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Oh and if you answer "great communication because then you can explain to your partner what you want to make it great sex".....I don't buy it.

Can you be in a relationship without having great communication?

Can you be in a relationship without having great sex?

I am going to post my answer tomorrow because I am falling asleep...but I had this topic on my mind and would like to know your thoughts....

If there is going to be a good, long lasting relationship.. it takes both.
Gotta be on the same or similar sexual level if you expect it to last and be happy. You need to feel almost as close as best friends if your wanna remain happy in your relationship.
Not asking for perfection here, just the right chemistry.
But if you make me choose one, at this point I'll take communication. I can please myself physically in between the actual love making.

If you have great communication, good chance you'll have good sex.

unfortunately, Delivis... thats not the case..

But, I'll take communication over the sex..

Ditto on the communication over sex.

Of course you have to have good communication
But why does that mean you have to forgo any good sex?

Over time, if a couple has good communication skills, I assume they'd become closer--otherwise problems may occur and the relationship may end (what's the point of a healthy relationship if you can't communicate?)

Being close to your partner and loving him, I feel in most cases, can lead to great sex.

I believe passion leads to great sex for many couples.

This isn't true for everyone though.

Great Communication.


During Great Sex.

I love both... and perhaps its just because your "tired" there Michael that you don't buy the good communication yields good sex argument.

There are various types of communication. Good chemistry is direct communication, so whether it be verbal, non verbal or chemistry... there is communication and that directly affects great sex.

I count on my communication for sex.

I am a full and complete human being. Therefor I have full and complete human needs. Some of those needs can be met with communication. Some of those needs can be met with sex. Having it be one or the other is like asking "which would you like this weekend: food or sleep?" Sure, you can hypothetically chose one in this thread, but the reality is if you have only one you have a shitty relationship and you are better off finding a different one.

Communication is key to any relationship.
Also with great communication you will be able to convey that the sex could use some improvement

Great communication equals great sex? lol, no!

HOW you communicate is just as important. Sex is a form of communication, on a very basic level, so.......

Now we can see some of you shaking your heads over this, but wait! heheh

We think some of the answers on here more appropriate to 'Which situation will last and which won't? A relationship based on communication or sex?' Communication wins. A relationship based on sex, no.

Communication! You can find good sex more often than you can find good, genuine communication and having that connection/chemistry with someone.

Sex, you know you have great communication skills when you both have happy endings without Talking.

Why does it have to be either? The answer is BOTH and thensome.

Assuming you're getting both, for me it would be communication, too. But frankly, I'd want both to be great, and that's really what I look for.

"What's more important" questions like these remind me of a satirical "Peanuts" comic I saw many years ago, when jogging had recently become a big craze in the US. And Snoopy the dog was out jogging, little outfit & all, and his body parts were all arguing with each other, with text balloons emanating from different parts of his body. His body parts were insisting that each was the most important one for jogging. The text balloons went something like this:

Eyes: "Well, we eyes are the most important. You couldn't see where you're going without us!"

Brain: "You wouldn't know where to go without me!"

Feet: "How would you even jog without us?"

Stomach: "Try jogging without any energy!"

And so on. Therefore whenever I read one of these "most important" puzzles I'm reminded of that comic, and what an impossible question they usually beg.

I have to say both. But not 50/50.
I would say 70% - great sex
30% great communication.
Then as we become wrinkled, and out of shape old geezers, you can flip the bloody numbers around!!
But seriously....my partner and I have been together for 10 years. Great sex has always been the best therapy and communication.
Cheers,
Keith

I never understood couples, especially long term, who have stable loving relationships but DON'T have sex. I guess I can understand cuddling, kissing, communication and waking up next to someone you love, but no actual sex?

And then there are relationships when the sex is out of this world, but the guys don't communicate. Let's face it...you really don't need to communicate much when the testosterone is in high drive. I've been with guys where the sex was great, but they turned out to be vacant emotionally.

I thought it was generally understood by anyone with a brain that in the beginning, sex is usually fantastic. But it's impossible to maintain that level of intensity for years and years.

