you just helping yourself to a fuck buffet? icon_lol.gif

    In other words, are you spending enough time with each of the guys to really get to know them and potentially develop a serious relationship?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2009 9:57 AM GMT
    I always tend to date one guy at a time. Im old fashioned. Might even go steady with that guy lol. But as for dating multiple guys.---i doubt that will go anywhere because your not focusing all your interest to that one person. With multiples its scattered and nothing long lasting will be formed. Plus in my eyes..your a real slut if you do date multiple guys.,..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2009 2:34 PM GMT
    I'm not the one dating all these guys. I just found it interesting that people do do this. When i date its one guy at at time. Was just seeing how people do juggle all the guys and not slip up somewhere.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jul 10, 2009 2:46 PM GMT
    interesting how people equate 'date' with 'fuck'
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    Jul 10, 2009 4:32 PM GMT
    Timberoo saidinteresting how people equate 'date' with 'fuck'


    Well I equate date with fuck, but that's because if we're fucking then we're dating...guess I'm old school like that.

    And to remain old school, I've only ever dated one person at a time.
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    Jul 10, 2009 4:50 PM GMT
    I think there's a propensity among younger guys to want to experience as many guys as they can. I mean, there's a difference between 'dating' someone and 'seeing' someone.

    I've always felt the distinction was based on that premise that 'dating' was more serious and usually more exclusive, whereas 'seeing' just meant that you were getting to know someone or possibly just fooling around with them.

    If these guys genuinly are, by my standards, 'dating' multiple guys, I really have to question their character. icon_eek.gif
  • bchbum

    Posts: 161

    Jul 10, 2009 5:04 PM GMT
    Dating multiple guys?? Wow, more power to them. I can't even date one guy.
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    Jul 10, 2009 5:11 PM GMT
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19136

    Jul 10, 2009 5:40 PM GMT
    Dating multiple guys doesn't necessarily mean you're sleeping with any or all of them. After all, one of the advantages to being single is that you do have the freedom of dating without there being any commitment to anyone. I agree with bchbum though --- it's hard enough to find one guy you want to date, much less multiple ones at the same time. We should ALL have such problems.
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Jul 10, 2009 5:42 PM GMT
    bchbum saidDating multiple guys?? Wow, more power to them. I can't even date one guy.


    I with Del and bch ... let me go out on a date and get back to you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2009 5:49 PM GMT
    ...do whatever you feel comfortable doing.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2009 6:05 PM GMT
    Well over the years I've found myself in stations of life where I was 'dating' multiple men at once...but I wasn't having sex with any of them....Meanwhile I've found myself fucking multiple men concurrently but dating none of them. And I've been fucking one guy or two while beginning to date another.

    That might have made me a little slutty at time, but so what. I'm always honest with folks concerned/involved about what's going on. If they don't like it, go trouble someone else.

    I think it depends on the boundaries you maintain with each person. If I were dating a guy and started fucking him...I should only be dating and fucking HIM.

    The ideal isn't always within reach- some times life presents you with several pieces of delicious cake when all you want is a sandwich. Doesn't mean you always have to pass on the cake while you wait for the sandwich.
  • dannyboy1101

    Posts: 977

    Jul 10, 2009 6:08 PM GMT
    For me, they seem to always come in two's. Two guys I'm interested in, usually for opposite reasons. And usually both prove themselves to be assholes almost simultaneously or interest subsides around the same time leading into a dry spell. It's weird and horribly inconvenient methinks.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2009 6:19 PM GMT
    Dating is dating... not a relationship. When you are at the dating stage it is completely appropriate to date more than one person.

    A relationship with someone is a different story. When you have decided that you want to be exclusive, then multiple dating is no longer appropriate.

    Say, for instance, that you go on a date with someone. It was nice, things went well. Then you make a date with another person. Things also went well. You can continue dating them both until you decide which is better for you. Person one might fizzle out after date two or three (which, with busy schedules can take weeks), while person two might last longer. At least, that I how I always understood dating.
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    Jul 10, 2009 6:38 PM GMT
    scarabboy saidDating is dating... not a relationship. When you are at the dating stage it is completely appropriate to date more than one person.

    A relationship with someone is a different story. When you have decided that you want to be exclusive, then multiple dating is no longer appropriate.

    Say, for instance, that you go on a date with someone. It was nice, things went well. Then you make a date with another person. Things also went well. You can continue dating them both until you decide which is better for you. Person one might fizzle out after date two or three (which, with busy schedules can take weeks), while person two might last longer. At least, that I how I always understood dating.


    Actually, any kind of interaction with a person meets the definition of 'relationship,' although I get the gist of depth you seem to be targeting. Meanwhile, why not state from your own perspective instead of as the omniscient voice, eh? You certainly aren't speaking for me and surely many others.

    I'll agree that dating is a category unto itself, but how many of us do not equate dating with sexuality on some level? Often guys start with sex and, if they enjoy it, begin dating. Yeah, it's 'bassackwards,' but just look around...it's somewhat of a norm nowadays. I'm not going to delve in so far as to say what's right or wrong for others, but for myself? I'm a date 'em one at a time kind of guy--same for sexual involvement: one at a time.

    It's a fascinating concept (i.e. fucked up) that so many date so many at once, particularly from the communal sharing of STIs frame of reference. Yeah, even if you are just kissing in those dating relationships you can still be transmitting disease, but sharing is caring, right?! Personally, I'm not interested in being 'one of many' and if I'm not enough to interest a guy in the singular, well then, I'm not interested in the guy regardless of what others deem 'completely appropriate' for themselves. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2009 6:42 PM GMT
    There's NOTHING wrong with dating multiple guys! I have been known to date up to 10 guys at a time!

    Look at it like this, some like doing outdoorsy things. Some enjoy dining out. Some enjoy certain things you do and until you find one that can encompass most of your likes, no harm and "trying them on" until you find one that's worth giving ALL of your time to!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2009 6:44 PM GMT
    Ohhh...child one is enough that's all I can and will handle....lol.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2009 7:15 PM GMT
    scarabboy saidDating is dating... not a relationship. When you are at the dating stage it is completely appropriate to date more than one person.

    A relationship with someone is a different story. When you have decided that you want to be exclusive, then multiple dating is no longer appropriate.

    Say, for instance, that you go on a date with someone. It was nice, things went well. Then you make a date with another person. Things also went well. You can continue dating them both until you decide which is better for you. Person one might fizzle out after date two or three (which, with busy schedules can take weeks), while person two might last longer. At least, that I how I always understood dating.


    I agree. I admit having done all of the above. I always end up committing to one person, of course. You just need to be safe if you're trying them out sexually as well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2009 7:22 PM GMT
    Dating a few guys at once is fine - as long as everything is on the table and everyone agrees. This is a good way to go - unless and until - you meet that certain someone!icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2009 7:38 PM GMT
    EXCELLENT reply Randy!icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2009 8:25 PM GMT
    Randy you nailed it on the head. yea i went on a date with someone that has told me he is dating 3 other guys. He is a great guy but just don't understand how someone can do it without slipping up somewhere. And im sorry but im not gonna compete with 3 other guys for a date. No thanks. no if the other three guys dont work out then i would be more than happy to jump in and date him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2009 8:32 PM GMT
    i would like to date one guy at a time but that does not seem possible when guys i date seem to be dating two guys in one day or they have dates with "friends" too . So i am forced to go with the flow or not date at all.
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    Jul 10, 2009 8:34 PM GMT
    Timberoo saidinteresting how people equate 'date' with 'fuck'


    AMEN!!!