Interpretations (What I Thought Was..Was Not)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 12, 2009 6:20 AM GMT
    I was in a two-year long distance relationship (I know how everyone feels about those lol), me and him talked for hours every day and would webcam for hours at a time. We spent virtually every hour of the day in contact for about 1.5 of the 2 years. I spent 2 weekends over the summer with him and his family. I loved him but I didn't have any sexual contact with him (I felt weird and I'm still a virgin woo hoo). I was 17 when we first started going out and he was 23 (turning 24 soon). Well about 1 year ago (July 2008 ), he moved to North Carolina with his parents, his aunt, and his 3 cousins. As soon as he moved, contact became less and less. I felt the end drawing near. Skip to September 2008, a day before I start college, he decides to break up with me. He said "I just don't feel like being in a relationship anymore". I said okay and we spoke only on holidays for a minute at the most. He was the closest thing I had ever come to the whole "love" thing. I was heart broken. More recently, I have regained myself. Well about a week ago, he IMs me out of nowhere and starts spilling a violent vitriol of painful truths. He reveals to me his plan that he had created for me. He said "I was never in love with you, I just wanted to be in you. When I saw that a year and a half had gone by with no sex or anything, I knew I needed to move on, so I did, I didn't want to tell you at first so that's why I said I didn't want to be in a relationship. I am now in one. So I hope you can move on faster know that you know the truth. I'm sorry if it hurts". I was like "What the f*ck!", my wounds were finally being to heal and then he goes ahead and reopens them. Since, that conversation with him, I have taken the advice that I should've listened to long ago and I have completely erased him from my life. Yeah the only thing left to do is stop talking about him, I know. I just wanted to know what you guys think about this situation. Is it possible to interpret something as love when it's just another person's sexually driven master plan to f*ck and destroy?
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    Jul 12, 2009 7:36 AM GMT
    oh dear.. how classless and tacky that other fellow sounds..

    I don't give a shit what pain he was going through or what he was working out.. you and he were no longer together in any fashion... he should have kept it to himself..

    No.. what I think he was doing was looking to alleviate his own guilt over how much of an arsehole he was to behave in such a low fashion towards another person or perhaps more sinister to cause more pain to you..

    Either way..

    view him as a learning experience and pay him no more attention, communication, anything.. he's out of your life and keep him that way and his opinions/ideas/thoughts out too..
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    Jul 12, 2009 8:12 AM GMT
    Thank you all for your kind (sometimes odd lol) thoughts icon_biggrin.gif I appreciate everyone's participation. Lately, I have been able to look back on the two years and talk to my close friends and family about it. This alone is something I was not able to do a few months ago. Now when I look back at it, so many things that people had been saying were true. I now realize that for two years, I had done nothing for myself, I had become completely a part of his bullshit. I lost my identity in a way and when the end came to a head, I was completely lost. I had no identity, no reason, everything had been for him. My creative mindset had died in those two years. With loss, comes gain, and I regained everything I had lost. I gained my creativity, my identity, my life, my reason. I blame nobody but myself for not listening to my family and friends, they were the ones who knew that I had been gone, in a black hole of a relationship. Since September, my life has improved so much, everyone I had detached myself from is now back in my life. I have created so many great works of writing. College has been a great experience, I have met so many people that I know will be in my life and my career. I hadn't heard from him since New Years, so I was surprised when he, out of the blue, IM'd me. That last conversation was the nail in that coffin. Now I can finally talk about it without feeling alone or sad. Now it's like talking about the news or something lol. If loving someone in the future means losing myself, I'd rather be alone, I tend to be happiest when I'm alone lol. I've written over 200 lyricisms (as i like to call them lol). I plan to have 200 more by the end of the year. I am me again! Yays!
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    Jul 12, 2009 8:15 AM GMT
    You know it makes me think back to when I worked on the gay scene. I was 21, and it was also my introduction to the gay community[s]. Not long off a farm, big chest shoulders, and calves to dye for. I was popular.

    Working for a gay club. I was in the gay public eye. So I had many young virgins fall for me, and want to give me their cherry. You know. I never took it. I just did not find their experience, and virginity a turn on. I like my men to be men; still do.

    Gosh think of all those broken hearts I would of had to deal with too.

    You know it's not all his fault; nor yours.
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    Jul 12, 2009 8:19 AM GMT
    Lol you and him are different, all he wants to do is pop cherries icon_eek.gif I find it ironic that his current "boyfriend" is the same age as when me and him started going out (17). I don't blame him for attempting to destroy me, he just should've tried harder, because his attempt didn't work out so well LOL icon_razz.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 12, 2009 11:26 AM GMT
    This is definitely a time to hit the delete key and block any further messages from this Bozo
    If anything should make you upset is that you wasted any time on him to begin with
    If he'd wanted sex .... then why didn't he ask for it? icon_rolleyes.gif