I think with communication, the sex, while it still is hot, becomes more nurturing and loving and longer lasting if the guys are growing together emotionally. I mean.....LOVE is a powerful aphrodisiac.

Sex! Who wants to communicate with the jerk?

You can have great communication with your friends too... If he's the only guy you're having sex with, it better be good

communication, communication, communication, sex comes with the deal if the former's great

I think communication is the most important aspect of any successful relationship, whether it be platonic or romantic. However, the importance of sex and intimacy cannot be ignored either.

But I say communcation over sex. Yes, there are certainly many long term partners, both of the homo and hetero sort, who do not have sex for whatever reason. Clearly, it's not a necessity, and I think in long term relationships, the dynamics change, and it may not be as much about lust as it is love and being soul mates.

Relationships are not static. Any relationship that lasts will change throughout it's course. Communication is the key to every relationship.

Not sure you can have truly great sex over the long term without good communication. Regardless, I'll take good communication over great sex any day cuz good communication would lead to great sex anyway. Okay, now who's ready to communicate

Great communication. I can have great sex with a stranger. Can't have a relationship without communication.

just sex = fuck buddy
just communication = friend

you need both, communication being more important (as long as the sex is not ikky)

MunchingZombie saidI am a full and complete human being. Therefor I have full and complete human needs. Some of those needs can be met with communication. Some of those needs can be met with sex. Having it be one or the other is like asking "which would you like this weekend: food or sleep?" Sure, you can hypothetically chose one in this thread, but the reality is if you have only one you have a shitty relationship and you are better off finding a different one.

NOTE FROM OP

I really wasn't asking you to choose one or the other, I merely wanted to start a dialogue on which of the two were more important to you.

If the answer is "It is a tie" so be it.

I am reading some interesting posts and though I was "tired" I really did know what I wanted to ask....thank you very much you know who.

Personally, and this is my humble opinion....I do not think great communication can make bad sex great. I think communication may make bad sex somewhat better...but not turn it into great sex....or at least that has been my experience.

That being said, I cannot be in a relationship for very long without great communication. I think there are things a couple can do together if the sex isn't great....but I don't think there is much that can be done if there is bad communication....and a couple unwilling to work on that.

My 2 cents.

The best relationships involve a ball gag.

meninlove said

Great communication equals great sex? lol, no!

HOW you communicate is just as important. Sex is a form of communication, on a very basic level, so.......

Now we can see some of you shaking your heads over this, but wait! heheh

We think some of the answers on here more appropriate to 'Which situation will last and which won't? A relationship based on communication or sex?' Communication wins. A relationship based on sex, no.

Doug and Bill have been in a 19 year LTR. We all should gather around and listen to what these two have to say on this matter

CuriousJockAZ saidNot sure you can have truly great sex over the long term without good communication. Regardless, I'll take good communication over great sex any day cuz good communication would lead to great sex anyway. Okay, now who's ready to communicate

so agree

silverfox1 saidOh and if you answer "great communication because then you can explain to your partner what you want to make it great sex".....I don't buy it.

Can you be in a relationship without having great communication?

Can you be in a relationship without having great sex?

I am going to post my answer tomorrow because I am falling asleep...but I had this topic on my mind and would like to know your thoughts....

Yes you can have a relationship but it will only be as good as the communication part of it.
Yes, you can have a great relationship without sex. It's just different kind of relationship. You are not lovers you are friends or family.

For me I love sex so much I have to pick communication in order to get to the sex.
Sure I can have great sex with a hooker, but it will leave me feeling hollow and empty because I did not really know that person, it was just sex no part of it was a relationship. You need the communication for that.

Football1988 said Sure I can have great sex with a hooker, but it will leave me feeling hollow and empty because I did not really know that person, it was just sex no part of it was a relationship. You need the communication for that.

Hookers may be your most sensible option, actually.

sex does not make a relationship, it is merely one small part of a very large equation.. you have to look at the whole to fully understand and appreciate any relationship.. there is no simple thing here..

How about great communication during great sex?

Delivis saidIf you have great communication, good chance you'll have good sex.

Dito

charlitos said

Delivis saidIf you have great communication, good chance you'll have good sex.

Dito

It would be even better if they could have great sex, without communication, and with would make it even better.

I think the problem in the question is not the either or of sex or a soulful connection. The question assumes you must have a relationship.

You can have both out of a relationship, certain things from some people, certain things from others.

No one, at least most people, do not NEED a bf. So why force it through compromise so substantial (Every relationship has compromise and growth, etc.).

If you are conscious you are compromising on either issue you have what will pull the relationship apart in the future, near or far.

This is not to say that relationships aren't amazing and wonderful, just that it seems people make the goal begin a relationship, like getting a relationship, or moving out on your own from your parents, thinking that is the key to being happy.

A guy should inspire the relationship not the other way around.

I watched a PBS thing a few years back. It was about couples who were still in love and were really old. It was creapy to watch. But they all said the same thing. "The sex was really great!" The visuals are bothering me too, but there ya go. That's what you have to do to keep the love alive.

O prefer communication mainly due to the fact you get to know the other person and are not left wondering the hell is going on.

Seriously, if you think sex makes a relationship then it's one screwed up world.

Hmmm, we still think sex is another form of communication.

So really, it's best to have communication on both levels, friendship wise and sexual wise. One OR the other does not an LTR make.


It's always a good idea to consider that both types of communication must have natural ebbs and flows, peaks and valleys. This is where we see so many crash and burn. Love is patient. And it's kind. So be both.

Let's face it, if Bill and I communicated constantly like we did from day one (staying up til 4am talking talking talking) our bosses would have lynched us by now. Or we would have slapped each other silly by now. Or on the sexual side, having daily visits to the Doc for treatment of abrasion, sore muscles, and a host of other things from 12 hour a day sex.

Sex is the same!!!!! If you're impatient with the peaks and valleys of it, your hand is there. Use it. Two seconds after it's served its purpose, you wonder what all the fuss was about.

There are many that take care of non synchronous sexual periods by having a mutual arrangement of open relationship. This works fine as long as it doesn't involve hoodwinking anyone else.


-Doug, then Bill, then Doug..

Sure, I can have 'ok' sex with minimal communication and
and great sex with someone who puts me at ease....isn't the 'putting at ease' a form if great communication?

We may need to define what great communication is... The depths of what that statement means.... my definition of great communication: a talk that elevates the feeling state from a lower level to a higher level; being understood in a way that seemed impossible before the communication began.

The basis of any good relationship...no matter what kind it is is communication...period! Good sex is great, but good sex will only take you so far...communication is the key, and if you do not communicate even if the sex is earth shattering...it will not last.

I think they go hand in hand if you have good communication. Sex is just another form of the communication and connection.

Celticmusl saidI think they go hand in hand if you have good communication. Sex is just another form of the communication and connection.

Not another one...

Communication over sex.

Why? Because I can get myself off with my own hands, and have been known to during numerous hours of bordom.

But communication thats completely different. I can't sacrafice that because I am a complex person and it takes someone patient enough and loving enough to both get to know me and talk things through with me to have a lasting relationship with me.

none of those things can be achieved through great sex, though great sex is always a plus. But I'd take a partner that I can communicate with and appreciate over someone I have amazing sex with any day.

As someone who isn't as "experienced," can you really not have both? That's so depressing. Haha.

Definetly Communication is more important

The whole premise is ignorant. Communication is key to great sex, and not just verbal. I can be very turned on by someone and if he says or does the wrong thing I lose all interest. Communication has been integral to all of my LTR's and I have never dated a guy just because we had good/great sex.

Those few with whom I have had an intimate LTR, we could just give each other a look out in public and know exactly what was going to be happening later behind closed doors....and the anticipation was the biggest turn-on and not the act. Sorry ignoramuses but having sex is communicating whether you are aware of it or not, and I pity you if you haven't figured that out yet.

If you're not a good communicator, chances are you're no fun in bed either.

Does low deep moaning and squirming when you are about to cum qualify as good communicating?

saguaroman saidDoes low deep moaning and squirming when you are about to cum qualify as good communicating?

What a slutty question.




And the answer would be a BIG SLUTTY YES!


I need both in order to stick around. What's the point if you're not satisfied or can communicate and be heard well?